"I had several options when it came to controlling Subject Shadow. The first was a simple control chip, implanted in the brain, however, I felt that this would unduly limit both the Subject's ability and mental status. Therefore, I will instill in the Subject an extreme sense of honor and loyalty. By doing so, I hope to not make the Subject simply a slave to my demands, but a son of the family, by any other name a Knight of the family Robotnik." - Gerald A. Robotnik, private entry on the Shadow Project

Knight of Robotnik

Chapter 1: Babysitting Blues

Sonic T. Hedgehog was many things: fast, smart mouthed, egotistical, married to the queen of a parallel dimension. But the thing he was not, was a person capable of finding a good babysitter.

"Why couldn't you just leave him by himself?"

"Last time, I was only gone on a two-day trip. I came home to Espio at my front door with three different misdemeanor tickets, four receipts from the fire department, and twenty different neighbor complaints. The only reason I didn't wind up in court that day is because he still owed me one."

"Right, okay, leaving him at home himself is out. How about Cream's folks?"

"Would, but their going out of town too."

"Alright, how about Amy?"

"HA-HA-HA! Not a chance."

"Is she still on the whole 'seppeku' thing?"

"Yes."

"Okay, she's out. Don't the Chaotix still owe you a few?"

"I burnt my last favor on that last trip."

"Ouch. Alright, Knuckles?"

"Right, give a lunatic ten year old genius to the most gullible being in the universe."

"True. What about Rouge?"

"She's seven months in and still whipping Knux. Last place I would send him."

"Too true. Alright, Omega?"

"How many ways can you spell 'Spare Parts'?"

"Right. Well, who's left? Shade's still helping out GUN, so we can't ask her, and a post-apocalyptic wasteland isn't exactly prime babysitting territory, so Silver's out. Is there anyone else?"

"Well, Shadow still owes me."

"Shadow? Are you sure?"

"I'll talk to him. He's one of those guys you just have to ask."

When Shadow woke, he immediately felt a great disturbance in the universe. Had he woken up in the ARK again? No, the room was the one in his apartment that he was renting from Rouge. Had Rouge's child come early? No, he was sure that either Sonic or Rouge would have called him if that were the case. Had Eggman started another of his 'take over the world' campaigns? A look outside the window revealed that the skyline over Megatropolis was undisturbed. Had GUN staked out his apartment again? No, the selfsame look outside revealed no 'covert' black van, and no agents were within sight. That only left one real viable option, and he prayed he wasn't right.

There was a knock at his door. Shadow immediately went for his revolver.

"Yo, Shadow, are you in?"

Shadow's grip upon his revolver increased. Knowing that he couldn't ignore the door forever, he opened it a fraction. "What do you want, Faker?"

On any other day, Sonic would have had a snarky comeback ready and waiting for that quip, but today, he wasn't in the mood. "Sorry to drop in, Shadow, but I need to call in a solid 'You owe me'."

Shadow regretted not shooting the blue hedgehog through the door. "What is it?"

Sonic sighed. "Well, all I need is someone to watch Tails for me. Blaze and I are going out of town and the locale isn't exactly rated 'PG', if you follow."

Shadow gave Sonic an odd look. "Couldn't you just leave him by himself? Or get someone else to do it?"

Sonic sighed again. "Look, if I could, I would, and you know that. There isn't anyone else I could trust and is available to watch him."

Shadow twitched. He knew Sonic wouldn't come to him for this unless it was an absolute last resort. "Alright, I'll do it. My babysitting fee is your soul, and I want half up front."

"Five hundred it is then." Sonic replied, unfazed.

"When are you and the Queen leaving?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. I'll bring him by in the morning."

Shadow sighed again. Now he really wished he had shot Sonic through the door.

The next morning, Sonic arrived with Tails as promised.

"Hi Uncle Shadow! Are you still using that old revolver I built you? It's outdated, here I brought you a better one. Hey, what does this do? Can we go see Auntie Rouge and Omega later? Can I use this?"

Ah, yes. Now Shadow remembered why Sonic had so much trouble finding a reliable sitter. The ten year old fox always talked at a hundred miles a minute, stuck his nose into anything that could possibly be considered mechanical, and bounced around the room like he was on too much caffeine. Speaking of which…

"Miles." Shadow intoned.

"Yeah, Uncle Shadow."

"Exactly how many cups of coffee have you had this morning?"

Tails paused. "Only a cup of decaf, is that not enough?"

Shadow did not respond, but calmly walked over to his kitchenette, grabbed his coffee maker, and silently hurled it out of his window. He didn't bother to open the window first. Only after doing this did Shadow speak.

"No more coffee for you. Ever."

"What do you mean, Uncle Shadow?" Tails asked, thoroughly confused.

"Never mind."

Tails simply looked at Shadow for a moment, then looked at the broken window, then back at Shadow.

"Can we go see Auntie Rouge?"

Shadow sighed again.

An hour later, hedgehog and fox walked into Club Rouge, Rouge T. Bat's bar/nightclub/restaurant.

At the bar, Omega was acting as bartender, short-order cook, and cashier. "GREETINGS, COMERADE SHADOW. GREETINGS, ALLY PROWER. WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU TODAY?"

Shadow walked up to his robotic friend. "Omega, give me a shot of the strongest stuff you've got."

Omega nodded. "TWO VICADIN AND ORANGE JUICE, COMING UP."

Rouge, hearing the noise, appeared from her office in the back of the club. "Well, well, if it isn't tall, dark, and handsome. What brings you in?"

Tails, seeing the bat he had been seeking, bounded over.

"Hi Aunty Rouge! You look bigger than the last time I saw you! Is the baby coming soon? Can I reprogram Omega? Can I try this drink, it looks good?"

Rouge, to her credit, didn't miss a beat. "Yes, I am a little bigger, no the baby isn't due for another two months, leave Omega's brains alone, and you're not old enough."

Shadow and Omega both stared at the bat woman, wide eyed.

"Wow, even Sonic can't keep up with that kid's mouth half the time."

Rouge just chuckled as she guided Tails back to the bar. "Sometimes, it's just a matter of anticipation. I'm guessing that the lovebirds skipped town and left you kit-watching?"

Shadow nodded his head as he took the glass of O.J. from the bartending robot.

"Yes. I'll also need to get a new window, by the way."

"ASUMPTION: COFEE-MAKER MALFUNCTION?"

Shadow simply nodded again. As the black hedgehog took a sip of his beverage, Tails spoke up again.

"Where's Knuckles? Isn't he usually here?"

Omega answered as he handed the two-tailed fox a glass of milk. "COMRAD KNUCKLES IS CURRENTLY IN ROME MEETING WITH THE POPE OVER SOME RELIGIOUSE MATTERS. HE WILL NOT RETURN FOR ANOTHER TWENTY-SEVEN HOURS."

Shadow looked up, slightly surprised. "Talking with the Pope? Now what, is his vicarship in question?"

Rouge chuckled again. "No, but the 'Church of the Master Emerald' is. Or was, anyway. Regardless, that's what Knux went to clear up. Like Omega said, he'll be back sometime the day after tomorrow."

"COMRAD SHADOW, WAS NOT TODAY THE DAY YOU INTEDED TO VISIT THE ARK AND CONTINUE YOUR INVESTIGATION INTO DR. GERALD'S ARCHIVE?" Omega asked, rubbing down the counter with a polishing attachment.

Shadow perked up a little at that. "You're right, it was. But what about…"

Tails cut the black hedgehog off. "You're going up to the ARK? Can I come? Please? I promise I'll be good!"

Shadow paused to think it over for a moment. There's not exactly anywhere that he could run off to up there, and he knows more about machinery than just about anyone else on the planet, that would be invaluable in trying to decipher some of the Doctor's notes.

His decision made, Shadow faced the small fox. "Alright, you can come."

A.N.- Well, for all of you wanting a continuation of 'Why Sonic Can't Marry Amy', here it is. This fic takes place roughly a year after 'WSCMA', and the gang has obviously not sat still in the intervening time. Just so everyone is up to speed, here is some highlights of what happened in that time:

-Sonic and Blaze got married (Headed to the honeymoon at the start of this chapter)

-Rouge and Knuckles got married (Technically a shotgun wedding with a much bigger gun wielded by a bartender and an off duty federal agent)

-Amy became clinically depressed due to Sonic's marriage. She recovered thanks to medical help, but is still sensitive to the issue.

-Shadow discovered an archive of Dr. Gerald Robotnik's work aboard the ARK station, but has yet to crack into it.

Unlike many of my other fics, I can't really say where this one came from, but it's been eating at the back of my brain for a little while now. As always, constructive criticism is welcome and flames will be noted and added to my nest of ashes. Once again, this is Shining Pheonix, bidding you good night.