This is a story about Alfred. The butler. From Batman. Yeah…
Alfred was the seventy-something year old butler for the Wayne household. Bruce Wayne, the head of the house, always felt that Alfred did a wonderful job. Of course even if he didn't do his work well Bruce couldn't fire him. Alfred knew the secret location of the Bat Cave and the secret identity of Batman.
Batman was indeed his employer, Bruce Wayne, who entrusted Alfred with his livelihood and secrets.
Alfred, however, had a secret of his own that not even Bruce knew about. Alfred was in a band.
Not just any band, but the Blood Butlers, the most famous punk band in the world. And Alfred was the lead guitarist and vocalist.
One night Alfred pretended to go to bed early. He went up to his bedroom and changed into his skinny jeans and black vest. He then pulled on the black leather necklace he wore for good luck. His fingers clutched the silver comb on his dresser. He ran it through his jet black hair, backcombing it then fixing it into place with hairspray. Next came the black eyeliner, which he applied liberally around his eyes.
Once he was satisfied with his appearance he pulled on his dark red combat boots and crept downstairs.
Through the hallways, kitchen, dining room, lounge, and eventually into the study. He opened the hidden entrance to the Bat Cave and went down.
Alfred snuck out through the Bat Cave and headed straight for Madison Square Garden.
"Oy! Alfred's here!" Justine Collin called to the other band-mates. She played backup guitar and did some backup vocals. The others were huddled by the refreshment table. There was Edgar Arist, the drummer; Winston "Jeeves" Smith, the bass guitarist; and Niles Praiseworthy, on the keyboard.
The band looked up. Alfred walked in the door.
"Somebody a little late?" Jeeves said
"Nah, I decided to be a diva today," Alfred said. He then proceeded to stick his tongue out at Jeeves.
"Whatever, man, let's just rock their panties off," Niles said, walking toward the stage.
"Three encores! We were on fire tonight!" Justine yelled as they scrunched into a limo.
They dropped Alfred off in front of Wayne Manor he ran off to the entrance to the Bat Cave, where he found none other than Bruce Wayne himself.
"Hi, Alfred, wonderful evening tonight, isn't it?" Bruce said.
"Why, yes sir." Alfred stuttered.
"Now may I ask about your attire and… erm, makeup?" Bruce was holding back a laugh.
"I… I was… just… trying to-to-to…" Alfred stuttered.
"It's alright, Alfred. You know, Blood Butlers is my favorite band." Bruce said with a smile. "Don't worry, I'll keep your secret."
Bruce reached his hand out and caught Alfred's. They shook hands then turned to go inside for a well deserved night's sleep.