Disclaimer: This is not a licensed parody. If it was, I'd be making money right now.
I'LL MAKE X-MEN OUT OF YOU (to the tune of "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" from Mulan)
(Scene opens on Logan and some New Recruits. Logan is barking orders, Bobby is eager, Jamie is terrified, Jubilation is looking annoyed, Rahne is looking determined, Ray is bored, and Sam is listening politely.)
Logan: (to Jubilation) Listen up, I'm in charge- and you're here to train.
If you think it's too hard, don't you dare complain!
(to Jamie) You're afraid because you're new to this
But I promise, before we're through
(to Group) Somehow I'll make X-Men out of you!
(to Bobby) Because you're a mutant you think you're special?
You are just a student who's learning a skill.
(to Ray) You're a useless kid who likes to shirk
when we've got some work to do
(to Group) Somehow I'll make X-Men out of you!
Jubilation: (crawling through obstacle course) This is gonna wreck my hair!
Jamie: (tripping and falling) Why do I feel like a reject?
Bobby: (pictures himself flying the Blackbird) Being an X-Man's so grand that I can't wait!
Ray: (stifling a yawn) It's not like I even care.
Rahne: (swimming as fast as she can in pool) I'll do anything for respect!
Sam: (running and gasping for air) I look forward to the day I graduate.
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You must learn how to control your powers.
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You'll hafta show me things that you've learned
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You're gonna need to practice for hours.
The rank of 'X-Man' is something that's earned!
(to Rahne) You enjoy a challenge, you don't care how tough.
Sure, you've got some spirit, but that's not enough!
(to Sam) You're a scrawny geek who's rather weak
But work hard and when I'm through
(to Group) Somehow I'll make X-Men out of you!
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You must learn how to control your powers.
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You'll hafta show me things that you've learned
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You're gonna need to practice for hours.
The rank of 'X-Man' is something that's earned!
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You must learn how to control your powers.
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You'll hafta show me things that you've learned
Bobby, Jamie, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (cheer) Be X-Men!
Logan: (to Group) You're gonna need to practice for hours.
The rank of 'X-Man' is something that's earned!
(Logan stops singing. Jamie giggles.)
Logan: (snarls) What's so funny, Squirt?
Jamie: (laughs so hard he falls over and multiplies) Your singing.. it was funny..
Bobby, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (in unison) Yeah, it was awful!
Jamie: (quietly) No, that's not what I meant..
Logan: (*snikt* Out come the claws) I see. Alright then, you can all report to a special Danger Room session right NOW.
Ray: (angry) Way to go, Multiple.
Jamie 1: (hangs head) Sorry.
Jamie 2: (looks forlorn) I didn't mean to.
Jamie 3: (shuffles feet nervously) Besides, I only thought it was funny that Logan liked the same kind of music I do.
Logan: (faint trace of a smile) 'Zat so?
Jamies 1, 2, and 3: (nodding) Yes sir.
Logan: (thinks for a moment) Tell you what, Squirt. Why don'tcha skip the Danger Room today?
Jamies 1, 2, and 3: (surprised) You mean it?
Logan: (to Jamies) Yeah. Go tell Half-pint to rent some movies and I'll meet you two in the living room. (the other New Recruits stare. Logan turns to them and growls.) What are you still doing here? Didn't I call a Danger Room Session?!
Bobby, Jubilation, Rahne, Ray, Sam: (gulp) Yes sir.
(They run towards the mansion leaving behind Logan and the Jamies.)
Ray: (grumbles) How does that kid do it?
Bobby: (shrugs) I don't know, but I sure wish I did!
Jubilation: (wistfully) Me too.
Sam: (sighs) Another day, another disaster. We must as well just hurry up and get it over with.
Rahne: (happily) I like extended sessions. They give me more chance to prove myself!
Bobby, Jubilation, Ray, Sam: (shakes head) Oh, Rahne..
Rahne: (puzzled) What? What did I say?
THE END
Author's Note: This is my first all New Recruit songfic. I wrote it because people requested more songfics (including ones that didn't feature the BoM). I know it doesn't have every single New Mutant but the ones it does have I thought were captured pretty well and it was fun to write. Of course what really matters is what the readers think, so please review! =^-^=