Someone said I should try another Cam fic. So I came up with this oneshot while thinking of ideas for iPlay. Enjoy.
iCall
Ring.
Ring.
"Hello?"
"Shit, I woke you up, didn't I? Well, I'll call back--"
"No, no, it's okay Sam. What's bothering you?"
"I, uh, I -- couldn't sleep."
"So, what's on your mind?"
Pause.
"Remember a while back I told you I kept on having these weird nightmares?"
"Yea, I remember that."
"Well, I stopped having them about three or so months ago."
"Well that's good. What do you dream about now?"
"I've been having the same dream every night for a few weeks now."
"Talk to me about it."
"I'm walking on a bridge...a high one... with cars and people passing by on the side. It's not quite dark, yet not light enough to be daytime. There are people in front of me, but they separate and then I see her, off in the distance. It's weird, you know? She's riding a bike towards me."
"And then what happens?"
"Someone comes running up from behind her and knocks her off of the bridge...I can see her hands hanging onto the sides. I can picture her hanging off the side of the bridge. I start running to get to her, but either my legs won't move, or there are suddenly a ton of people in my way, standing between her and me... and I can't get to her."
"Do you ever get her in your dream?"
"Eventually, yea. But by the time I reach out to grab her hands, she always falls. Every time. I never get to her in time. Every night, I lose her."
"Has she been waiting for you to come to her?"
"Yes."
"And you haven't."
"No."
"You're scared."
"Yea."
"There are obstacles you need to get through."
"And if I don't get past those obstacles, I'll lose her forever. Right?"
"See, you don't me to tell you that."
"I do need you... everyone else hangs up on me when I call them at three in the morning."
"Three twenty-four, but who's counting?"
She lets out a soft chuckle. "You can bill me later.. you know, sometimes things are easier said than done."
"Are you afraid of what other people will think or say?"
"To some degree, yea. Our school is still a 'boys club' you know."
"Yea, I know what you mean. What else are you afraid of though?"
"Being discriminated against."
"Wha-- really?"
"It's hard being a woman in my family. Do you know the possible ramifications are in my family if you're a woman and gay?"
"Is that what you're really afraid of?"
"She says that I'm hard to read... that I don't let her in."
"You are hard to read. You internalize things. That's who you are and how you deal with emotions... do you want to let her in?"
"I -- I'm scared. There are a lot of dark thought and memories in my head."
"You haven't told her?"
"No, and I'm afraid she'll... look at me differently... afraid she won't want to be with somebody like me."
"And what is that?"
Pause.
"Damaged goods."
"Why do you think you are damaged goods?"
"I'm an unwanted child, every relationship I've been in has been abusive, physically and/or emotionally-- do I really need to make a list?"
"Do you think that if she knew more about your past, that it would be the only thing she will look at?"
"Yes... that is what I fear the most."
"Do you love her?"
Sigh.
"Like no one else before."
"What do you think your dream is telling you?"
"Face my fears or lose her forever."
"Uh huh... she's waiting for you Sam, but she won't wait forever if she doesn't know what she is waiting for."
"I know... and Freddie?"
"Yea?"
"Thanks."
"Any time."
Click. Click.
Pause.
Ring.
Ring.
"Hello?"
"Carly?"
"Yea, what's up?"
"Can I come over, I want to talk to you about something..."