Wrong
By Misha
Disclaimer- I don't own any of the characters of "Instant Star" (if I did do you think she'd be fifteen?), I don't know who does, but it's not me and I'm not making any money off this, so don't sue me.
Author's Notes- More "Instant Star" fic. I know it's weird, but I can't help myself. This is the kick I'm on right now. This is a weird, third person fic centering around a Tommy/Jude relationship and set about a year down the road. I know that such a relationship is wrong, but I'm totally drawn to the pairing. Besides, it makes for interesting stories. Well, that's all for now, enjoy.
Pairing- Tommy/Jude.
Summery- He knows it's wrong, but he can't bring himself to get out.
Rating- PG-13
Tommy often scolds himself in private.
He knows what he's doing is stupid, not to mention illegal, but he can't stop it.
He'll watch Jude in the studio and tell himself that this'll be the night he ends it, but then she'll shoot him a secret smile and he knows that he won't be able to do it.
Not yet anyway.
He only thinks about how wrong it is, how stupid, when they're apart. Sometimes, when they're in the studio, surrounded by people, in their roles of producer and star, it hits him, but then he looks at her, hears her sing and the thought flees his mind.
When they're alone, it never even enters it. All he can think about is her. She's unlike anyone he's ever met before and she enchanted him almost from the beginning.
Her talent blows him away, so does her mind. She's not your typical pop star and that's why he's breaking all the rules.
The rules about not getting involved with another musician, the rules about not getting involved with someone he worked with, and especially the rules about not getting involved with a high schooler.
Not that he thinks of her as a high schooler. Not when she's singing. Not when she's posing for some photo school or doing some press gig. And certainly not when she's in his bed.
He knows that of all the mistakes he's made in his life, and he's made more than a few, that that was probably the worst, taking a fifteen year-old virgin to his bed.
She's sixteen now, and hasn't been a virgin in months, but that really doesn't matter. Though it is legal now, which is a relief, not that they'll go public.
Not that they could go public, not without too many consequences. They have to act normal, as if their relationship is strictly personal. Well almost strictly professional, with some friendship thrown in, because that would be impossible to hide.
Hell, it's hard enough to hide the other stuff, but they have to. So, they pretend in front of her parents, E.J and Georgia, her sister and friends.
The tabloids thought they were a couple from day one, so that's one almost easy. They just pretend that it's the same old tabloid junk and try to ignore the uneasiness they feel, wondering if this is the moment they're going to be exposed.
Tommy only worries about the consequences when he's not with her. It's hard to be realistic when she's there with him and he can touch her and feel her.
Of course, in public he can't do either of those things, he can only look at her and remember the feel of her mouth against his, the press of her body under his.
He has a hard time keeping it together, but he does his best. No one seems to suspect, which is good.
When they're in public, he watches her and knows that he was right. She's the real thing and she's going to be big, he just hopes that he doesn't ruin that for her.
He knows he's bad news for her. He's too old, the seven years between them were filled with stupid mistakes and life in the fast lane. He's tabloid fodder and has been since he was a kid.
He doesn't want that for her, he doesn't want to tarnish her in any way. He tells her that sometimes, when she's laying in his arms.
She just laughs and tells him that she doesn't care if her image is tarnished, she doesn't want to be the sweet girlie girl anyway, that's not her.
In public, to distract himself, Tommy often watches the others watching Jude.
E.J watches her with grudging admiration, Jude wasn't her choice, but she's growing on her. E.J can spot the real thing, though sometimes it would be hard to spot it, and she knows that it's Jude, even if she might not be the most marketable.
Sadie watches with envy, and a little hint of pride. She wishes that she was in the spotlight, but at sometime she's proud of her sister, even if she won't admit it.
The friend, Jamie, watches her the way Tommy wishes that he could. He's in love with her and she's oblivious.
Tommy feels bad and wonders if Jude would notice the boy if he wasn't in the picture. He's not sure and the idea leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
He's grown man with a failed marriage behind him, he shouldn't be interfering in teenage romance. He thinks, sometimes, that he should bow out, let Jamie have her.
It'd make more sense, Jamie's her age, he's been her friend for a long time. They could have a public romance, have all the things he, Tommy, can't give Jude.
He thinks about it, but he can't do it. Because the idea of giving her up, of never again receiving a smoldering look or tasting her sweet lips, is too much for him.
This whole thing spun out of control for him, he doesn't think he ever had a chance to resist it.
To resist her.
He resisted her that first time she kissed him, mainly because she caught off guard. Besides, at that moment, he still saw her as kid.
But in the weeks that followed, she shed that image and he began to see the woman inside the girl.
She has an old soul and a talented one. Her music, her being, it called to him. As he told Darius, she was nothing but mature when it came to her music and that maturity spread to the rest of her.
That was probably why he broke all his own rules.
One afternoon, as they were working on their music, it just happened, they kissed and the rest happened from there.
Part of him feels guilty, because he's helping her grow up too fast. It would happen anyway, it's inevitable in this world, but he's supposed to be protecting her, instead he's adding to her corruption.
Not that she sees it that ways. All she sees is that she wants him and that she got him. To her it's that simple.
She's starting to get that rock star arrogance, but on her it's charming. Of course, he thinks everything about her is charming. He's so far under her spell it's not funny.
Sometimes, after they're done in the studio she takes off with her friend or her sister. Other times, he offers to take her home later, making an excuse about the two of them needing to work on lyrics.
Since the beginning, that afternoon on the pier, they've done their best work outside of the studio, so no one questions it.
On those occasions, they do work on lyrics, but usually when they do, they're laying in his bed, their limbs tangled together.
They still work incredibly well together and some of their best stuff comes after they've made love. It comes from a raw place deep inside them.
He remembers when they first met, telling her that writing a song was like falling in love. It has to come from that place.
Perhaps, it was inevitable that somewhere along the line they fell in love too, partners in more than one sense.
He thinks about the change in her writing in the last year. At the beginning her stuff was good, but it was amateurish, innocent.
Now she writes from a whole different place and it's adds a depth to her work. The extra something that's going to make her one of the biggest names of all time.
He's afraid, sometimes, that other people will clue into it. Clue into the songs that she writes just for him, or to the new maturity of her music.
But so far no one has. So far, their secret is safe and their lies are believable.
He knows that eventually their luck will run out, but even fear of certain disaster isn't enough to make him get out.
When he's alone, away from her, he knows he has to end it. But when he's with her, he knows he isn't strong enough.
He can't get out, so all he can do is let it run it's course, even if it will destroy him in the end.
The End