The Times That Try Men's Souls
A Goblet of Fire Fic
By: WeasleyTwin2
A/N: Though this fic appears to be a songfic, it is in fact not. It is set after Harry returns to the Dursley's for the summer. The Crisis is a pamphlet that was published by Thomas Paine during the American War for Independence and belongs to him. All characters and events described belong to J.K. Rowling and her publishers. Enjoy!
These are the times that try men's souls…
Looking back… It seems that I've spent my life looking back, searching for answers in the past. Reliving every moment with a clarity that surprises me. I see the events of the past several months before me as if I still stood at those places and the memories of those events cut me like a knife, which twists ever deeper into the wound created by them. The visions they conjure up in my mind, waking and sleeping are almost more than I can bear. I shouldn't feel guilty… rationally I know this… but in my heart I blame myself. Things happen to me that are beyond my control… I know this and yet, somehow I feel I should have known… I should have fought harder…I should have done something to stop it. Voldemort has returned "more powerful and terrible then ever" as Professor Trelawny predicted and it was through me that he rose again. A time of darkness has fallen on us all… Fear now follows me everywhere. I jump at noises and search the shadows for him, knowing he's waiting. My scar burns in my head… It's a warning that I must never ignore again for to ignore it as I have done will lead to more deaths, possibly even my own. I lay here in the darkness of my room and see again….
The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country…
I lay in the hospital wing of Hogwarts after facing Voldemort listening to an argument between Cornelius Fudge and Dumbledore as if through a haze. Fudge refuses to believe what Dumbledore and I have told him… he believes us mad, or at least he believes I am mad. He does not trust me because I speak parseltongue, which is the mark of a Dark wizard. I cannot believe that the Minister of Magic would be so short sighted… so stubborn…so blind. What had happened to the friend I thought I…we had in him? Why has he protected me only to abandon me and our cause in the hour of need? I have no answers…just questions. I am afraid for him and for us. What if others follow him? If we lose too many then when we begin to fall there will be no one to take our places. Voldemort is back and if we are divided then we run a greater risk of failing… We must not… no we dare not fail.
But he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman…
I will stand with Dumbledore and the others…I cannot let this fear inside me have control. I must be strong in the face of Voldemort's evil…I must try to hang on…try to be strong in the face of this threat but it is so hard and I feel so alone. Everyone is counting on me to light the way, to lead while others follow. How can I do this when I feel so lost myself, when the fear and guilt I carry is like a great weight on my shoulders. I must stand firm as I did the night he rose… the night everything changed… the night I was captured. Images of that night flash through my head, I can see it all as if a few moments only had passed between now and then. The graves around us…the pain in my scar… the shouted curse…instant death…Cedric laying on the ground…dead…the gravestone of Tom Riddle digging into my back and the ropes binding me to it cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs… Voldemort rising within the mist swirling around a cauldron…his minions apparating around me… feelings of hopelessness and fear within my heart…the pain of the Cruciatus Curse as it ran through my veins… my screams as they echoed in the night… the knowledge that a protection I had once had was lost to me now…the echoes of the ones Voldemort had slain appearing and calling to me from across time…my escape… Every moment of my ordeal seemed like an eternity to me. I felt and still feel that something has been lost to me. I must find it again before the battle… before I face him again.
Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered…
We must stop Voldemort at all cost, now before he grows too powerful. We cannot allow things to return to the way they were before I was born. We must stand together now. It is the only way to ensure his defeat…I heard his plans and I can still hear them. He's plans are nothing less then to conquer and rule all. He plans torture and worse… Fear and mistrust will grow once more. I will not stand by and watch it happen. I will fight, though that fight seems hopeless from where I stand. It is my duty… I'm the one to blame for it all. Through me…Voldemort had gained power greater then he had when he fell 13 years ago. I will master my fears…I will find the way to defeat him… I will discover his weakness. I must face him again…I know this and yet I fear it too. I cannot and will not allow him to win… it is not in my nature to flee or to surrender. I will get through this day and the next and the next until I am whole again…until I am strong once more and until my heart is healed.
Yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict the more glorious the triumph.
We must… I must survive to fight another day. Darkness surrounds me… I shiver in the darkness… fear, hopelessness and some emotion that I cannot name have entered my heart and they will not leave it again There are worse things to come… I know that and if I cannot survive what he has already done to me then I will not survive the coming conflict. Good friends will fall around me… if I cannot deal with the death of one who fell in front of me then how will I ever be deal with theirs when or if it comes. I must not let fear and sorrow control me… I must not let Voldemort have that power over me. The battle ahead will be long and full of peril but it is a battle that must be fought. I must not allow my fear to show or my sorrow…Victory must be ours in the end. I must find a way to heal my heart and soul of the wound it has suffered before its too late…before the battle comes…For only with my heart and soul healed will victory be assured. I shall find the way… I shall survive this night… I will conquer this fear that has become a part of me…I will learn the lessons the past has to teach me…then my heart will be healed…then victory will be ours