Winter Break Blues

Camilla spent most of the winter break at home. There were massive snowstorms, so it made it hard for anyone in Toronto to get anywhere. It didn't matter to Camilla; she didn't want to be around anyone. She kept in touch with Alex, Paige, Ellie and even Hazel would text her from time to time. She wanted to keep her distance, at least until school started. She needed some time to herself, the breakup with Jay wasn't the only thing weighing on her mind. She kept staring at her mirror at her growing belly. She let out a long sigh. There was no way she could deny being pregnant now. She was in a world of confusion. She knew she had to tell someone, but she didn't know who to talk to. She wasn't ready for everyone to judge her or be disappointed in her for being pregnant at sixteen. She felt like an idiot for not using any protection, being a mother this young was not in her plan. She knew she was going to have to give up everything, her social life, spirit squad, everything, and she wasn't ready.

A knock on her door disrupted her thoughts.

"Come in!" Camilla yelled as she quickly covered herself with a sweater.

Jon opened the door with a smile.

"Hey Milla," He greeted. "You okay? You've been up here all day."

Camilla yet out a long sigh. She wasn't okay, not at all. She wanted to tell Jon everything, but she couldn't. She was afraid of his reaction.

"I'm fine. Just a little bored. Can't go anywhere with it snowing all the time."

"Yeah, that's true," Jon said as he sat on her bed. "It's clearing up, though."

"Yeah, I guess," Camilla answered wanting Jon to leave her alone.

"Some more mail came for you," He said as he handed her a letter. Camilla rolled her eyes. It was another letter from Jay, making this his second one. She read the first one he sent a few weeks ago and couldn't stop crying that night. There was no way she was going to forgive him for cheating. She wanted to get him out of her head and move on completely, but she knew she couldn't. She still loved him, and she is pregnant with his child.

"Toss it," She told Jon as she handed it back to him. "I don't want to read it."

Jon sighed, he was upset that Camilla was hurting. He was trying his best to cheer her up, but it seemed as though nothing will. It was not the best time to tell her that he has been working on Jay and Sean's case. He has his feelings about Jay cheating, but he liked Jay and considered him family. He was exactly like Jay when he was younger, but he was fortunate enough to turn his life around. He believes the same thing can happen with Jay if he could just give up some of his bad habits.

"Look, I know you're upset with him, and I get it, but it seems he's sorry, and I'm sure he would like to hear from you."

Camilla shook her head and wiped away a tear, "I don't want to talk to him. I don't even care about him being in jail. I'm done."

Jon snickered a little bit. He knew Camilla was lying about not caring. Camilla and Chloe were just alike when they are mad, stubborn as ever, and hard to forgive.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I cheated on Chloe?"

Camilla's scrunched her face in confusion. She wondered why he was telling her this.

"It happened when we first started dating," Jon continued. "We weren't serious. We were just getting to know each other, but it still wasn't right."

Camilla was still silent; she was still confused as to why he was telling her this.

"What I mean is, she forgave me and we worked things out. Look where we are now!"

"I'm sixteen years old. I'm not looking to get married," Camilla sneered.

"I know, I know," John began. "And if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, but when I look at you guys, you seem to be happy; that's worth giving a chance. He made a mistake; nobody's perfect Milla."

Camilla shrugged, Jon telling her that she should give Jay another chance is making her feel worse. She thought it was sweet of him to check on her and try to cheer her up, but she didn't want to hear it. Camilla just wanted to wallow in her sadness. She was still silent. She didn't have anything to say to him.

"Well," Jon began as he got up. "Chloe is still making dinner. It should be ready soon, just wanted to see if you were okay."

Camilla flipped her hair back, "Yeah, I'm all right."

Jon left her room and closed the door.

Camilla stared at the letter. She became conflicted; she wanted to open the letter, but she was still hurt. Him begging for forgiveness in jail is only going to make her feel worse. She put the letter on her desk, laid back in bed and continued to cry. She began to think about all of the good times she had with Jay; Sunday dinner with the family, seeing the latest Clown Academy movies, even to their passionate nights in bed. Although she was angry, she truly missed him. She looked at her messy nightstand at some of the items he left there. One of his many hats, his headphones, and sunglasses and a few other things. The angry side of her wanted to throw them away, but the sentimental side of her decided to keep them. She stared hard at the pictures of them they took in a photo booth at the mall and began to cry even more. It was hard to keep her composure, one minute she hated him and wanted him to suffer in jail, but the next minute she wished he was here so she can hold him and kiss him all night. She continued wiping endless tears. She was completely overwhelmed with emotions. Thinking about the pregnancy and trying to sort out her feelings for Jay.

"Lights out!" The correction officer yelled as he shut the lights off on the cell block. Jay laid on his bed which was less than comfortable. It was like sleeping on the floor itself. He wanted to get out of this place so bad. He would rather be at home begging for Camilla's forgiveness and dealing with her wrath than to be here in jail. Getting in a fight with that douchebag over Oxycontin was not worth it. The downside of selling drugs, not all of the clientele have the money and sometimes a lesson needed to be taught. He was incredibly grateful that Jon was helping him with his case even though he cheated on Camilla. It gave him a little bit of optimism, but he wished the process wasn't so long. Being locked up in this tiny cell was getting the best of him. The four walls felt like they were closing in on him.

He reread the letter that he received from Alex a few days ago. She was going on about her relationship with Paige which bored him a bit, but he panicked a bit when she mentioned Camilla. She said some things about her that had him worried. He was hoping Camilla would read the second letter he sent to her. He wasn't sure that would happen because it was evident she didn't read the first one. He wasn't surprised; she was still angry, and she had every right to be. He wanted her to know how sorry he was and that he would do anything to get a second chance, especially if what Alex said is true.

He began to think about Sean too. He hasn't seen him since they were arrested that night. Unfortunately, they are in different cell blocks which made being in this place even more challenging. He felt bad for dragging him into this mess when they both already had a record. Sean's was more extensive than Jay's so it may be a little difficult to get him out. Jay began to feel bad. Sean was loyal to a fault and always had his back. He started to feel like he was the scumbag that everyone says he is. He ruined the two lives of the people who cared about him no matter what and nothing about that felt right. Jay tried to get comfortable in his bed and lay awake. He had too much on his mind to sleep, not that he could. He wasn't comfortable; he wanted to be in the arms of the ones he loves more than anything.