Disclaimer: Here's a random fact: Puppies pwn. Here's another random fact: I don't own Prince of Tennis, or any of the characters. :)
Rating: PG, I supposeseseses
Warnings: Shounen-ai/yaoi (threesome:o), Niou, more-or-less fluff
Summary: Niou enjoys a relatively quiet evening with Shishido and Ohtori. As far as 'relative quiet' goes for the Trickster, anyway. Happy late birthday, Niou!
Author's notes: Another Rikkai drabblething. You don't have to have read the ones that come before this, but it might help a bit. The full list can be found on my profile.The latest ten drabblethings are:
Cirque du Rikkai
Guess Who Fate Doesn't Like Much?
Eep, Crayons, and Parrots with Problems
The Waiting Camel
Operation: Gentleman Hunt
A Little Autumn Tale
Cases in Point
The Theology of Scarves
"He'll Live."
Kick the Trickster!
It's late (what do you expect of me by now, eh?), but… OTANJOUBI OMEDETOU, NIOU MASAHARU.
Massive hugs to everyone who reviewed 'A Little Autumn Tale' and '"He'll Live."'. You guys rock, mwa. I'd list you, but my internet's being insane and won't let me open any of the review pages. -Annoyed- So sorry about that, but thanks anyways!
Oh, and if you haven't heard of the Myth Triangle, you may a) get a slight shock, b) hate me for some reason or other. n.n;; Just so you're forewarned.
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"So where d'you keep the dimension-warping kittens from Mars, then?" Niou asked conversationally, looking round the expansive, expensively decorated livingroom.
Shishido looked annoyed. "What the hell is it with you and those kittens, anyway?" he demanded. "That's the second time I've heard you mention them. Knock it off, alright? I don't have any kittens, dimension-warping or no."
"No? How about oscillating frogs? Ah, no, I forgot – you're scared of those."
"Alright, alright," said Choutarou placatingly as Shishido's annoyance visibly grew. "Stop teasing him, 'Haru-san." He took a seat on the sofa (one of them in any case – there were four around the room, all perfectly colour-coordinated) and nodded at the space beside himself. Niou took it with pleasure, leaving Shishido to reluctantly sit down on Niou's other side.
"Twenty-one days to Christmas," said Choutarou reflectively, settling back into the cushions.
Niou grinned a little and sprawled himself out in the space he had, resting his feet on the coffee table just to enjoy Shishido's valiant attempts to keep his temper. "Yeah. Think it'll snow? I couldn't care less of course, but the bratling is incredibly overenthusiastic about the prospect of a snowball fight."
Choutarou smiled. "Well, I'll hope it does then, just for Kirihara-kun."
"Puri," Niou snorted. "You shouldn't encourage him. He's insufferable enough as it is, what with Mura spoiling his little bratling face off. I swear, one day I'll find one of those kittens of yours," he directed at Shishido, "and turn him into something more tolerable. Maybe a hen… But that could get noisy. A snail might be better. Good company for Not A Cat."
Laughing a little, Choutarou said, "Is that the tarantula? Oh no, wait, it's the giant snail, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"I don't have any kittens," muttered Shishido, but it was more a matter of principle now than a real complaint.
"Ah, that reminds me," said Choutarou. Niou raised his eyebrows, saying silently but pointedly that anything remembered by association with kittens from Mars couldn't be a good thing. "It's nothing to do with kittens or dimension-warping, 'Haru-san. I just remembered that I need to give you your birthday present."
Niou's eyebrows went a little higher. "You got me a birthday present?"
"Well, yes," said Choutarou, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Which it was, of course. "It's downstairs – I'll go and get it. Play a quick word game or something if you can't stop yourselves arguing while I'm gone, ne?"
"A word game?" Niou repeated with scorn. "Chouta, in your very heart of hearts, do you know us at all?"
Choutarou gave a little shrug – Niou caught a glimpse of a hastily-smothered smile as Choutarou turned away to exit the room. He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling; while he massively appreciated the boy's quiet sense of humour (when it wasn't at his expense, at least), it was still hard to tell sometimes when Choutarou was joking.
"Just a suggestion," the tall boy said, opening one of the heavy oak doors and slipping through the gap. "I won't be long."
"I can think of a good game to pass the time. It's called, 'Kick the Trickster'," Shishido said loftily. To Niou's surprise and intense irritation, Shishido neatly anticipated the kick sent his way and swung his legs to safety.
"Naïve," he said triumphantly.
"You won't be saying that when I find your kitten stash and own your ass all the way to Mexico," Niou shot back. Then he suddenly gave a toothy smirk and added, "Come to think of it, I own your ass anyway… Never mind."
"Niou!" Shishido barked, ears flushing an angry red. "Shut the hell up. I really, really don't think Choutarou would want one of the maids overhearing you saying things like that. Keep your mouth shut. In fact, that sounds like a good game to play. Let's do that."
"Why, Ryoh," Niou purred, eyes dancing. There were very few things more fun than winding up the shorter boy. "You want to gag me? I didn't think that'd be your cup of tea."
The red on Shishido's ears spread across his cheeks. "Stop baiting me!" he growled. "You know I hate it when – well, stupid thing to say. Of course you know that."
"Of course. And it's my birthday, so I get to bait your temper as much as I want," said Niou smugly. "You just don't want to admit you like me calling you Ryoh." The last bit was a deep, deliberately breathy rumble. Shishido viciously suppressed the shudder that licked up his spine.
"Don't make me call you Masaharu," he threatened. It was a valid threat, and Niou's smirk faded a touch as he considered the risk versus the reward.
"You really shouldn't do anything that might remind me of my aunt and uncle," he said at last. "I might stop finding you quite so cute."
"Well, good! I don't want to be found cute, thank you very much. I guess we can both agree that Choutarou's got that covered."
There was a brief pause in the flow of time for both boys as they thought very fondly of the silver-haired boy for a few moments. It was probably lucky that Choutarou wasn't in the room to see them; he'd have been reminded of love-sick frogs for sure (a long story, and one that still woke him in the middle of the night sometimes).
"Anyway," said Shishido finally, bringing himself back into reality. "Here's a deal for you, then. I don't call you Masaharu, and you think of something more suitable to find me as."
Niou frowned thoughtfully, then shrugged and said, "Alright. Deal."
"… What, really?" Suspicion laid several ostrich-sized eggs in Shishido's mind.
"Really." With a dangerous level of satisfaction, Niou settled back into the sofa's cushions. 'Go on, then,' his expression said. 'Ask. I dare you.'
"… What's the catch?" Shishido had never been good with dares.
"Nothing much. In return for me accepting the deal, you have to answer a little quiz question for me. If you get it wrong… well, let's just say that I want you to get it wrong, hmm?"
"What? Why?! The deal works both ways! I don't call you Masaharu. That's good enough, surely?"
"Neinenfraunenherr," said Niou, inadvertantly causing the deaths of several German gnomes. "It's in your interests not to call me That Name too, you know. If you want all your limbs intact."
"Ah," said Shishido triumphantly, "but you can't do me any permanent or semi-permanent damage, or you'll have to face Choutarou's wrath." His ears reported to him what he'd just said, and he added, "Well, mild displeasure, at least. Or slight disappointment, anyway…"
"Ah," mocked Niou, "but I can do temporary damage. Which is worse, because I can do you lots of temporary damage over and over again. So there."
"Ah, but Choutarou can change the rules to include temporary damage."
"Ah, but it's a hell of a lot easier if you just answer my question, baka, because then I won't have to hurt you. Today," he added quickly – the threat must always be there. Otherwise, heaven forbid, Shishido might actually start to think that Niou didn't get nearly as much enjoyment out of causing him physical pain as he did from other people.
Shishido sighed loudly and pointedly. "Fine, then! It's too late in the evening to argue," he muttered.
"Eight isn't late, but whatever. Alright, here's your question," drawled Niou. Shishido braced himself. "… How is honey made?"
Shishido blinked. "That's it?"
"That's it. I can't be bothered to think up a hard question for you."
The ostrich eggs hatched into little baby Suspicion Ostriches. "It's a trick question, isn't it?"
"No, for once. I just like making you run through hoops," smirked Niou. "Be a good boy and answer the question, Ryoh."
Gritting his teeth to help calm his temper, Shishido bit out, "Bees collect pollen and nectar from flowers, take it back to the hive and put it in honeycomb where it develops into honey. I don't know how, exactly – probably some weird chemicals they use, or something. So there."
"Wrong."
"Oh, for crying out loud! You can let me off for a few minor details!"
Niou waved a finger back and forth. "No, no. Honey isn't made by bees; it's made by pandas. See, the whole bee thing is an urban myth, created by honey ghosts in order to trick silly people like you. Pandas gather nectar from bamboo, eat it, and secrete honey through special glands around their eyes. Hence the honey-like colour of the patches there."
"Panda patches are black, you colour-blind fool!"
"Not honey pandas."
Shishido gritted his teeth tighter. "There's no such thing! There's honey badgers, but they're black and white as well!"
"See? You're so taken in by corporate lies that you've never even heard of a honey panda."
"I knew it was a trick question!" Shishido snarled.
The smirk turned into a leisurely leer. "It wasn't a trick question. It just relied on you to be more sensible than the average citizen of the world." Niou stretched like a cat, then pounced.
To be fair, the sound Shishido made was definitely more of a surprised yell than an actual yelp. Not that it made too much difference, because Niou took it as his victory anyway. Still though, it was nice to be fair.
Niou grunted as his side came into contact with something sharp, and he had to scramble a little to get away from it. "What the hell do you have in your pocket? A bloody compressed hedgehog?" he asked, scowling.
"No!" snapped Shishido.
"Well, what is it, then? Take it out; I don't feel like getting my side shredded."
"I would," said Shishido pointedly, "but there's something heavy trapping my hands."
"All muscle, Ryoh. Fine, I'll take it out for you." Against Shishido's protests and loud complaints about breaches of privacy, Niou managed to dig out the offending object.
"Why are you carrying a miniature parcel round?" he asked, dryly amused. "Don't you have some kind of special postage servant, or something?"
"Don't be ridiculous. And it's not a parcel, anyway."
"No?" Niou made a show of prodding it, sniffing and even licking the side of the brown parcel paper. "Well, damn, you sure had me fooled."
"You don't like anything festive or commercially happy," Shishido muttered defensively. "It was either that or use a ball of string or something."
"Well, why would-" Niou's lightning-quick brain cells finally pulled themselves away from staring at the handsome boy trapped underneath him and tapped him on the proverbial shoulder. "… Oh."
Shishido sighed. "I was going to give you it later," he muttered, "but I guess you can open it now, if you like. Doesn't really make that much difference which of ours you open first."
Niou felt oddly touched, such a rare feeling for him, as he disentangled himself from Shishido's limbs and sat back where he was before.
There was a series of squeaks from the other end of the room, and Choutarou pushed open the door.
"Sorry it took so long," he apologised, making his way over. "The paper tore on one side somehow, so I had to redo it. Oh…" He looked at the parcel in Niou's hands and another badly-suppressed smile appeared. "I see you found your other present, 'Haru-san."
"I gave it to him," said Shishido.
"Lies and slander," said Niou absently, turning his present over and over.
Choutarou chuckled and sat down. "Here," he said, handing Niou the identically-wrapped present he'd been carrying. "Happy birthday, 'Haru-san."
"… Heh…" Niou stared at the two presents for a moment, then the familiar lopsided smirk crawled out again. "Well, well, what a novelty," he said, starting to pull off the neat sellotape of Choutarou's present and the slightly less neat sellotape of Shishido's.
Choutarou had bought him the latest electronic Puzzle Master, and Shishido had bought him a penknife so packed with little gadgets that it looked like something the US military would be frightened of.
"I knew you wouldn't bother to buy one yourself, even if you really wanted one," said Choutarou with a smile.
"I just decided that if I can't stop you causing mass frustration and torment, inflicting pain beyond Life itself and being generally disagreeable, I can at least help poor Kirihara and your other victims die in a bit more style," shrugged Shishido. But he was smiling a little too.
"I guess I'm supposed to thank you," said Niou gruffly. Neither Shishido or Choutarou took any real notice – they knew Niou was just embarrassed.
Choutarou shifted along the sofa to give Niou a gentle kiss. Or it would have been gentle if Niou hadn't grabbed the back of his neck and taken over.
Before he could lose himself, Choutarou pulled out reluctantly and said, "Just on a quick note – Yukimura-san and the others are throwing you a small party tomorrow evening. It would have been tonight, but Marui-san only told him it was your birthday this morning. So keep tomorrow evening free." He leant in for another kiss, but Niou moved.
"Woah, hang on," he said, eyebrows raised. "A birthday party?"
"Obviously," Shishido mumbled, rather occupied with Niou's throat. "You're not going to get a party for being the world's greatest saint, are you?"
"What, even the bratling?"
"Kirihara-kun was one of the most enthusiastic, I gather. Yukimura-san told me that he's been begging him to let Trousers and Mr. Wiggles and Not A Cat come so that you'll have all your proper family there."
"Bet he had little stars in his eyes when he told you that," Niou muttered distantly. Annoyed with Niou's apparent coherency, Shishido nipped him indignantly. "Ow. Watch your teeth, Ryoh."
"Actually, he did look rather… indulgant," Choutarou nodded.
"Figures. Ow, Ryoh! Jeez. So… what, they're all gonna be there?"
"Mm hm."
"Fukubuchou too?"
"Yes. Shishido-san and I are going as well."
"Huh. That really is everyone... Ow!"
"Well then, pay me some attention here!" Shishido complained, glaring. He pulled Niou in for an aggressive kiss and mumbled between licks, "Stop thinking about your teammates, huh? You can think about them tomorrow, when I'm sure you'll be falling over with gratitude, grateful person that you are."
It was raining outside – it wasn't cold enough for snow yet. Inside, of course, was the gentle crackle of the fireplace and faint sounds from downstairs; Niou fancied he could almost hear the voices of Marui and Yagyuu and the others among the house staff for a moment or two, before he closed his eyes
For the first time, finally, after sixteen years… Niou Masaharu finally, really, truly felt and understood that he wasn't at all alone.
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Sandy: Took him long enough, the silly boy xDD
Sorry again for the delay… I'm so bad, aren't I? n.n;; I blame the hecticness.
Please leave me a review? I'd be so happy to hear from you, I really would. All questions, comments, thoughts, theories, rambles, constructive criticisms etc are welcomed and loved. My writing bunnies have virtually deserted me, so this was really hard to write and I think it shows n.n;; So constructive criticism especially would be very gratefully received, mwa. :D But really, it's all good.
Until next time!