You Will Always Be My Star

All wrapped in red, white and blue. You really look gracious today my dear.

I'll never forget that suit you wore, how handsome you looked. You were a picture, a picture oh so perfect to me. The flower in your pocket and the way you looked at me. I wonder if your heart skipped as much as mine did? You looked truly handsome.

I always knew that fashion wasn't your strong point but it didn't matter, it never mattered to me. I loved that your mom would come home and you would just wear what she bought you. I always liked that you accepted mine too. I always kept to what you liked because I never wanted to ruin you. The way you never wanted to ruin me.

It feels silly, looking back at that catsuit I wore, the way you were swooned by it but, the moment you saw it all come together, you didn't understand, you didn't want that. The girl with the mask, you wanted me. It made me cry but, in time I grew to know, you wanted the real me. It had always been hard, I was never accepted but you, you always did. From the first day of school, you always noticed me, but I never knew, until that day. I realised, it was always you. When the slushies would stop, when the girls left their remarks in the bathroom stalls, it was you, telling them to stop.

From these distant memories, I am filled with regret, I wish we had done it there, right then in that moment, but we were blocked. As always the world was against us and we never got that far. Though, admittedly at the time what we did was right. I wasn't going to be the fool, to make them fake a smile with the absence of one. We were a team, a team that grew further from enemies and closer as friends. If a man was down, we would not run and be every man. We would be the man, or women of course, and take it for the team.

We missed out but we should have, but you shouldn't. It will always replay in my mind, the happy faces, a mere blur and you. You. As the train door closed and I took my seat, I didn't want to look. My eyes were swollen, filled with the ocean. It broke my heart, the way you looked and as you ran. I wanted you there, to be by my side, to share this joy but you didn't, but you could have.

The time no I am standing, but barely. My hands are shaking, this walk will be the hardest. They are behind me, watching me. Making sure I don't fall, don't worry I'm safe. I was glad for the mere bonding, and that time when we were reunited, things had changed from that first time, the awkwardness. I know why, they were against it, never us but it. I still wish for it but now I understand, maybe it was, but as I stare at you, the way you are, I look back and see. We all wished for it I am replaying everything I can remember over and ahead I can see the destination, I know I'm not ready, but I have to be. I need you to be proud. You always had it, pride, that's why we are here. I never had it. I was just confident, confident because I knew I was good, good at singing and performing, everything else, I was just like you but no pride. But I'm so proud of you.

Not a cloud In the sky, I wished for rain, it would mask the way I feel and the tears that are streaming. The sky is blue, but I know that it is you. You wished for this, you wished to see me, maybe not with these eyes but, you wanted to see me clear.

It is beautiful, all dressed in navy and white, in canon they march. I am so proud of the boys, they are holding you tight. I'm glad we had the connection, Kurt has been amazing, such a saint but we both collapsed. I know he is proud, but he will always wonder what we wished we could have done. I tried to stop you but I was weak, I couldn't win.

I'm glad that we won, the battle you fought you wear it with pride, I apologise I was selfish and upon me is yours. That medal of honour, I know inside you always wanted his, you wore his heart on your heart, though you never remember, when they bear in sync, when once so small he held you so tight, you were his man. You are the man.

The silence is eerie, I want it to stop, I wish to hear you laugh or at least see your smile. We reach our seats and you are placed just still. I shiver and quiver and a tear feels the chill. I hold onto hands, I need it to be yours, but look at me baby, I'm trying but you made this so hard.

There he descends, he says thus a prayer, I'm struggling now, it is perfect, it is you. Your mother was perfect, she wrote every word, with a hand from the father, I believed every word. I know our religions were different, believe me I would have rather it were Hebrew, catching just bits and not hearing these words. I can't help but breakdown just a little.

The picture beside you, you look so handsome, I've requested to keep it once it is over, it's the last formal picture you had taken they tell me. You look so proud, so happy so handsome, I wished I was there.

Time passes, words are exchanged, your mother and grand parents shake me, it is Kurt's turn, It kills me. Your brother is so strong, I'm so proud too to call him my friend. We are lucky my love, to be around such people, I'm glad the way that, that started was so different to what it is now.

It is my turn and I feel the quiver, as I reach the podium I stand and I wither. I don't think I can make it but here it goes, something from my heart, no from my soul.

I'll never forget the day we met, that hallway exchange as our eyes did met. I was too shy too nervous, I wasn't the most popular, and you belonged to another. I couldn't it was wrong but as time went by, despsite how hard it was we belonged together. Every moment I spent with you truly were the best, you helped me grow stronger and made me feel like that best. I didn't stop, I rose and I took it, like every time it was my stage time you told me I could do it and I did , I always nailed it. You gave me confidence, the song I wrote I cried so hard, thinking of you, it will always be my favourite and I am glad you saw that we were meant to be. I'll never care for us losing that national championship, I just wished we could have shared more moments like that. Empire state, central park, the boats to the liberty and even on Broadway. I wished you could have been there. I am so proud of you, my knight in shining armour, you avenged and showed the world that the Hudson's are not to be reckoned with. I am so proud of you and to save your troupes lives is truly the greatest honour, it is a shame that you are not stood with them today. I love you, I always will, life will be hard without you but I shall try, I'll do it for you. I'll never forget you my love, you are and always will be my solider.

I cry and break down, my fathers they take me back, I don't want you to go, I don't want you to leave, and now with your colleagues and prayers I want to run and just leave. The music is ambient and peaceful, it isn't you, I wanted drums loud drums, beating so hard just like when you did a number with Puck. You were always so talented, I wish you had stuck with it, got into a band and travelled the world. I would have missed you, I would have ached for you but I would have never had fear. Now I've lost you. I'm broken.

The lower you down, this is your final call, I want this to be over. I wish this was a dream, I wish this was a lie, I don't want you gone my love, what shall I do? I know I'm on Broadway, small parts here and there, maybe I will do what I aimed for, just focus, no love, just the game.

I will win it, it will be for you, that tony I dreamt of. I will speak out your name, I will make them remember you, I will make it known, I will campaign to help others like myself and your friends who are unable to walk.

I miss you my dear, I miss you my love, I scattered the mood over you and I wish you all the luck. I will meet you again in time, I will have aged gone grey and look so not your type, at least you'll never grow old, you'll always look so handsome and fine, but I would have loved you anyways.

Finn Hudson, you will always be my star.