Loki loves Thor, he yearns for him, yearns for the brother he grew up with, the one he fought and played with, the one he was so close with, but then why has his brother turned into this woman-seeking hotheaded brute? Constantly pushing his younger brother away as if he meant nothing. Loki feels nothing but hurt, hurt for being treated this way and left alone with no one else to turn to except for his books, but then… Then Fandral comes along and saves him.
Loki sits in the library, looking out of the window and down towards the training-grounds. He can see Thor, fighting with Sif and actually being beaten sometimes. He can see Volstagg laughing beside them, he can see Hogun just standing there and being Hogun. But no Fa-
He looks up as he hear footsteps, hard and rough boots hitting the stone floors. "Fandral…" Loki thinks, wonders why Fandral of all has come to the most quiet place of the palace; there is no girls to fawn over here. No maidens to flatter, just Loki and thousands of books.
But Fandral sits down on the opposite chair, smiling wide as he does so, he doesn't say anything, doesn't move, nothing but sits there so Loki, awkwardly turn his head towards the window again, Thor and the others now gone.
"Do you watch us often?" The question felt horrible, yet Loki nods silently, glancing towards Fandral real quick before looking out of the window again.
"I often watch you." Fandral says, and Loki have to look back, and Fandral is smiling and Loki… Loki feels almost happy that someone actually sees him. The raven haired youth says nothing, but nods, his mind racing.
That one meeting became more meetings, until they met at least one time every day. Often Fandral invites Loki to the big rose gardens, where they sit surrounded by delightful scents of the many roses growing in the garden. Fandral had a big blanket with him which they sit upon, under the big oak next to the rippling pond.
"I never thought this would happen." Fandral says above him, Loki was seated between strong legs, held by Fandral, staring out over the garden.
"To have you in my arms-" you could hear Fandral smiling as he spoke,
"To being blessed with your sweet and tender kisses-" at that, Loki turned his head just the slightest, tilting his head to give Fandral that sweet and tender kiss he was speaking about.
Loki had almost forgotten about his love for Thor. Had almost forgotten about the desire for the golden prince, had almost forgotten how he longed to be held by tanned, strong arms.
Fandral had saved him from his longing and delusional thougths, had made him almost whole again.
"I love you Loki." Fandral says, but Loki, no matter how much he likes Fandral, can not bring himself to say it back, can not bring himself to say those three words to the one who saved him, instead he kisses him tenderly again and hopes it will show Fandral just how much he likes him.
Fandral approves, and kisses back with force, with lust and with such passion Loki's left panting and feeling weak to his knees.
Lustfilled meetings continue, and love seems to grow on Loki, for he can actually say "I love you" to Fandral, without sobbing, without thinking about Thor.
Today is yet another meeting in the garden, Loki is laying on the blanket now, Fandral hovering above the pale prince.
"I want to give you everything-" Fandral says tenderly, runs his hands along the insides of milky white thighs.
"I want to be one with you-" Fandral dips down and kisses Loki passionately, his hands spreading Loki's legs even more as long fingers enter that sweet body.
"I love you-" Fandral says lustfully and kisses Loki's chest, free hand moving over sensetive nubs, tweaking them in the most glorious ways.
"I-i love you, Fandral-" Loki moans sweetly, arching into Fandrals lovingly touches, until they both lay spent on the blanket, trying to catch their breaths from passionate lovemaking.
:::
Though no one knew that Thor had seen it all; had seen Fandral kissing and nipping, marking that pale body, had seen Loki moan and huff, arch into every touch he got. Thor had seen it and he felt enraged, but could not do a thing, couldn't do anything but watch as the pair feel into a soft slumber, naked bodies laced together, a perfect fit.
Thor stomped off; moved down the stairs swiftly, fueled by his blind rage at seeing his, his beloved brother in such position, the brother he wanted just like that. As Thor rushed outside, he kept seeing Fandral giving Loki that blissful pleasure, when all he wanted was to give Loki that himself. Thor wanted to be buried within Loki's body, wanted to feel him under himself as they moved in sync; as one. Just like Loki and Fandral had done.
Upon reaching the garden, Thor stood in front of the spent couple in a matter of seconds; fuming and eyes narrowed dangerously as he growled towards his blonde friend. No one was to lay a hand on his brother, no one.
But Fandral isn't backing away; isn't leaving Loki in a frightened state, instead he holds the pale youth closer to his naked chest, and Loki, Thor can see his younger brother lean into the touch, can see Loki turning his green eyes away, facing Fandrals chest instead. In that very second, Thor's anger crumbles and he's left with nothing but a heartbreaking feeling run through his entire being. Loki doesn't want him. Loki has Fandral, Thor tells himself repeatedly as he backs off slowly, his features softening as he understands it all. He was too late. He gave Loki to someone else.
Thor had lost his beloved brother.