I had to change the name of the video viewing...thingy...so that it fit in with the universe of Invader Zim. I even was generous enough to put the titles of the videos in so that you can follow along with the videos we watched if you wanted to.
Purple: Um...isn't there supposed to be a disclaimer or something here?
Oh, that's right. Hold on...
Disclaimer: The Almighty Tallest rock!
Heh, sorry, wrong one. ;) Ah, here we are!
REAL Disclaimer: The Almighty Tallest were created by the brilliance of the human Jhonen Vasquez.
"Invader Zim, signing off!" the little Irken saluted, ending his boring transmission. He reported that he had filled Gir full of explosive monkeys or something, and that they exploded while they were still inside the little SIR unit's head, causing a massive blackout for a few minutes in the town he was hiding in. As if we care. It was funny to see a stray monkey explode again, though, while the Irken was still onscreen. It caused the defective SIR unit to screech with joy and attack its master.
"Thank snacks THAT'S over and done with," my purple-eyed friend mumbled. "Really, couldn't he do something more...I dunno...doomy?"
"Wait..." I said, pointing at the screen. "If the transmission's done, then what's that picture onscreen?"
One of the technicians fiddled around with the controls for a bit, then turned to us. "It appears that we've locked on to a signal from Earth, most probably the work of his SIR unit."
"What's 'PoopTube'?" Purple wondered, reading the homepage of the website. He and I completely scanned the page, becoming increasingly puzzled as we looked around. Some of the technicians left in their boredom, the rest left just so they can raid the snack room after going without eating for so long.
"Are these all live transmissions?" I asked my co-leader.
Purple shook his head. "No. At least, I don't think so. See, that one over there says it was posted 1 year ago. And that other one there says it was put up a month ago, whatever a 'month' is."
I nodded. "Okay, you might be right."
"Woo! I'm right!" Purple celebrated. I shot him a glare, then turned back to the screen.
"I'm going to put my name in the search bar...thingie...up on the top of screen, see what comes up," I decided. I carefully typed in the name 'Almighty Tallest Red' and pressed the Enter key. A rainbow wheel appeared to be spinning for a few seconds, but a list of videos eventually popped up. I narrowed my eyes at the title of one that said 'To Almighty Tallest Red!SCREW YOU!'.
"The nerve of some species," I growled.
"Oh, lighten up!" Purple chuckled. He pointed at another video called 'Almighty Tallest are the Candyman'. "What about that one? It has the word 'candy' in it, so it has to be good!"
"Not necessarily," I answered. "These...hyuuumans...don't seem very fond of us."
"That was just one video title!" Pur argued. "I bet it gets better! Click on the video, you'll see!"
"Fine!" I relented, going up to one of the main tech guys' desks and moving a pointer device around. I moved it over the blue underlined words and clicked it, bringing up the video. We sat back and waited a few Earth minutes as it loaded up. Hey, we're hundreds of light years away from Earth, you expect us to get a good wireless signal? The signal is okay, but not great. I'm surprised we got a connection at all. Then again, we are locked on to Zim's computer. That might have something to do with that.
"Ooo! Video's starting!" Purple pointed out after a short period of waiting. I sighed and sat in one of the chairs, crossing my arms.
"This better not make fun of us," I grumbled. I noticed with surprise that the humans used actual scenes with us in it. How did they get those? I didn't have time to ponder it, though, as we watched it the whole way through. From what I could tell, it was supposed to be a compliment of some sort, related to us attracting multiple females or something. I thought the end music for the credits was weird, though.
"See, that wasn't so bad!" Purple said with a smile. He knew the end music bugged me, so he started singing it teasingly. "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugy!"
"Shut up!" I growled, throwing a doughnut at him. He dodged it and laughed.
"Don't waste food, Red!" he teased. "People in conquered planets are starving, and would love food like that!"
"Yeah, yeah." I waved the comment away. "We all heard that speech when we were smeets. Now, should we watch another one?"
"You can choose this time," Purple decided.
"Oh, can I? Really?" I responded sarcastically. I studied the 'Suggestions' page on the side of the screen for a while, then clicked on one that said 'Tallest-Superstar'. "This shouldn't be too bad."
It showed the crowd cheering for us at the introduction to Operation Impending Doom 2, but when the first singing voice started out, I burst out laughing while Purple's antennae lowered in embarrassment. Somebody had matched a female voice to Purple! Classic!
"I LOVE this video!" I laughed, pointing at the still-playing monitor. Purple grimaced.
"Why didn't they make YOU be the girl's voice?" he asked huffily.
"Isn't it obvious?" I responded, still chuckling. "Your voice is high-pitched! You wear a color that's normally associated with pink!"
"HEY! You were pink at one time, too!" Purple pointed out.
"Yeah, but that was a more orange-y pink, yours is downright lavender! You're more girly than I am still," I replied.
"Yes, yes, I'm perfect to laugh at because of my voice, I get it," he grumbled. Then he smirked. "The repeating part of the song was catchy, though. And true."
I nodded and imitated Purple's high voice, making it sound more feminine than it really is. "I am a superstar, with a big big house and a big big car!"
"I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!" he sang back, imitating my voice, but deeper and sounding more stupid. We looked at each other, then cracked up again.
"Okay, okay, I'll choose the next one," Purple snickered, the first to recover. "How about this one?"
I peered at the title. "What's a witch doctor?"
He shrugged. "I dunno. Sounds cool, though."
"Then start it up!" I grabbed some nearby popcorn as he clicked on it. By the end, we were both snickering again.
"Oh, Irk, I have it stuck in my head!" Purple stated with horror. I paused and realized I did too. All I could hear was the chorus in my head, over...and over...and over... 'Ooo ee, ooo ah ah. Ting tang, Wallawalla bingbang. Ooo ee, ooo ah ah. Ting tang, Wallawalla bingbang!'
"For the love of-!" I exclaimed angrily. "Did the humans PLAN this? For it to be stuck on loop in our heads?"
"Type something else in the search bar! Quickly! Before my head explodes!" Purple begged. I typed in 'Tallest Red and Purple' and pressed 'Search', waiting impatiently for the results. When they came up, I clicked one at random, not even reading the title. Little hand drawn pictures popped up. I think they were supposed to be us. A scene started. My person was saying something about reading his favorite book, when Purple barged in, calling me 'Ron' and my person calling him 'Nickie'.
"What is this?" Purple wondered. The video seemed to answer for him when his character started singing to me 'If You Were Gay'. Purple burst out laughing, pointing at the screen while I scowled.
"That is NOT funny!" I protested when it ended.
"Is too!" Pur laughed. "It's about TIME you got made fun of in that way instead of me for once!"
"I'm leaving to go get snacks and escape this nightmare," I growled, hovering over to the door. Purple just waved me away and went up to the computer, clicking on a different, unknown video.
I was gone for about an Earth hour, and I thought it was strange that Purple hadn't joined me yet in the cafeteria. I had expected that he would grow tired of looking through the videos as well and come get some curly fries or something. Maybe he had become preoccupied with an actually amusing video? I wandered over to the room and listened against the door. An unknown song was just barely heard through the thick door, and it was speaking in a language of a foreign nature. What on Irk was he watching? I opened the door and hovered in, but I didn't expect this scene. Purple was happily trying to imitate this dance he saw.
"Pur...?" I asked questioningly. He turned his head towards me and smiled.
"Hey, check this out!" he exclaimed, pointing to the video, showing a drawn character of himself doing that exact same dance. "It's awesome!"
"It looks stupid," I retorted, examining it. I read the title. "Caramelldansen, huh? WHY do you always get into weird things like that!"
"Don't knock it 'til you try it!" Purple responded with a smirk, continuing the dance. I watched for a few seconds then sighed in defeat, imitating it as well. Of course, it was at THIS moment that the technicians decided to return. Of course. Their eyes widened at us and I was the first to notice them, yanking on Purple's arm to stop. He stopped too and stared at the other Irkens while I cut the transmission.
"My...Tallest...?" one hesitantly asked. "What were you..."
"YOU SAW NOTHING!" I shouted at him. The others cringed back and shot worried looks at each other, most likely fearing for my sanity. Purple sighed and told them to return to their posts. An awkward silence filled the room, and for a long time afterwards, rumors of us dancing an 'odd, Earthen dance' circulated through the Massive. The Caramelldansen was branded into everyone's minds. Even my friend didn't bring it up, although I know he felt less awkward about it than I did, and brushed off the event with ease. But everyone knows Purple's odd tendencies, and had dismissed them long ago. But the serious one of the pair, caught dancing the Caramelldansen without an explanation?
Irk, I need some nachos.