A Hit On The Ed
By: Dawn
Ed, Edd n' Eddy © Danny Antonucci
Summary: When Ed gets a bad whack on the head, the wheels in that hollow shell begin to turn and everything starts making sense. When Ed's intelligence finally kicks in, he turns out to be smarter than Double D!
Chapter 1: Anchor, Ho!
Double D stood there with arms crossed and back erect. He had the look that he constantly wore when Eddy was going on with another one of his hair-brained schemes on his face. He began tapping his foot, and cocked an eyebrow up.
"Now then, Eddy....must I ask?" he said in a monotone voice.
"What?" Eddy replied, sounding accused.
Double D sighed heavily as his facial expression relaxed and he let his arms fall to his sides.
"Eddy, honestly...a pirate ship? Who would want to actually ride that thing anyway? It looks dangerous! Where are we even going with this hunk of splintery wood?" Double D said, gesturing toward the hazardous ship he and Ed had built.
"Ahahahaha! Look at me guys!!! Arg, matey's! ARG!!!!" Ed yelled as he slid down the mast before falling flat on his face.
Eddy exploded with laughter at his friends mediocre antics as Double D crossed his arms again and rolled his eyes.
"I have the strongest feeling something bad is going to happen before the day ends..." Double D muttered under his breath.
"HEY! IS THAT A SHIP?!" a familiar voice called out from below.
The three Eds looked over the edge of their giant ship and saw Johnny staring back at them in awe.
"HI JOHNNY!!!!!" Ed called down.
"Why it sure is Johnny-boy! YOU can personally experience the life of a pirate! All you have to do is pay a measly fee of TWO quarters!"
As Eddy shouted out to Johnny, more of the kids began to show up, wanting to know what Eddy was up to this time.
"A pirate? Did you hear that Sarah? We'll get to live a pirate's life!" Jimmy said, tugging on Sarah's shirt.
"Ugh, do we really have to Jimmy? It's just gonna be as stupid as the other things these idiots came up with!" Sarah replied.
Jimmy continued to encourage Sarah, "Aw, come on, Sarah! Don't be a land-lover!"
Finally, Sarah gave in and sighed. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn ya..."
As Sarah and Jimmy, who was skipping, went over to the plank leading up to the entrance of the ship, Johnny put his quarters into the jar.
Double D, who was dressed up as a pirate, watched as the quarters hit the bottom of the jar. Eddy was almost drooling as he saw the jar already starting to fill with "booty".
"We're gonna be rich!...."Eddy uttered to himself as he rubbed his hands together.
"Moo! I am a parrot, Eddy!" Ed yelled as he somehow, yet again, managed to defy the laws of physics by flying onto Eddy's shoulder and knock off the fake parrot that was previously there.
Double D stared at his lovable oaf of a friend, with his shock hidden behind his calm demeanor.
"Remind me to ask you later on how you did that Ed..." he said.
Not too long after their first customer, business was booming. Everything was fine until an unwelcoming shrill voice was heard.
"Hey! Look at that Lee!" the voice said.
"Well, well, girls. Looks like we struck gold!"
"We found us some nice booty!" the third voice said stupidly, laughing at her own statement.
"Kankers..." Eddy said under his breathe, "What do you want from us, Lee?"
"What no 'Hello.'? We just came to claim our booty, captain!" Lee said as the three slowly started to stalk their pray.
"R-remain calm, fellows..." Double D said nervously to his mates, as his entire body shook.
Ed couldn't hold back. "K-ka-ka-ka-ka----KANKEEEERS!" he shouted.
As soon as everyone heard the name 'Kankers', they knew trouble was coming. Soon enough everyone was high-tailing out of there. Everyone, except Johnny, who was too busy playing with the steering wheel.
"Look at me, Plank! I'm a captain!" he said fooling with the wheel, and pretending to concentrate on where he was going.
"Huh? What's that, Plank?" he asked, stopping and pressing the cold 2x4 to his ear, "The Ed's are in trouble you say?....Kankers?...You're right, Buddy. We should get the heck out of here, too!"
As Johnny ran to get off the ship, he accidentally tripped over a pile of chains that got caught around his ankle. He put Plank in his mouth for a few seconds as he weaseled his way out. Once he was free, he dropped the chain and continued to run. The chain hit the floor of the ship and began to slid across the poopdeck, making the anchor fall.
Meanwhile, back with the Eds...
"Pucker up, matey!" Lee said as she stepped closer to her sweetheart.
"Y-you stay away Kankers, or I'll...I'll...." Eddy struggled with his words.
As Eddy tried to figure out what to say, the three girls looked up to see the oncoming anchor falling from up above. They quickly ran away to avoid getting hurt.
Double D looked up as soon as they ran away, to see the ton of iron about to fall onto their heads.
"Heads up, gentlemen!" he shouted.
Eddy looked up instantly and the two of them ran away. Double D turned to see his tall monobrow friend standing there dumbly in the anchor's path.
"Ed! LOOK OUT!!!" he cautioned.
Unfortunately as soon as Ed turned to see what Double D wanted, it was too late and the anchor crushed him.
Ed was now underneath the heavy metal. Everything slowly started to blur as he saw everyone running up to him. He could hear his friends calling to him, "You alright, Lumpy?!" "Ed! Speak to me!" but he couldn't talk. Soon, everything sounded muffled. He opened his mouth to speak but his eyes shut, and he was unconscious...
Chapter 1 End
A/N: Yes, I know that the chapter is short, but it's late at night, and I thought that this would be a good spot to end the chapter. I promise that the next will be longer! Please leave your reviews! Thank you!