This was an idea that had been floating around in my head since the last book came out. My friends and I were discussing what would happen to Voldemort prior to reading the book and we concluded that quite clearly he set up his own chat show:D This is the result:P

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry potter.

Prologue

Voldemort closed his snake like eyes and rubbed his temples as he tried to sedate his anger without the use of spells. How had it come to this? What had happened to make him fall so far? He had once been one of the greatest – no, he would blow his own trumpet and say he had been the greatest wizard in all of existence. So how had he ended up here? About as magical as the muggle-made paperweight sitting on his desk and those spells he could still perform were about as powerful as they would be to a squib, which is not at all. Well, that may have the slightest of exaggerations built into it. He could still use his wingardium leviosa like the best of them but the real good spells, like his three curses would never be what they used to.

"Avada Kedavra!" He cried, whipping out his wand and aiming the killing curse at the fly which had landed on his mirror. The effect was so great the fly flitted its wings indignantly and took flight again. Voldemort grumbled incoherently. It wasn't a matter of wherehe'd gone wrong, it was who had gone wrong and that answer was perfectly obvious. Things had gone wrong twenty-five years ago when a boy named Harry Potter had been born into the world and in turn had been the death of him: literally. Even still he loathed the boy – or man as he now was – so much if he had one last ounce of strength left in him he would use it to completely annihilate the boy beyond recognition to even his spouse.

Things just weren't fair. His plan had been flawless if it hadn't been for traitors like that Snape who had led him on believing he could be trusted and at the crucial moment stabbed him in the back with a golden wand. Fool! He had gotten his just deserts in the form of a death which had been perfectly justifiable. And then again Potter had turned up to try and ruin things for him and that cretin had succeeded too!

There was a knock on his door and the familiar voice of Larry, the tech guy, chimed through it. "On in ten, sir!"

The muscles on his face twitched as he listened to the chubby mudblood plod away to inform his guests of their expected air time. It wasn't just Larry. It was everything. He had been so close to overtaking the wizarding world. So close. And now instead of overtaking the Ministry of Magic his new aim in life had to be to overtake the ratings of BBC Wizard's ten o'clock 'Aurors in Action'. To add insult to injury, his slot had only been a half hour in length, not even the full hour that most chat show hosts got to have. One day he would cast doom on them all. Still, he knew that he should be grateful for the vast sum of money he was set to earn just for doing a seven week stint of episodes, during which he would try to get as many followers as possible and then maybe, just maybe, he could find some way to become as respected and revered as he once had been.

With a grim smile, he left his dressing room and walked down the corridor and onto the stage where his audience were already waiting for him.

It was show time.

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jellybean-kitty