Crutches
It was kind of pathetic, really, watching The Man - what a dumb nickname - hobble around on one leg, angrily tossing her gear into her poor, defenseless duffel bags. Leaning against the door frame, Alexa wondered just how long it would take for Becky to notice her presence. After the first six minutes went by, it was clear that Becky was too laser-focused on trying not to fall over - clumsily hopping around the empty locker room, cursing under her breath every time she bumped into something. It was a rare moment of vulnerability for her, and Alexa knew that Becky would never let anyone see her in such a position. She was known for putting on brave faces long before her blood rivalry with the MMA prodigy.
Alexa rolled her eyes. Why was she even here? She asked herself the question multiple times over these lengthy six, now pushing seven or eight, minutes. Everyone else was long gone. Charlotte? Gone. Rousey? Gone. Save for a few stragglers among the production crew, the arena was empty, yet here she was, watching a former champion struggle with the simplest of tasks.
She wasn't fooling anyone, though, least of all herself. Alexa knew why she was here - to help. Knowing that an injured Becky was constantly being left behind with no one to help her made Alexa feel something. Pity? Disappointment? Sympathy? Whatever disgusting feeling it was, it brought Alexa here tonight to offer some sort of assistance.
Plus, she needed to knock off, 'Don't be completely terrible to everyone' from her 'New Year's Resolutions' list early. It was right above, 'Don't let Lacey Evans turn Larry Steve into a bacon side dish' and below, 'Stop getting interrupted on my own talk show aghhh!'
Amidst her internal musings, Alexa hadn't noticed the pair of eyes that locked onto her. If she was a deer in headlights, Becky was a lion ready to pounce.
"Of all the people that I didn't want to see," Becky stated, voice undoubtedly filled with irritation. "You are at the top of the list."
Alexa scoffed, trying her best to regain her composure after being caught so carelessly. For a one-legged woman, Becky sure was stealthy.
"Funny. I would've thought that Ronda would be number one. You know, considering that she sort of beat you within an inch of your life and all."
This isn't exactly what a non-terrible-person would say, Alexa said to herself. Why was it so easy to be a sarcastic jerk all of the time? Why was she so bad at being good?!
Still, Becky chuckled. "No, I want to see Ronnie again so I can break her arm." She gave Alexa a once-over, the smaller woman feeling slightly uncomfortable. "It wouldn't be as fun breaking yours."
If Becky had been feeling any hint of embarrassment, she certainly was covering it up quite well. Alexa sighed - this was going to be tougher than she thought. They were on separate brands for the better part of two years, and the time away almost made Alexa forget just how stubborn the Irish woman was. Except now, Becky was stubborn and confident, a combination that idiots are made of.
She shook her head. Be nice, she reminded herself. Nice.
"Look, Becky. I'm not here to ruin your day or anything like that."
"Too late."
Alexa could feel her brow furrowing. At this rate, she was going to-
No. Nice. Be nice.
The petite woman steeled herself, swallowing any leftover traces of anger and sarcasm, hoping to get through the thick - 'lovely!' she corrected - skull of Becky.
"I stood behind to help you. Packing up, giving you a ride - basically the things a person with two good legs can do."
Becky paused whatever she was doing to stare at Alexa again. Alexa stood around awkwardly, waiting for Becky to say anything. It's not like she was intimidated by Becky or anything, but if she wound up leaving the arena with both of her arms intact, she would count that as a blessing. In hindsight, perhaps Alexa could've thought this entire idea through a bit more, starting with actually having some sort of speech prepared. After minute twelve came and went, Becky finally approached Alexa, crutch in hand.
"You're joking," Becky stated bluntly.
"Do I look like The Joker to you?" Alexa held a finger up as soon as Becky's lips began to twitch. "Do not answer that."
Becky raised an eyebrow, analyzing Alexa's face, presumably trying to read her expressions. "What game are you trying to play here?"
"This isn't a game. Haven't you ever heard of 'new year, new me!' before?" Alexa asked, her frustration increasing by the second. It's not like she was the devil - did Becky seriously have to question every single thing that she said?
"That only applies to people who are capable of changing."
Ouch. Alexa felt that one.
"Yikes," she replied. "A little harsh, but if you jus-"
"Yeah yeah, just save it." Becky's voice was becoming a lot louder and more forceful as she spoke. Not the sign of a cool, calm, and collected person like Alexa was hoping for. She really needed to learn to stop hoping for these sorts of things. "I trust you about as far as I can throw… Well, I trust you about as far as I can throw someone else."
"Oh, come on. I've never given you a reason not to trust me!"
"You put me through a table."
"Uh, legally!"
"You used a mask to try and steal my championship."
"All in the spirit of healthy competition."
"You tossed me around a steel cage."
"You're just making me sound cool, to be honest with you."
Becky groaned loudly, rubbing the bridge of her nose in irritation. Alexa wasn't one-hundred percent positive, but she had a sneaking suspicion that her responses weren't satisfactory. At least she could rest knowing that she was cooler than she thought she was.
"I'm going to say this plainly so you understand - I don't need your help," Becky said. She was obviously beyond finished with Alexa's antics. "I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help. I've made it this far on my own, and I'll be damned if I let anyone try to help me now. So take your help, take your stupid, fake attitude and go away."
Alexa was stunned into silence. Not because she felt particularly insulted - she's been told way worse in the past - but because Becky's miniature tirade seemed to come from out of nowhere. Be it curiosity, or another one of those 'feelings,' but something about this told Alexa to keep going further. She took a look at her arm, giving it a small kiss 'goodbye,' before addressing Becky again.
"You, uh, got some repressed emotions there, Becks?"
"Just shut up already, would you?"
"I'm not a therapist, but you know, talking about your feelings helps sometimes. It's gross, but it helps."
Becky chuckled once more, a sound that was starting to become Alexa's least favorite sound of all time. "I cannot believe that you, of all people, are lecturing me about feelings. You haven't had a genuine emotion since birth."
If 'agitated' was a genuine emotion, then Alexa was proving that to be untrue right then and there. Letting out a sigh, disregarding every bone in her body telling her to cut her losses, Alexa walked past her, taking a seat on one of the locker room's hard benches. She had no idea if this was worth it anymore, but she had already come this far. She wasn't going to let Becky ignore her kindness anymore, dammit! Becky was going to accept her, and she was going to like it!
"You seem like you need a good talk."
Becky looked up towards the sky, as if asking the gods if she was being punished. "If I talk to you, will you finally leave me the hell alone?"
Alexa gave her no words, instead patting the space next to her. She could've sworn that she heard a quiet, 'I hate you,' but decided to let it be. For now.
"So," Becky began, once she begrudgingly took a seat next to Alexa. "This is going to be stupid, isn't it?"
"Nothing stupid about a little Moment of Bliss."
"I hate you."
Okay, that one was very audible.
"Yeah, I'm definitely getting a lot of rage vibes around here," Alexa said, drawing a circle in the air around Becky's general area.
"You'd be pissed off too if you had to deal with half of the crap that I do." Becky stopped herself, the look on her face screaming that she already revealed more than she wanted to.
"Never-ending injury, losing your championship, possibly being kept out of Wrestlemania. That about right?"
"It's more than that."
It was tempting to keep pestering Becky to get on with it, but Alexa decided to give the other woman the time she needed to collect her thoughts. Part of being a more sympathetic person was being a caring listener, right? She definitely read that somewhere, so it had to be true.
Man, was she bad at this.
At minute twenty-three, Alexa once again questioned why she was doing this. Was helping Becky worth having to deal with everything that Becky was now? Was it worth having to listen to her life's story, and be rudely insulted by the woman whenever she had the opportunity? No, it wasn't worth it.
That's what she wanted to say. But Alexa couldn't look at Becky nowadays without feeling things. Emotions. Nobody was helping her. Becky did a good job of pushing people away, but did that mean everyone had to give up on her? Alexa could be cold, but she wasn't heartless. And even though her history with Becky was rocky at best and downright horrible at worst, her stupid, dumb heart wouldn't let her sit around while Becky hobbled her way into dangerous situations. This wasn't about a stupid New Year's list anymore. This was about helping someone that desperately needed it - someone that she couldn't stand to see getting hurt anymore. That whole mess was an entirely different set of feelings to think about another time.
Oh no. Is this what the Grinch felt like?
"I'm not good at this whole 'venting' thing, you know."
"Just say whatever's on your mind. Try it."
Alexa flashed Becky what she hoped was a smile, and not her usual brand of evil smirking. Whatever her lips ended up forming, it seemed to work, as Becky took a deep breath and began to share.
"For years, I've always done my best to do the right thing. Always waited my turn, always stayed positive, always smiled, even when I lost. I thought that was enough. I worked so hard - so freakin' hard - every single week to one day get an opportunity. I jus- Could you stop staring at me like that?!"
Alexa nearly fell out of her seat, taken aback by Becky's sudden outburst. "Where else am I supposed to look?"
"I don't know. The floor?"
And so Alexa turned her attention to the floor, silently noting how full of grime it was.
"Now, where was I?"
"Smiling, working hard…"
"Right."
Alexa nudged Becky, urging her to continue.
"I always tried my best. I never complained. Maybe that was my mistake. Then there's Charlotte, someone who swears up and down that she's my best friend. What does she do? She comes in and shoves me to the back. Every time. I keep thinking about how I lost my best friend the day I punched her in the face."
Alexa didn't fail to notice Becky's own brand of smirk at the mere mention of punching Charlotte in the face.
"Honestly, I wonder if I even had a best friend to lose in the first place."
"This is a lot heavier than the meat-headed drama I was expecting."
"Are you going to let me finish or not?"
"Keep going, this is good," Alexa insisted, eyes still glued to the dirty floor beneath her feet. She was going to have a talk with the cleaning crew come RAW next week.
"Even after kicking Charlotte's arse and winning the championship, I still felt bitter. Everyone's going on about, 'Badass Becky!' and 'Becky 3:16!' but I'm just so angry inside. I appreciate all of my fans, but I always feel like I need to do everything on my own or else I'm letting everyone down, including myself. Sometimes, I'm not even sure of who I am, or who I want to be."
Becky paused to let the weight of her words sink in, noticing that Alexa was still eyes-deep in the dirty ground. "That's basically it. It all sounds pretty stupid, huh?"
Realizing that Becky's story was done, Alexa turned to face her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I never thought you were a badass."
Instead of a chuckle, Alexa was greeted with a genuine laugh from Becky. The sound was soothing and, thankfully, didn't carry the same arm-breaking undertones as her chuckles and scoffs did. Regardless, Alexa found herself smiling herself.
"You really are the worst," Becky said, this time much more playfully than before.
"I try," Alexa replied. "Seriously, it's not stupid. I know what it's like to feel disconnected from yourself."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. It's not easy being a goddess. Hey, why did you ask that with so much disbelief?!"
"Oh, no reason."
"Anyway!" Alexa continued, "All I'm trying to say is that I understand where you're coming from. I know I can annoy you, but I really did come in here to help you out. I'm willing extend that invitation to 'venting buddy' and 'new, cooler best friend.' If you want."
Alexa stood up from her seat, offering her hand to Becky. Becky placed a hand to her chin, pondering over whether or not this was a good idea. Yet, after a few seconds, she took Alexa's hand in her own. "This comes with free rides, yeah?"
"The fact that you've been driving this whole time is honestly horrifying."
Helping Becky to her feet, Alexa grabbed The Man's bags and slung them over her own shoulder. Before she could lead Becky to the parking lot, the woman spoke up once more.
"Why did you suddenly decide to help me out anyway?"
Alexa didn't have an answer. It was just something she needed to do, and something that was way harder to put into words than she initially thought.
"I don't know," she replied. "I guess it looked like you needed an extra crutch."
"Works out," Becky said with a grin. "You're about the same size as this one."
"Rude."
Maybe Alexa wasn't the paragon of kindness that she wanted to be, but this, at least, was a start.