A Moment In Time ~ Quatre
There he is . . .
I sigh inwardly to myself. I wish I knew what he was thinking. I wish I could tell what was on his mind, that he didn't mask his thoughts and feelings behind that expressionless face. He's gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. He looks almost poetic staring off into the distance like that.
Actually, it almost looks like he's staring at Duo. But that's silly. Trowa's not the type to blatantly stare at someone like that. And even if he was, I don't see why he would be staring at Duo. Not that Duo isn't great to look at, but I can't imagine Trowa being interested in him in that way. Trowa needs someone soft, someone gentle.
Someone like me.
I think I'd make a great match for him. I can provide for him and take care of him. Give him the things he's never had. I want to make him happy. I want to see him smile, and have it be because of me. I want to hold him, and be held by him, feeling his strong arms around me. The first time I saw him I was captivated; then, when we played that beautiful music together, I fell . . . For him . . . Completely and totally, head over heels. I wish I had the courage to tell him how I feel.
Not that I haven't made it quite obvious. I can't help it. I'm happy when he's around and I like doing things for him. I want to show him how good I can be to him. I think that's the best way to win his heart, with kindness and friendliness. To show him I care, even though I can't say it to his face. Though, sometimes I'm afraid of coming off more like a schoolgirl or a little lost puppy, following him around. I try not to outright worship the ground he walks on, but sometimes it might seem that way.
Duo waves at Trowa, with a big, silly grin plastered on his face. I envy Duo. His relationship with Heero is simply amazing. I was always under the impression that Heero wanted to kill Duo, just to get him out of his hair. Boy, was I off. But, seeing them together, I know they were meant to be. Duo brings something out in Heero. Something that was hidden long ago. I picture Heero nursing the bruise on Duo's cheek and smile inwardly. Yeah, Heero will take care of him in all his clumsiness. I wish I had a relationship like that.
Trowa gives a small wave back. That was unexpected. It's unusual for him to give a reaction; I feel slightly jealous. Not that I have to worry about Duo trying to get Trowa. He has someone, so thinking him as a rival would be pointless and unnecessary.
I sip my tea and look off in the distance. This place is beautiful; the landscape, the wonderful house that we've made our temporary home. It's all very beautiful. I wonder what Trowa thinks of it. Another sip of tea, and a moment staring into my cup, I slowly raise my eyes to glance at him again. He's looking right at me! Not knowing what else to do, I quickly look off to the side, trying to hide my blush, knowing I'm not succeeding. It's one thing for someone to know you want them, it's another thing having them catch you looking. Now I feel all self-conscious. I take another peek to see if he's still looking, and see that he's not. Now he's glancing at Wufei.
Ahh, there's my rival.
Nobody would have ever guessed it. The only one who knows is me, because he told me. Wufei's in love with Trowa too. He keeps it well hidden, it's impossible to tell unless you watch him very closely, but he's the one I have to worry about over Trowa's affection. I can't help but wonder if he's exercising shirtless just to get attention. Maybe I should try that . . . Nah, it'd seem really odd if I did that. Besides, I'm not built like Wufei; they'd probably laugh at me. But, I think I'm in a better position than he is. I'm closer to Trowa (Wufei's just so distant) so I have the advantage.
Now Trowa's back to staring off in the distance. I wonder what he's thinking about. Could it be me? I hope so. Or maybe Wufei? Hmm . . . Maybe I should talk to him. But what would I say? I know! I'll offer him some of this delicious tea! That'd be a great excuse, err- I mean reason. Jeez, I really am acting like a schoolgirl. I sigh to myself again.
Taking a deep breath, I quietly lean over and ask if he wants any. I'm being as friendly and cheerful as I can possibly be. There's no way he can refuse.
But he does. Damn it!
What can I do to make him want me? How can I make him see that we belong together? I wish I were more like Duo. Duo would know what to do and to say. If I could have that confidence and charm, then I could get him. Right? Yeah, I wish I were like Duo.
Even though Duo really isn't Trowa's type.