Rating: K
Summary: Nights are the worst.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Shinobu Ohtaka.
Hello!
This is just self-indulgent because I'm in dire need of CassAli ;; Why is it so hard to find fics about them ;w;
One-shot: Never dream
Alibaba doesn't remember how sleeping well feels like. The first nights he made his own bed on the floor because he didn't want to sleep with Aladdin and Morgiana—and laying on the floor, curled around sheets reminded him of the past. He could almost feel the dirt and the cool breeze and the warmth coming from a family. Almost. He tries hard, so hard not to sob, not to cry, but the muffled screams still escape his throat. He screams for half the night, disturbing Aladdin and Morgiana who have to come and hug him because he's just—just pathetic and weak. He kept crying Cassim, Cassim, sorry, sorry Cassim, over and over, until he felt too tired to continue. Aladdin rubbed circles on his back and Morgiana held his hand but he barely remembered any of it.
In the mornings he wakes up with tiredness written all over his face. Aladdin and Morgiana were already up since he doesn't hear them in the room. He gazes out the window, where the clear blue sky of Sindria hangs above him, unlike the paler one in Balbadd that always makes him calm. In Sindria the sky feels different; its bright colors seem to tease him in a way that unsettles him.
He doesn't want to get up. He curls further into the sheets and closes his eyes, shutting himself from reality and waiting. He doesn't know what he is waiting for but he waits. Waits for sleep to come, waits for things to settle, waits for his head to clear. He just waits.
He must have dozed off when he hears someone enter the room because he jolts awake. His eyes land on Aladdin, bringing a plate of food and looking both sad and relieved.
"Alibaba-kun, you should eat," Aladdin says.
He sets the plate on the nearest table and sits on the bed, staring at a blank point on the wall. Alibaba sits up.
"I'm not hungry," he mumbles. His voice is hoarse.
"Take a few bites, at least," Aladdin indicates softly. "It's delicious."
Alibaba eyes the plate, and knows instantly that Aladdin isn't lying. But as tasty as it looks, he can't eat anything. He will likely throw it up, so why waste the food? He shakes his head.
"I really don't want to eat."
Aladdin softly sighs and finally looks at Alibaba. At that moment the prince of Balbadd notices how hollow his friend's eyes are, and he feels immensely selfish for thinking that he was the most miserable. He laughs bitterly, burying his head in his hands.
"Leave me alone, please," he chokes out.
He doesn't have the energy to confront everything right now; Aladdin must be upset that they couldn't save Balbadd, and Alibaba doesn't want to think about it. Not now. He feels weak and pathetic and knows he is. He doesn't think he can handle the situation. CassimCassimCassim—
Aladdin leaves quietly and Alibaba doesn't even notice in his sobbing.
Alibaba asks Jafar to get a separate room from the other two, and while Jafar wasn't really keen on accepting, he gave in. It seems that the three of them got their own room; now Alibaba doesn't need to worry about waking his friends up in the middle of the night because of his nightmares. Pathetic.
He just wishes he could grab that hand he sees from the sky. He feels light, as if the wind was carrying him, and he can actually see the rukh gathering around something—his body? It is at that moment his eyes deceive him; he watches as the white figure of Cassim walks away, not turning back and ignoring the screams coming from Alibaba. He's begging, begging, begging, talk to me, I'm sorry, Cassim please, I'm sorry, don't hate me!
Alibaba extends his arm but only grasps at thin air. His eyes snap open, his breathing is ragged, his heart hurts and beats too fast. He couldn't reach him. He didn't reach him. He never will.
His scream agonizingly echoes through the room.