(A/N): Would you be surprised if I told you this had been sitting on my GoogleDocs for over two years? Like 80% percent of the entire story? Yup. Considering my horrible track record of incomplete fics, neither am I. And it's only, like, 3-4 chapters. I need to crunch out this baby and never look back. Damn you, my lazy inner editor.
Enjoy! Shameless fluff to the point of purple prose awaits us in the next segment. Hopefully tomorrow, or else shoot me.
Valentine Paper Heart
Chapter 1: First Crush, First Heartbreak
They say boys and girls can't have sleepovers together.
Yuna wonders if maybe they were right, because they can't stop kissing each other, touching each other, grinding against each other with unrestrained passion. Enveloped in darkness, save for a single lamplight set to low and the television screen flickering in silence, they embrace each other on her living room couch, reaching beneath all the clothes that separates them, exchanging impassioned wants and whispers.
It all started with a kind offer to walk her back home and his beautiful smile.
Yuna wrote a love letter in preparation for this day.
After many attempts and crumpled papers and embarrassing mantras of self-encouragement, she finally did it. Rikku and Paine were supportive, if not merciless in their teasing, and so she took their embarrassing jokes in stride, hyping herself for the moment she will present it to him.
Yuna arrived at school early tired and excited, having been too anxious to fall asleep last night. She poured her entire heart into this letter, utilizing hours of practiced calligraphy to enhance the romantic sentiment; shooing away the self-doubt that kept creeping up on her all morning. She couldn't think of any other way without endangering her heart; asking him out on a date or confessing her love, would that be considered moving too fast? What if he rejects her? What if he likes somebody else?
She sighs, lost in wistful reminiscence.
They used to ride the same bus to school in the morning. That's how they started talking; they went to the same school, and shared some of the same classes. Tidus liked to make people laugh, always acting out in good fun and getting into trouble with his friends while Yuna liked to play the role of the perfect student, always working hard, acting nice and polite, someone her parents could be proud of. They rarely crossed paths as a result, and then time passed by in a blink of an eye. His love for attention and competition naturally resulted in his dedication for the swim team, and where the rest of his free time went, she would find him on Facebook, posting pictures of himself and his friends at house parties and their latest misadventures. In the meantime, Yuna's grades and 4.0 GPA earned her a place amongst the honor roll while club activities and leadership duties took up the space where her social life should be.
Perhaps they didn't have much in common, and their time together always felt too short and bittersweet, but she fell for him all the same. His eyes were gorgeous and blue like the ocean, his smile bright like that of the sun, and his adorable, awkward laugh could lift anyone's spirits.
Yuna could only catch glimpses of him whenever they crossed paths in the hallway. They still smile and say hi to each other every now and again, and on the rare occasion they stole moments for small talk, she treasured their conversations the most. Watching him from afar, pining for him in silence, she wondered, always: 'Do you feel the same as I do for you?'
"Yuniiiieee!"
Someone tackled her from behind, nearly causing her to keel over from their petite weight. Yuna grinned, swerving to greet her affectionate cousin.
"Hey! You're bright and early for once." When Rikku stuck her tongue out in defiance, she giggled, looping an arm around hers to pull her in. "I'm guessing Uncle Cid lectured you on the 'evil temptations of man' again, didn't he?"
"Ugh! Don't get me started. He wouldn't shut up about the days of his youth and the 'loose' behavior of the new generation, ugh..." In the span of ten seconds, Rikku expressed her grim torture at the hands of her overprotective father in two groans, a pretty good indication of how the rest of her day will turn out for her mood. Yuna hoped Uncle Cid didn't end up ruining Valentine's Day for the averse-to-stupid-boys tomboy Rikku. Gippal would definitely be heartbroken. "Geez louise! The car ride felt so long, I seriously thought we were transported in the Twilight Zone―."
"What's this about the Twilight Zone?" Paine blindsided them from across the courtyard, arresting Yuna's other arm in a casual chokehold. "If we're talking about sitting down to marathon Stranger Things tonight, I'm down."
"No, we weren't talking about Stranger Things."
"But you know what, why not? Let's do it! It's not like we have any plans today with cute, icky boys."
Paine picked up on Yuna's conspicuous silence and proceeded to detach herself from her side, planting her heeled boots to face her in firm accusation. "Or do we?"
"Mm, maybe...?" Yuna trailed to a stop, back facing them as she clasped her hands, swaying her hips in poor restraint.
"Oh, Yunie, you can't. Girls night out!"
"Traitor."
"I-It's not what you think! That is, I don't have any plans. Er, not yet. I think."
"So..." Rikku cocked her head, squinting her green eyes in confusion. "You do or you don't? I'm confuzzled."
"It means she's ad-libbing." Paine shrugged, impassive.
"I haven't... confessed to him yet..." Yuna blushed, her ears burning red at the very tips. "So I don't know how he feels about me... yet..."
"Who?"
"You know who."
"Paine!" Yuna whirled around to glare at her punk goth friend, vindicated.
"Ooooh... Yeah, I remember!" Rikku's wicked grin grew wider than the Cheshire Cat. Spotting someone jogging up to them from behind Yuna's shoulder, she began humming in glee, skipping off in direction to her first class, but not before patting Yuna's arm in encouragement. "Good luck with that! Let's go Paine, or we're gonna be late~!"
"To what? Being on time?" Paine acquiesced despite her sarcastic tone, leaving Yuna to her fate.
"Wait, what― where are you all―?"
"Yuna!"
Her heart jumped to her throat, and she struggled to swallow.
In her head, the scenario couldn't have run any smoother. She would wait after school when they weren't pressured by the cheesy "Jaws" theme blaring through the intercom to rush to class, and then she would watch in bated anticipation as Tidus read through all that perfect, painstaking prose. Or if they crossed paths sooner and inspiration struck, she would give him the letter to read on his own time and wait for him to approach her, but of course he would find her before the school day even started. Alone. Abandoned by her friends.
"Yuna! Oh man, I'm glad I saw you. I wanted to ask you if you're busy later. I know you're usually busy with student council stuff..."
Her heart soared. Tidus, smiling at her. Tidus, asking her out. Tidus― Just Tidus. Her brain short-circuited, denying her the ability to react or speak. Until she remembered―
"Oh, um… I-I have tutoring in the library after school..." She faltered at the sight of his visible disappointment. "B-But! I am free afterwards."
"Oh. Cool! So, I'll see ya around?"
"Y-Yes! Maybe." She smiled, chastising herself.
'Did I sound too eager? Too cool? I have to be calm. Be calm. Be calm, my racing heart…'
"You've got my number, right?"
"Right! I mean, I do. Rikku, um, gave it to me… I-I hope you don't mind..."
"Of course, I don't mind!" He beamed, pumping his fist. At the sound of the bell, the spell broke between them, and Tidus panicked, jogging in place, calling out to her as he sprinted away. "Ack! Gotta go! See you~!"
She waved to him, smiling― lowering her hand over her throbbing heart.
Once the last school bell rang, she scurried out of class, unable to handle the anticipation throughout her entire day, anxiety tempting her to reconsider. 'What if this is too old-fashioned? What if he rejects me? What if―?'
But the moment she found him lounging outside the boys' locker room, chatting with some of his jock friends, she slowed her pace. Ah... There's Marphi, the girls' volleyball team captain, hovering by his side as usual. Yuna clutched her hands over her chest, feeling self-conscious. She wished she could be a part of his world. They would match each other laugh for laugh, even joke for joke in the midst of casual conversation, like the way he and Marphi were now, further festering the jealousy in her heart. And in the midst of their playful banter she straight up kissed him in front of all their jeering friends.
"I felt bad." She stuck her tongue out at him afterwards, sounding pleased of herself. "Because no one confessed their undying love to you, I thought you might like a kiss. You're welcome."
"I don't need your pity!" He shoved her, laughing despite his visible embarrassment.
And a pink envelope fluttered to the ground, unsigned.
'I'm such an idiot. What was I thinking…?'
Yuna lingers outside of the library, standing near the closed entrance sheltered from the rain. Annoyed by the sudden downpour that seems to reflect her mood, she sighs again, glaring at the drenched parking lot full of cars, resenting the fact she didn't take her own today. 'Can this day get any worse…?' She reconsiders contacting her parents to pick her up instead of taking the bus and walking the rest of the way home soaked and miserable (are her parents even home right now? what if they already left for their own plans?) until someone calls her name.
"Yuna? Are you waiting on a ride home?"
"Huh? Oh... hi, Baralai." She turns around, forcing the smile on her face. Even though they had just spent the last two hours sitting inside a stuffy library, solving headaches in the form of iambic pentameter, she welcomes his cordial presence all the same. "Um, no. I planned to walk home, but it suddenly started raining. So I was debating what to do..."
"I see." In the middle of unclasping his umbrella, he approaches her with a warm smile. Now standing beside her beneath the roof's edge, Baralai easily dwarfs her in height despite his humble carriage, resting the shaft of his open umbrella against his shoulder to twirl it in slow motion. "Good work today on your English passages, by the way. You're becoming much more adept at interpreting Shakespeare's language, although I couldn't help but notice your lack of focus."
"Thank you." She blushes, twirling a lock of her long hair. "And, ah, I'm sorry about that…"
"That's okay. We all have our bad days sometimes." His smile softens in sympathy, staying his hand. "I assumed your love letter didn't go well today."
"Yeah… No, I didn't even get the chance to―." Yuna freezes, covering her mouth in shock. "You knew? How did you―"
"Rikku told me, and advised that I be delicate with your 'fragile, maiden heart.'"
"Nosy…" She grumbles, directing all of her negative energy towards her gossiping cousin and hoping to God she does not broadcast that sad fact to the whole world. If need be, she can always collaborate with Paine to teach Rikku a lesson in delicate matters such as the trials and tribulations of love. His sympathetic voice anchors her back to the present, away from the hypothetical world of vengeance.
"If that was something you wanted to keep secret, then I apologize. Actually, I was considering ending our tutoring session early if you had plans with someone, but then you didn't say anything, so I wasn't sure."
"Oh, thank you. No, it's alright. Studying is important. I don't want to miss a single day, especially when you're already busy enough as it is." She smiles, berating herself for her lack of nerve. If only she had spoken up, perhaps asserted herself, Baralai would have understood and made an exception. Why didn't she risk the chance? Yuna sighs, disappointed at herself. In the conspicuous silence that falls between them, she glances in his direction, startled to find him gazing out into the distance. Unable to pinpoint what could possibly occupy his attention, she wonders if he must be grappling with his thoughts.
"...Er, um, a-am I keeping you?"
"Oh no, you're not. I was thinking… if you're not in a hurry to head home, would you like me to treat you to Starbucks? Or Rin's Diner, if you're hungry― in spirit of Valentine's Day," Baralai says as an afterthought, smiling, amused by her look of shock. "You've been working really hard these past several weeks, I wanted to reward you."
Her face flares scarlet, and she stammers. "It's very kind of you to offer! But I-I don't want to impose…"
"The way I see it, I'm the one imposing on you. But if you're uncomfortable seeing this as a date, then… Well, think of it as a friendly outing between two people of the opposite gender. What do you say? I promise to walk you home afterwards."
His soft-spoken charm proves too impossible to resist, and Yuna concedes with a timid smile, desperate for some company to distract herself. This beat wallowing in her Valentine blues at home alone. "...okay. You win. But only because you have an umbrella." She smacks his arm in mock offense, which causes him to smile in good humor. "You're such a flatterer, you know that?"
"Flatterer?" Baralai laughs, offering his arm to her as they begin to walk. "I speak only the honest truth."
She slips her arm around his own, resting her hand in the crook of his elbow. Walking side by side like this, so close that they bump shoulders ― do they look like a couple to outside eyes? The thought makes her blush, and she ducks her head, hyper aware of the impression they make. "...um, does it bother you if we walk this close?"
"Hm? No, I'm not bothered by it at all. Although... I would prefer it if you walked closer to me, so that way no part of you is exposed to the rain. You don't mind, do you?"
"Th-Thank you… and um, no. I don't mind." She smiles, grateful, and peers up at him, impressed by his tall stature. He feels even taller just by standing next to him, the top of her head barely reaching his shoulder. Then again, being five-foot-three herself, a lot of people feel like giants in comparison, especially all those boys with their insane growth spurts and developing muscles. Does Baralai even play sports? She knows he does well enough in gym, as she sometimes will find him in Mr. Kinoc's gym class during her rare excursions outside of class, no doubt supervising the freshman as his TA. She always enjoyed watching him play, because he always looked to be enjoying himself, encouraging the younger and shy, more athletically-challenged students to play.
"What is it?"
She panics when Baralai catches her eye, too distracted by her reminiscing to feign innocence. "N-Nothing… just thinking how tall you are…"
"Ah. Is that so?" He pauses, seized by thought. And then he glances at her, curious. "Do you have a complex about your height? I never would have thought."
She shakes her head. "Not particularly. It's just… you feel a little intimidating, I guess…"
"Am I?" Baralai smiles a little, amused by her comment. "I'm not that tall. But... Well, I suppose I don't have any grievances about my height. Perhaps that is a good thing; one less thing to feel insecure about. Appearances are important for a lot of people, I noticed."
"Don't act so humble." Yuna smiles, poking fun at him in the politest tone she can muster. After all, she finds it impossible to believe Baralai acts this oblivious about his own metrosexual tendencies when he tidies his hair, using hair wax to maintain his long bangs, manicures his nails, irons his clothes, and even carries around chapstick and hand lotion on occasion to keep his skin from getting dry. He's super hygienic, and he does not even hide it. "You make it sound like you don't care about your looks, but that's not true. In fact, you're very conscious of your appearance."
"Touché. I do spend a lot of time grooming myself," he says, thoughtful, and then he chuckles, caught guilty in her teasing. "Thank goodness I don't grow my hair out any longer than it is, or else I would never be ready to leave in the morning."
Yuna peers up at him with a small smile, drawn to his conversational ease. And then companionable silence falls between them. She appreciates the silence, though, after a long, exhausting day of riding an emotional rollercoaster. Her body feels heavy, already tired of dragging her feet through this unexpected gloomy downpour, but Baralai does not seem unimpeded by it in the least. Drawn to the sway of his confident strides, she draws closer to him, shivering in the cold.
"Thank you, for walking with me like this… I'm lucky you ran into me the way you did, because I really wasn't looking forward to walking home in this rain."
"You would have been even luckier if I had chosen to drive my car today. Could have saved us both the trouble."
"Oh, that's right, you have a car… Why didn't you drive today? Strapped for gas money?"
"Yes. I can only go so far on a monthly allowance."
"Same here. I have a car, too, but I generally drive it once or twice a week, if at all…" Yuna trails off, stewing the words in her head, not wanting to sound like a typical teenager complaining about her own parents. "My father's a little protective. Even with my license, he still feels nervous about me driving around on my own."
"I'm not surprised. Parents tend to be that way, but mine... Well, they like to practice the hands-off approach."
"The 'hands-off' approach? How so?"
"Well… I can go to parties and drink alcohol, or sleepover at my friends' house without permission, but I am expected to drive myself around. I can do whatever I please; that is, as long as I keep them informed about my whereabouts. If, for some non-emergency reason, I choose not to drive, I am expected to walk or ride the bus. You know, simple things like that."
"Wow, you're lucky. It sounds like your parents really trust you."
"That's one way of looking at it."
"Why else do you think they raise you like that?"
"To be honest, I always assumed they didn't care about what I did, so I had to learn to do things on my own."
"Then, why do you always work hard at school? If not for your parents' approval…"
"What do you mean 'why?'" Baralai gives her a knowing smile, amused by her curiosity. "I happen to like what I do. Studying and exercising are just two of my many hobbies. Although Gippal prefers to call them my masochistic obsessions." Baralai pauses, curious of her pensive silence. "What about you? Is the reason you work so hard because of your parents?"
"Ah, yes... I guess you can say that. I don't want them to be ashamed of me..."
"That's not a bad motivator, but it makes me wonder what you want for yourself," he says, leaving the conversation at that.
Yuna blinks, averting her eyes, the wave of annoyance delayed by her confusion. His words unnerved her. Why would he... Of course she knew what she wanted! Why would he assume she would be― half-hearted? Indecisive? What did he mean exactly? The enigma oozing from the echo of his last remark haunts her for the rest of their fifteen minute walk, until they eventually arrive at the popular hangout for after-school lunch.
They find the entire place packed to the brim even before they walk in, as a considerably long line crowds the foyer, almost blocking the entrance. As Baralai lowers his umbrella to shake it free of water outside for a moment, Yuna approaches the hostess at the front, wedging in between two loitering groups to stand within speaking range.
"Good evening. Table for two, please?"
"Okay. Name, please."
"Baralai." He speaks up from beside her, startling her with his sudden proximity.
This feels an awful lot like a date, and Yuna can't shake the blush from her cheeks. Hopefully she can attribute her redness to the chill outside.
"You will have to wait ten or fifteen minutes. Maybe even half an hour the latest. I apologize for the inconvenience."
"That's quite alright. We can wait." Baralai smiles, receiving the alarm device that she hands to him.
Yuna catches the way the hostess stares at him, dazzled by his smile, and she giggles, earning a curious look from him as he turns to face her. She never felt so proud for having such an attractive male friend, and she wants to savor the feeling for as long as the day permits her to. And then she yelps, startled by his grip on her arm when he moves fast to pull her aside― just in time for a pushy waiter to pass through, escorting an impatient couple to their table.
"Let's wait outside. It's not as loud or stuffy, and we won't be in anyone's way."
"O-Okay…" She nods, eager to let him lead― anything to escape this bustling atmosphere. They sit down at a bench situated off to the leeward side of the building, sheltered beneath the edge of the roof where they can wait in relative dryness.
"This isn't so bad…" Yuna sighs with a smile, surveying the rain-drenched parking lot.
"I imagine everywhere is packed like this, since it's raining."
"...by any chance, did you have any plans today?"
"Me?" He looks at her, confused.
She nods. "I mean, did you have someone in mind to spend the day with? What would you be doing if we didn't set off to eat together?"
"That's a good question." He hums, averting his eyes, his tan cheeks tinged pink in a rare moment of bashfulness. "You make it sound like I would much rather be anywhere else, even though I chose to be with you. You don't think I want to be here with you?"
She stares, flabbergasted by his roundabout response. "No, that's not what I―."
"I know." He gives her an enigmatic smile. "I just didn't want you to think I'm here because I felt bad for you."
"I felt bad." Marphi sticks her tongue out at him, sounding pleased of herself. "Because no one confessed their undying love to you, I thought you might like a kiss. You're welcome."
"I'm here with you because I want to be."
His smile, his kindness ― they overshadow the wicked memory of Marphi's kiss despite the fact his earlier words sparked it, and Yuna averts her eyes, hoping he wouldn't catch her upset tears. She feels guilty for wanting to put Tidus in Baralai's place when they couldn't be any more different, and this hopeless comparison tears her apart.