Titel: The best gift

Pairing: Yumichika/Shuhei

Wordcount: Approx. 1500

Warnings: Language, relations between guys

Spoilers: None I can think of.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach! None of the characters I use are below the ages of consent in my story!

Summary: Yumichika hates birthdays, at least his own. He only gets older!

AN: Yumi's inner world and the avatar of his zanpakuto are what I think would likely be right. Tite Kubo hasn't shown us yet.

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Yumichika woke early. He felt terribly disturbed trying hard to figure out what had woken him. Everything seemed to be completely like it always was. He could hear Taicho's and Ikkaku's snoring from each their own room and the cute sounds of Yachiru mumbling in her dreams about catching big goldfishes.

Why had he woken up now? He lay there contemplating what could have woken him and couldn't for the life of him remember why he had this feeling of something urgent pressing inside him.

Suddenly he felt the pull of his zanpakuto and was steered towards the beautiful white gazebo in the park-like surroundings that was his inside world. The myriad of small mirrors adorning the trees glinted in the morning sun and sent sparkles everywhere. His zanpakuto, in it's normal peacock form, was waiting for him.

"Caw caw! Oh, so you are awake." His proud voice grated on Yumichika's nerves. "Would it not be better to get your beauty sleep? Ha ha."

The peacock changed it's colour at will, studying itself in the mirrored panels that formed the base of the gazebo.

Yumichika caught it's eyes in a mirror while he was adjusting his orange collar. "What do you want with me, you horrible creature? I vowed to stay away until you learn to cooperate with me. We will have bankai, you naughty, ugly bird."

The bird cocked it's head and shook it's outstretched tail feathers. It's colours changed again to something darker and more sinister looking. "I am less ugly than someone else present! Caw"

It's voice sounded proud and stuck-up and it used a tone that it knew infuriated Yumichika like nothing else.

The shinigami tried hard to suppress the urge to strangle the bird in front of him. The better choice was to simply ignore the crass creature and not be aggravated by it. "Why am I here?"

The bird changed to glorious golden colours and went closer to Yumichika. "Ha ha! To wish you a happy birthday, off course." He cocked his head and gloated. "You are getting older, again."

Yumichika lost all colour in his face. Not again. No, no, no. It could simply not be his birthday again. Oh, what he would have to endure.

The bird studied his feature and backed up a little. "Old and ugly. You don't look healthy like that." It croaked, looking smug at his partner. "Caw. Birthday and older. How will you look? Ha ha!"

He glared at the offending creature wanting the pompous, arrogant and annoying thing to drop dead. A stupid bird, a peacock! What had he done to deserve this. "Vile creature, be gone!"

As his mind descended, the bird caught his eye and winked. It winked!

Yumichika quickly began to loose all control. It could not be that time again. All his friends would gather, they would come swarming to cheer him and give him stupid and useless gifts. Never anything pleasing or aesthetic, always something horribly thoughtless or plain ugly.

Oh, he knew exactly what everyone would bring.

Ikkaku would get him all the sake he himself wanted to drink. Taicho would give him some time off from paperwork, and forget all about it the next day, and Yachiru, bless her heart, would make him some sort of drawing.

Iba and Renji would find some leftover things of theirs to pass on to him and Matsumoto would find something girly as a stupid joke. What he would have to endure.

He really wished he could close his eyes and skip this day and just wake refreshed tomorrow! Alas, it was not to be.

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Evening came and with it the party that he dreaded like nothing else. The whole division had spend the best part of the day getting the things together and decorating their main hall. Every time he had tried to sit anywhere to relax or do his nails, somebody would come along and tell him to move.

Even in his own room he would be disturbed because they needed all the available chairs they could find and the thing that really nailed the coffin shut was when Ikkaku had suggested that Yumichika couldn't wait because he was too exited! That had made him leave instantly cursing his friend in creative ways.

Later when Yachiru had come to get him, he had actually tried to protest but she had just grinned broadly and shunpo'ed him along at an amazing speed explaining at great lengths that this was his party!

Oh, lo and behold! What wonders they had performed on 11 division's main hall. They had pushed al the tables together, filled them with foods that goes well with drinking and a battalion of pitchers of sake.

All the chairs they had found were distributed in heaps along the walls so anyone wanting a seat could be nice and service him or herself.

Yes, there was a big banner with: HARPY BIRTDA YUMI! Someone always remembered to write him a great big banner on his birthday. Probably Ikkaku. The spelling looked just like his after having inhaled half a day's worth of sake. Why was it that no one else in this division could spell? In future he would write his banners himself!

There were balloons everywhere in a multitude of shapes and colours. How pretty it would have been in just one colour. They were apes with no artistic feeling.

And there were always the funny types, oh yes, the ones that had tied two round ones together with a long one. Oh yes. Male genitalia in orange, blue and green balloons. How life like and funny. Not!

The entertainment? Oh yes, you had to enjoy that. Renji and Matsumoto singing drunken songs in perfect disharmony with the young substitute snoring loudly on the floor next to Renji.

Ikkaku trying to teach his luck-luck dance to Kira and a bunch of other guys who, just as he could have predicted, ended up in a pile on the floor.

Renji's petite friend had brought her friends from the living world and Yachiru was pulling the pretty girl with the big, ah yeah, around to much astonished gazing from his fellow division members.

But her hair was beautiful, it really was. Why did she have to have such luscious and thick hair? It was almost obscene.

In the far corner Taicho was seated on the floor loudly trying to goad someone into fighting with him. Luckily enough all guests knew him and kept a low profile around him.

Ought he mention the refreshments? That was surely a sumptuous treat? Like every year it seemed that anything that could be stuffed with a filling and deep fried went well with lots of sake, at least according to Taicho. He himself hoped that he could find enough anti-acids to keep his stomach settled through the evening.

Oh, had he forgotten anything? Ah yes the gifts. As he had predicted Ikkaku had brought him sake, three cases to be exact, which would have been nice tomorrow when the division was surely completely dried out. Ah well.

Taicho had given him a week off and threatened him not to take it and Yachiro had drawn him a large picture with the predominant colour being red as in blood. It depicted Ikkaku and himself fighting some huge hollows and she was actually getting better at perspective. But why she always wanted loads of blood … only she knew.

Iba had given him a pair of used shades that was about four sizes to big, but he had to admit, that they did look cool. Renji had given him the most horrendous looking scarf, "Cause I know ya like purple." Yes, you big dope I do like that colour only not with big, pink rhombuses along the middle.

Inoue had knitted him a much bigger orange scarf that he actually liked and considered a very thoughtful gift and for once he did not feel ashamed by Matsumoto's gift of a pair of very small and flimsy panties with lacy edges and red hearts. He was quite sure that Shuhei would enjoy them.

Which reminded him that he had not yet seen his boyfriend. What could have happened?

A little later Shuhei came storming into the room looking scared and confused at the same time. He stopped abruptly to read the big banner and as comprehension sunk in he paled visibly, looking wildly about him.

Those who were still sober enough to notice the lieutenant saw him look as if about to faint as he approached the birthday boy.

"Erm … I'm so incredible sorry, Yumi. I forgot your Birthday."

Yumichika had tears of joy in his eyes as he gazed lovingly at the man in front of him. "You wonderful man. I love you!"

And then he threw himself into Shuhei's arms and kissed him like he would never let go. Shuhei had clearly expected some other reaction but gradually warmed to Yumichika's enthusiastic cuddling. "I love you too!"

When Yumichika returned to the division the next day, somewhat late and with a very pleased expression, he was greeted by Ikkaku. "Fuck, what a great birthday party! Man, why are yours always the best?"

Yumichika didn't reply. He was still enjoying thoughts of the best birthday gift ever!

END

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I really, really love Yumichika. In fact, if Tite Kubo had not invented him and given us this very narcissistic character, we would have had to invent him ourselves as he makes for good story material.