No matter how hard he tried to push the ones he loved away, they always found a way back into his heart. Or she did anyway.

"Damon, stop trying to deny your feelings for her. Stop turning off your humanity. You want her, we all know it. I just wish you could admit it to yourself."

Oh, he had admitted it to himself... many times before. He would have never said it aloud though, not if it risked losing her. She deserved better, Stefan was better.

Rose continued on, not giving up. He just sat there in complete and utter awe of how easily she could study him. He was just a book and she found it so easy to read between the lines. Rose had been a great friend to him, the best he had ever really had. She knew how much Damon wanted Elena; he was in love with her. It was as simple as that, or so she thought. But Damon knew that Elena deserved the best and he never thought he was good enough.

As he had overheard Rose saying to Jeremy; "Damon is either the best thing for her or the worst".

But all he replayed in his mind was 'the worst'.

Plus, Elena would probably never forgive him after their last encounter. They hadn't spoken since, nor had they even made eye contact. She avoided coming to the boarding house when he was around, and after the first 17 dodged calls, he got the picture that she wasn't going to answer. He had lost hope, so Rose took it upon herself to try and force him to get back in contact with her.

"ROSE! Just stop. She doesn't want any part in my life anymore, and she certainly doesn't want me near her and Stefan's. I fucked up big time, I know. But I've tried to fix things... I really have. My name doesn't bring that blush to her face; her eyes don't light up the way they used to when I was in her presence. She loves Stefan; it's always going to be... Stefan. I lost my chance; it's time to move on".

Rose shuddered at the ice in his voice, the way his eyes went black at the mention of Stefan. She thought she saw some misery contort his face, but it quickly turned to hatred. She had tried, for months on end to get him out of this room... But nothing had seemed to work.

"Well I never took you to be the type that gave up like that Damon Salvatore, but just remember; I've got all my bets on you and Elena... I always will".

And with that, she was out of his room, before he could even open his mouth to mutter 'thanks'.

He decided to retrieve his phone from the leather jacket's pocket that hung tightly around his shoulders. Maybe Rose was right, it had been months! Elena couldn't possibly still hate him, could she? But even the slightest thought of the words brought torment to his mind. He had relived the rejection every day since that night, the hatred in her eyes, the screams.

"I hate him Stefan!" she had yelled, through sobs.

Damon had done the one thing Elena would never forgive him for... killed her brother. Damon had heard Stefan talking on the phone to Elena a few days after the incident, he heard her explain how Jeremy was still alive. They just didn't know why. But she still despised him for what could have been. Her baby brother was the only family she really had left, and to think he could have been gone just like that. Just because Damon couldn't handle his emotions... that's what played at Elena the most, and he knew that. He just could never bring himself to apologize for what happened that night.

As he scrolled down the contacts in his phone, Elena's name stood out at him. Damon pushed down on the green button and waited patiently. He hadn't even tried to reach her for a few months, and the rings of the phone seemed to be getting louder with each one. After the 4th dial, a delicate voice was heard on the other end; "hello".

It was her, it was Elena... she had picked up the phone. Damon's heart started racing and his breath quickly became short and heavy. "Hi, um... Elena?" was all he managed.

The reply came back, much more abrupt than previously, "Damon". He could hear the anger in her voice, the way she tried to keep it together just to divulge the name. It hurt him to think that after everything they had been through, this is what it had ended with. Elena, the one person he cared for most in this world, could barely even say his name aloud without a sudden rage filling her stomach. Butterflies had been replaced with moths, and happiness at the mention of him, replaced with tears.

It had been a long 15 seconds of silence, and counting, before Damon spoke up again. "I...I... Just wanted to see how you were doing, Elena." The name rolled of his tongue, easier than he remembered.

Elena had never heard Damon so vulnerable, the stumble of his words, the heavy breathing, but she just couldn't let herself show any remorse for him. What he did was unforgivable, and she had made that awfully clear... or so she thought.

"Damon just cut the small talk. I can't do this. I can't let you back in, because the second I do, my whole world will come tumbling down once again. We all make mistakes, we all have regrets but you have no guilt for what you did. You haven't even bothered to apologize..."

Elena was cut short by Damon's outburst of anger.

"You think I don't regret it, Elena? You think I don't sit up all day, every day and wish I could rewind and re-do that night. I regret it, more than anything I've ever done. The hurt in your eyes, the betrayal you felt towards me... that's what hurt most. You know what? I am so sorry for everything. I'm sorry that I couldn't hide the fact that I am so in love with you, it actually pains me".

Elena knew he loved her, but hearing him say it was something entirely different. He'd told her before, but not after what he did. Not after he killed Jeremy, or at least tried to.

"I'm sorry for even trying; I know you'll never forgive me. I understand that, I probably wouldn't either. Good-bye Elena".

"Wait Damon, stop." But it was too late, she was left with silence, he was already gone.