Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone from Labyrinth (except the Goblin King because I caught him and tattooed Property of B. the Human Hobbit on his butt in invisible ink ;) )
B. the Human Hobbit
I'm Not Crazy
Hi. I'm Sarah Marie Williams and I'm not crazy. For the last three years my parents, doctors,
and old friends, all think I'm nuts! I know you think I'm crazy too, but just because they put me in this
hospital does not prove anything. Oh, you want to start the evaluation now? Okay. Say, you look
awfully familiar: blond hair and funny eyes. Where have I seen those before? Too bad this window is
so murky.
Alright, alright! Damn. Here's what happened.
I had been having a really bad week: failing Algebra and Chemistry, my best friend was being a
bitch, and, I was on my rag. All of that was bad enough but my brother was teething so he cried all the
time. You have to agree that sucks, right?
So Friday I went to the park to relax and read my favorite book, Labyrinth. Unfortunately, I forgot I was supposed to be watching Toby for Daddy and Karen that night. By the time I remembered and got home, I was late and Karen was pissed. And it was raining; perfect ending for a perfect day. Except it wasn't over, not by a long shot.
You know your voice sounds familiar too, kind of like --- fine! I'll finish the story. No need to be rude.
Where was I? Oh yes, raining, thanks. When they left, Toby started crying and wouldn't stop. It was driving me crazy! Oh, the irony. Anyway, I was mad by that point and I said "I wish the goblins would take you away right now" and I walked out the room. I knew something was wrong then because Toby stopped crying.
Here is where the crazy starts. Just so you know. I know it will sound strange but it did happen. Right, back to the story.
I slowly walked back to the room and turned on the light. Tried to anyway, it wasn't working for some reason. There was something moving under the blanket so I lifted it but nothing was there. Toby was gone. Then there were little things moving all over in the shadows, snickering. Needless to say I was terrified. Lightning crashed and an owl appeared scratching the window. I looked away and suddenly a strange man was in the room. He was gorgeous and looked like a rock star. I knew instantly who he was. The Goblin King.
He told me that he had a gift for me and offered me a crystal that would show me my dreams. I was tempted to take it but I knew I had to get Toby back. I told him so and he told me to go play with my 'costumes and toys' as he put it. When I insisted on having my brother back, he made a portal to his lands and said I had thirteen hours to solve his labyrinth or he would turn my brother into a goblin. Yes, an ugly little goblin. You heard correctly.
So I began my journey by walking down the hill to the gates of the labyrinth. Unfortunately there was no door. Or so I assumed as I didn't see one. So I looked around and I noticed this ugly little man spraying fairies with an insecticide bottle. Or would it have been a fairycide bottle? Whatever. So I picked up one of the fairies to see if it was hurt and the little bitch bit me! I thought fairies did nice things, like granting wishes. Hoggle said I didn't know much if I thought that. Hoggle is the little ugly man by the way. He's a dwarf. He got me into the labyrinth and I started walking left. I walked for a while but it went of forever so I ran 'til I heard a voice saying 'ello. It came from the most adorable little blue fuzzy worm that ever lived. He didn't say his name so I'll just call him Fred.
Fred was nice; asked me in for a cup of tea and everything. Well anyway, I told him that I couldn't find any turns, it just went on and on. Then Fred showed me the invisible openings, they looked just like part of the wall. As I began to go left, he said I should go the other way because no one ever goes left. I wonder what would have happened if I had gone that way.
Oh, is the hour up? Alright then. See you, or rather talk to you, tomorrow.
A/N: Ok. This probably sucks but this is my first fanfic ever. And I'm not just saying that like some people do so you'll take pity on them. For real. This should only take one or two more chapters. I promise this will get better.
B. the Human Hobbit