Hey guys got a new story again :) please read and review I would much appreciate it. I'll try and update a better place sometime soon but I can't figure out what I want to do with it. So this story starts at the beginning of Shadow Kiss. I hope you all enjoy it and please review love always KissesInTheDark95 xx

I could feel my fear and sadness all over again like the actual day. It felt like I was reliving this very moment all over again just like that day but I couldn't escape this nightmare.

"Get out of here!" I could hear myself yelling at Mason as he walked further into the room and out of the safety of the sunlight. The final fleck of sunlight gleaming off the tips of his hair as ignored me taking the few final steps out of safety coming towards me, coming to face Isaiah.

And then it happened all over again I was forced to watch in horror as Isaiah snapped Mason's neck and threw him to the side like he was nothing. His unresponsive eyes staring up at me taunting me as if saying 'you did this to me, you killed me!' Only this time though Mason did stand up pointing an accusing finger at me.

"You let me die Rose! You killed me! Now this time you're going to die too." He yelled at me before falling back to his position on the floor only this time he had a slight smirk upon his face.

I looked around confused waiting for Mia to explode the fish tank but it never happened not this time. All that happened was Elena held my arms behind my back and Isaiah coming closer to me with that evil look in his red eyes. He was done with his stupid speeches he was going to kill me this time, no hesitation no distractions. I looked over at Mason but he was dead just like he was in the real Spokane, face blank and eyes wide and unmoving.

"I will not make this pleasant for you little girl." Isaiah growled in my ear wrapping one hand around my neck and wove the other into my hair ripping my head back and exposing my neck. He beared his fangs and moved closer and closer to my neck.

I woke up sweating and panting when his fangs were millimetres away from my neck. I threw my blankets off and sat up, there was no way I was go back to bed after that nightmare. I stood up shaky legs feeling restless, sad and empty. I miss Mason and I still blame myself even when I'm unconscious. I shoved my feet into my slippers and left my room making dash for the bathroom at the end of the hall. I turned the cold tap on cupping my hands under the cool water and splashing it on my face. I looked up at the mirror, the reflection looking back at me had tangled hair, blood shot, and dark circles under them. I looked sleep deprived but I didn't want to go back to bed. Every night so far had been the same either a horrific nightmare or reliving the moment I lost Mason. Tonight I needed something to wake me up and shake away what I had seen.

I decided that I need to get out of the dorm. I snuck out the front past the moroi who was supposed to be watching and making sure that this exact situation didn't happen. The cold wind blasted me in the face reminding me of being on the ski hills with Mason but I welcomed it for now. I was a pleasant distraction from the nightmare, it reminded me of the happier time with him. The slush from the melting snow seeped through the cloth of my slippers but right now I couldn't bring myself to care. I walked around the side of my building towards the spot between it and the gym. It was 5pm the start of the vampire morning, the sun was just setting and sometime in the next three hours everyone will be waking up and getting themselves ready for the day.

Again I'd only gotten a maximum of four hours sleep, this was starting to become a recurring problem. I set down on the bench and tried to relax but I couldn't stop thinking about everything. I ran my hand across my wrists feeling the scars that were left from the burnt plastic of the flexi-cuffs. A constant reminder that my plan wasn't good enough, my guardian skills weren't good enough, and of how much of a terrible person I am leading someone on and evidently causing their death. I was deep in thought when someone sat down beside me. I was still fingering my scars when he spoke.

"None of this is your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself, you're worrying Lissa and all your friends not to mention how worried Dimitri is about you. Frankly Rosie you're starting to scare me." He paused for a minute. "You didn't even react to me calling you Rosie! Speak to me Rose we all just want to help you."

I just stared at him for a few moments. "You were there Christian! God you were trapped in that place with me, you were taunted by those monsters as well. I can't forget it and move on, I sure as fucking hell can't forgive myself, and don't say that it isn't my fault! If I hadn't of lead Mase on for those weeks before he wouldn't have felt the need to come back and save me!" I yelled and a few tears fell down my cheeks. I looked away from him and brushed them off my cheeks and began rubbing at my eyes. "What're you doing here anyway, shouldn't you be sleeping still?"

"So should you Rose, I woke up early and decided to go for a walk. Rose I might've been there but I wasn't there when he was killed, you really need to talk to someone about it they might be able to help."

"No one can help me!" With that I pushed up off the seat and stormed back to my dorm. I only realized how cold I was when I got back, I was shivering. I grabbed some clothes and went for a hot shower before heading back to the gym to meet Dimitri.