Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…Boo Hoo.
"He He, you want this cookie, yes?" Orochimaru teased, "You really, really want this cookie?"
"No. Stupid."
"Are you sure you don't want this cookie?" Orochimaru giggled.
"YES."
"Aww…But I know you want this cookie! Don't you sweetie-kun, Don't you! Don't you?" Orochimaru cooed, waving the triple chocolate chip wonder in front of 'Sweetie-kun's' face, the freshly-baked aroma drifting into Sasuke's nostrils.
"No! I hate sweet things!"
"But my dear little Sweetie-kun…" Orochimaru moaned as the raven haired boy swatted his cookie-holding hand away from his face, "Sweetie-kun?"
"Shuddup, freakin' idiot." Sasuke muttered, averting his gaze from the pale snake-dude's face.
"Sweetie-kun?"
"Don't call me that!"
"But Sweetie-kun…" Orochimaru trailed off, hand reaching for Sasuke.
"FREAKING GET OFF!" Sasuke yelled, smacking Orochimaru's hand off his ass.
"Okay, okay…" Orochimaru rolled his eyes, "Gorgeous-kun- Yeowch!" He screamed as Sasuke punched his face in, even though it popped back out like rubber.
"I'M SASUKE FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!" The Uchiha exclaimed, thrusting his fists up threateningly.
"Sasuke-kun…you want this cookie?"
"…"
"S-Sasuke!"
"…"
"OH MY GOD! SASUKE SPEAK TO MEEEEEE! DON'T IGNORE ME!"
"…" Sasuke grunted and closed his eyes irritatedly.
"OH MY GOD! I KILLED SASUKE! OH NO MY POOR LITTLE SASUKE!"
"…"
"I know! I'll give you the kiss of life!" Orochimaru cackled leaning over to Sasuke, lips puckered and fish-like.
Sasuke's eyes shot open upon hearing this and he tried to push the Sannin away, but he was too strong, Sasuke dived out of the way and Orochimaru went flying into the wall.
BOOM! MWAH! MUSHROOM CLOUD!
'Phew' Sasuke thought, Orochimaru's kissy-face scared him more than seeing his family get massacred.
Orochimaru pulled himself out of the junk heap, dusted himself off casually and sat back down next to Sasuke.
"…"
"Sasuke…so does that man you don't want this cookie?"
"Hn…"
"Sasuke…Sasuke…SasukeSasukeSasukeSasukeSasuke-"
"ShaddupShaddupShaddupShaddupShaddup! SHADDUP!" Sasuke screamed, Orochimaru huddled in the corner as Sasuke approached him like a monster.
"…C-cookie?…"
Sasuke snatched the cookie off him.
"YOU WANT COOKIE! YOU WANT COOKIE! I'LL SHOW YOU COOKIE!" Sasuke cackled dementedly.
"Um…S-Sasuke…I don't really think that's n-necessary…" Orochimaru whimpered, cornered like a mouse.
"EAT COOKIE BASTARD!" Sasuke screamed shoving the cookie into Orochimaru's face viciously.
"MMPFH! MMPFGH!" Orochimaru choked.
"EAT THISSS!" Sasuke yelled ripping off his clothes.
CENSORED
…Still censored…
Okay…
"Gargh! I HATE COOKIES!" Sasuke howled, running through Konoha, destroying all the bakeries.
"I wasn't 'cough' going to 'cough' give it to you anyways…" Orochimaru spluttered, face full of cookie and Sasuke's toe fungus…ha ha…it was so horrific, I had to censor it out so you wouldn't get nightmares, anyways the fungus was so strong that he died.
Sasuke ran past chasing Iruka with a deranged look on his face, eyes red, but it wasn't sharingan, Iruka holding a tray of homemade cookies.
There was a loud crash, scream and kaboom and a few seconds later, Sasuke could be heard laughing in crazed triumph.
Sasuke calmed down and stopped to sit at Ichikaru's, Naruto ran up to Sasuke, a small paper bag in his hands.
"Hey Sasuke-teme! Do you want a cookie!"
Owari O.O
OMG! THE RULERS WORK AGAIN! WUHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!