Note: This takes place after episode 17 but before the introduction of Abare Killer.
Yukito was normally a sound sleeper, but in the days since the incident with his father he'd found himself with...nightmares. He couldn't remember them when he awoke, but he felt unsettled and unable to sleep further. It was aggravating for someone who prided himself on his strict self-control.
Slipping downstairs for some tea, he wasn't entirely surprised to find Asuka already there with a cup in hand. With a sigh, he nodded at the other man and went about making his own tea.
He intended to drink and go back upstairs but... "Have you slept at all?" he asked.
Asuka didn't even look up as he shook his head.
"You were being triggered all day, so that's what I'd expect."
That got Asuka's attention and he turned his head. "Trigger?"
"Hmm?" Yukito frowned, before realizing the problem. "Ah, we call what you have post-traumatic stress disorder. It's why you're having difficulty relaxing."
"There's...a name for it?"
Yukito shrugged. "You spent your whole life in a war zone and things that remind you of the war are going to trigger the disorder. PTSD happens all the time to people dealing with traumatic events."
Asuka put down his own cup with a clatter, his hands clearly shaking. "I'm not sure it makes me feel better to know many other people feel this way."
"It wasn't intended to make you feel better. It's just a fact." Drinking some tea, Yukito shrugged again. "I'm not here to make you feel better."
"No?" Asuka looked at him. "Then what are you doing?"
"Talking to you since I can't sleep. It was that or listen to the old man snore down the hall."
"You weren't trying to heal me?"
"No."
"You appear to actually believe that." Asuka turned in his chair to face him fully.
"It's true."
"Yet you became a healer?"
"I'm not a healer." Yukito scowled, pacing a few steps away. "I have some skill at manipulating people's minds and bodies and I figured out how I could make a great deal of money using that skill."
Asuka was frankly staring by this point.
"I'm not certain where everyone got the impression I'm a humanitarian. I'm closer to a sociopath."
Asuka shook his head, brows furrowed. "What is that?"
"Disregard for the feelings of others, a lack of remorse or shame, manipulative behavior, selfishness, and the ability to lie in order to achieve their goals." Yukito remembered that psychology class, reading the textbook and thinking he'd found an explanation for himself. He'd read it so often, he had it memorized. He was startled out of the memory by laughter.
Asuka was chuckling behind one hand and pointing at him with the other. "You almost fooled me."
"Fooled you?"
"You're an Abaranger risking your life for the world. I hardly think that means selfishness or disregard for the feelings of others."
Yukito blinked.
"If you meant that you're not comfortable with people, then that would be different." Asuka's laughter slowed. "Wait, you were not trying to be funny?"
"No." Yukito took a step back. "It's not funny at all."
"You truly believe that you're this person who, what did you say? Who has no remorse? Who lies to others?" Asuka continued slowly. "I didn't entirely understand when Ryoga spoke of your father and your childhood, but I think I'm beginning to."
Yukito whirled around, unwilling to see Asuka pitying him. "I'm not my father."
"I know."
Behind him, Yukito could hear Asuka stand up and walk closer. He managed not to flinch when a hand landed on his shoulder.
Asuka sighed. "Opening your heart can lead to being hurt, as you have learned. But you are not your father and you can learn how to be close to others. You're making progress."
"You've seen how I manipulate people," Yukito said quietly.
"For our own good? Yes, I've seen that. I saw you heal Bracchio and your former patient." Asuka's voice was calm and he squeezed Yukito's shoulder gently. "And despite your own worries, you were starting me on the path toward healing."
Shaking his head, Yukito swallowed. "I...I don't know."
"If you don't trust yourself, then trust me. You are not a...whatever the word was. You've already helped me, in fact."
"Hmm?" Yukito turned.
Asuka smiled at him, that broad friendly smile that Yukito envied. "You reminded me that I have friends here as well."
-end-
