~A Flash of Memory~
"Kyou…kyou…" I kept saying as tears drop as it clings with the water, as I stare to nothing but the reflection of my face. I reminisced the past fired memories between Kyou and I. "I need you…"I whispered, popping the bubbles along my tub. I remembered all of what happened a long time ago... I looked at the mirror… It's like a dream, a nightmare... [puts both hands in the chest] I can feel his warmth, his love, even the slightest hurt he gave me, I still can feel it.
~~~ xXx~~~
It started in a high school crush/admiration. I was in 9th grade that time, wherein I felled in love in a campus idol. Actually, he's my classmate and known as the 'campus prince', his name is Kyou Kanji. He's a 'total' playboy and a great delinquent student, I don't know why I like that type but, something matters to me, it's the words 'I LOVE HIM'. I like to stalk him around and take some pictures of him and decorate it in my room. I even joined the school the school newspaper club just for him; he's the reason behind my decisions. I first saw him when I transferred here in Osaka High, he's a true celebrity when he walks at the main gate, and girls are screaming for him.
I don't have any feelings for him, but it blooms from time to time I looked at him. After a month, he courted me and I did answered him, I was so happy at that time. Among his other girlfriends, our relationship lasted longer, because of my conservatively attitude. He can't face his other girlfriends if he's not done with me, even though I'm still 'one' of his girls…his toys…his dolls.
Then one day, an unexpected day came… I have sinned against my parents, against any authority. I had sex with Kyou which broke my parents' trust and heart, I'm really ashamed for myself, but can I call that proving my love for him? I guess no… it's a mortal sin. I did that with him in the girl's comfort room, late dismissal. I cried down and begged for forgiveness before my parents, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" I said sobbing.
The next day at school, I tried to talk to him, even though he's with one girl. "What's up?"He said comfortably. "What's up? How can you talk to me like that? We did something devastating several times and all you can say is what's up? " I shouted back at him. "That's you problem; go find someone else to take care of what you are bringing."He said. Those words made me fell in to my own grave. I cried and clanged to him, "please, solve this problem with me."I said as I knelt down. He pushed me away and made me drop on the floor. "I don't have time with you; I don't want to see you again."He said and walked away with his 'girlfriend'. That's it? Throwing me like garbage? When suddenly, I burst out blood from my skirt. Someone saw me and quickly called the teacher, they brought me in a nearby hospital, a kilometer near our school. After crying, I lost consciousness, all I know is I'm in the hospital, hearing the voice of my mom crying while running me in the O.R. (Operating Room). As I opened my eyes, everything is blurred. "Oh god, she's pregnant….", "She's a high school student right?" I heard the doctors talking. I tried to speak. "How's my baby?"I said. The doctors couldn't answer. "How's my baby?"I repeated. "Please calm down, don't panic, we're examining your child. "one of the doctors said. I cried and cried because my child might not survive. "You're still unstable, but the baby's fine. "the doctor said. I calmed but still tears are pouring into my eyes.
The next day my dad fetched me home. As I walked with emotionless expression, my mom hugged me tightly. "Saiya, what happened to you?"She said. "No…thing…"I said, staring at the floor. I never went to school for about a month. I can't show my face in school because I know the news spreads quickly. Bad rumors might drop my good position down. And especially, I can't face Kyou. I took care of my child for the whole year until gave birth.
It's my 4th year of high school, and my child is a year old. I came back to school with an unusual expression. People stare at me and whisper behind my back. My mom takes care of my baby boy, Shouji. Along the way, I saw an old friend, Tsuki Kawashima and I tried to her. But she just nodded down and said, "Sorry." And run away from me. Everybody went away when I'm trying talk with them. Then I saw Kyou, still famous, still playboy. I can't forget about how he dumped me and stepped on me. For now, guilt and sadness compresses my heart, but still, shoujin reminds me that I have loved his father. Suddenly he looked at me, he took a step towards me and greeted me, "How are you?"... I didn't say a word. I didn't even looked in his eyes. "Well… how's your baby?"he asked. "You don't have the right to ask that, you didn't do your obligation as his father."I said. "O-okay.. ummm… can I see him?"he said. "No."I said quickly. "You would've killed him a long time ago, as you killed my heart deeply, you heartless bastard."I added. He paused for a moment, then knelted down at me…