TITLE: Immortal Beloved (sequel to Goodbyes)
AUTHOR: Blood Of A Reptile
E-MAIL: blood_of_a_reptile@yahoo.com
RATING: PG (one Very Bad word)
DISTRIBUTION: list archive, ff.n, and my site; all others please ask
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my computer and a 10 year old car. Please don't sue.
SPOILERS: Umm… some for the movie. I don't mention much, but what I mention is kind of large. If you've read the comics and know what Pyro's affiliation was… you're safe.
SUMMARY: Companion to "Goodbyes". Rogue's take on the scene portrayed there.
AUTHOR NOTES: 1) Thanks much for all the encouragement. :) Feedback welcomed, but please be gentle. 2) I have no bloody idea what happens to Rogue (inside her head) when her powers engage, so I took artistic license. J
DEDICATION: To blaze1662001, remnants_2011, and Kumiko Eharu. Gave me much needed confidence to continue sharing my writing. :)
Marie was sitting downstairs watching TV when Bobby came in. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face made her move. He led her to a deserted hallway before speaking.
"St. John is leaving. That's all I know. I-I just thought you might want to hear about it before he was gone."
She stared at Bobby a little incredulously. Sometimes she just didn't understand him. Normally he did everything he could to stay on top in their little triangle.
"Thanks, Bobby," she replied after a moment of silence, then she walked away without another word.
She managed to make it to another hallway before letting the tears build up in her eyes. She leaned against a wall for a moment, before turning and walking down the hall towards the room Bobby and John shared.
She stared at the doorway that she had gone through thousands of times before without hesitation. For the first time ever she did not want to see what was on the other side of that door.
She tentatively raised her hand and knocked. A few moments later the door was flung open by a wild-eyed St. John Allerdyce. He looked murderous, then his expression changed to one of wonderment.
"Marie?" he questioned.
She stared at him, trying to think of something to say that would say everything at once. Something that would explain all the conflicted feelings she had for him, all the reasons why she wasn't with him, all the reasons she wished she was. But that something never came. "Is it true?" came from her mouth, softer than she thought possible.
"Yeah," came back almost immediately. She almost smiled. He always knew her better than anyone else. But almost isn't a smile. The situation was far too serious for that.
"Why?" damn it, that wasn't the question she really wanted to ask. Why wasn't her mouth listening?
St. John sighed in that special little sigh of his, and she knew that he didn't want to answer the question. That he was tired of the question.
Therefore, she was utterly shocked when a soft look flitted across his face as he stared into her eyes. Then he answered. "Because… because I'm not home here. I've never had a home. For one shining moment here, I thought this was it. I thought I had found my one place in all the world where I was content. But it shattered. So I have to leave. I have to find someplace where I can be me… and still be happy. Find people who will be my family… love me."
'I love you' her heart screamed, as her mouth formed the words "we love you here, John." For one moment she wondered if he was thinking about the day she'd arrived at the school.
The fleeting thought passed as John sighed one of his patented sighs. This one meant he wasn't happy with her answer. Since when did she know all of his sighs? She hardly had time to think about it before he said, "not enough, Marie. No one loves me enough."
Her heart sank. She could show him more than enough love, but at the same time she couldn't. Everyone expected so much out of her. She got the perfect marks. She was friendly to everyone. She was the role model to the younger students. And the role model had to go with the all-American good, safe guy… no matter how much of her heart belonged to the misfit rebel boy.
She knew deep in her heart that he would run to Magneto, the only person in the whole world that had encouraged his powers. The only person who had had the courage to show Pyro how special he was. And with Magneto comes Mystique.
"And you think they will?" she finally asked.
"Maybe. Maybe not. But I have to try," he replied. She thought she heard a hint of desperation in his voice. Or maybe it was her own desperation at the situation transposed onto him.
That desperation surged and combined with panic long enough for her heart to override her brain. "If I ask you to stay, will you?" she asked as she finally let loose the tears that had been threatening since Bobby had first told her.
He looked at her. "I don't know."
"John, will you stay?" she asked him, knowing that's what he wanted.
"Why?" She thought his features looked hopeful, though she couldn't be sure. She didn't think she'd ever seen John hopeful before.
"Because…" she began, trying to think of the right words to say. I need you? I love you? I'm not home without you? Just when she was about to speak, her stupid brain and her stupid sense of duty and responsibility overrode and the sentence finished itself with the wrong pronoun. "We need you."
She had barely finished internally kicking herself when he spat out "no", his features hardened into a mask of pain and hate.
She just stood there stunned as he flew about his room packing the rest of his things. This was *not* how the scene was supposed to turn out! She was supposed to tell him, and he was supposed to forget about everyone else.
But instead his things were in a suitcase, and his mind had already left them as he faced her in the hallway. She hadn't moved from her spot.
He stopped in front of her and stared into her eyes for a long moment. It seemed like she couldn't move, caught in his hypnotic gaze. She could swear he could see her soul.
And then he kissed her. Leaned down and solidly kissed her on the mouth. No fear, no protection… just passion. She kissed him back with everything she had in her as she felt her powers kick in and the essence that was John flow into her. It was the most amazing experience of her life. She could feel him, lips on hers, hands around her waist. But she could also feel him in her mind, in her heart. She felt his anger and his rage; she felt his frustration and his fear. She felt wonder and hate and beauty and peace and passion and John. But most of all she felt love.
He held on for a few seconds, then calmly released her. He bent down to her and whispered, "I'll miss you most of all Marie," in a way that meant that he loved her and only her and that he would die right then to hear her say it too. When she didn't, he walked away from her, and out the front door of the mansion.
He actually left. She sank slowly to the floor in the hallway. He actually left. Whatever it was between them was no longer a game. She could no longer see him. She could no longer flirt with him and tease him. She had been given a choice. She had to choose between duty and love, responsibility and John's soul.
And she'd fucking picked the wrong thing.
"I love you," she whispered to the empty hallway. Then she smiled through her tears as she felt him stir inside of her. His body might be gone, but he was still with her, now and always.