Forever
A/N: Hello! Any fans of Murtagh/Nasuada like me can relate when I say there needs to be more senseless fluff in this fandom. There's so many big issues surrounding their relationship, and for the most part, they need to be addressed to make the story as believable as possible. BUT, that's an issue for my other story, Pömnuria Hjarta er medh Ono. This story will have some of the same feel to it, but let us be honest. It's just MxN fluff.
I've been writing this particular one-shot on/off for about a year now. Murtagh and Nasuada are meant to be in their 30's.
That being said, please enjoy Forever!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Everything felt the same to her. Meeting after meeting; dinner after dinner; ball after ball. Every day, she stood before her wardrobe, her servants changing her into suitable attire to fit the occasion for the evening. Everyday it was a council meeting in the mid morning, a dinner with the nobles in the evening followed by a ball to entertain her various suitors, love interests, power hungry aristocrats and prejudice councilmen who wanted a male leader of their choice upon the throne beside her. Everyday Nasuada smiled back to those leering faces who only saw her as a tool to get what they desired from the throne of Alagaësia. Neither of them were stupid. She knew their intentions, and they knew that she was aware of their objectives. It was a stalemate between them both, but where they thought they had the upper hand, Nasuada entertained their desires without truly considering them. In her mind, she had an agenda to keep, and no man was going to strong-arm her off her predestined path.
This day was like any other: the same plan, the same game. She humored the idea of them thinking they might get their way for a while, smiling to herself at their attempts to slip in a one-sided suggestion or two throughout their conversations. But with time, the young Queen grew bored with their advances, blatantly ignoring anything her suitors and councilmen tried to suggest. She could tell her avoidance of the situation was itching at their patience, and just as she suspected, they took it upon themselves to force their agenda upon her.
"You're quite blessed, ma'am," her servant said quietly, pulling the ends of her waistband securely around her midsection. "I would never entertain the idea of having so many men asking for my hand."
Nasuada sighed, smiling at the servant girl. "Any man would be blessed to have you as a wife, Meredith," she said in response. The girl blushed, murmuring a surprised thank you. "But, I cannot find excitement in this," the Queen continued. "These men are here for the title as King, not for me. It's all a part of their plan, shrouded under fancy words and empty promises. They will all try to woo me the best they can, but I will not believe a word they tell me tonight."
"But, I am told that you shall pick a suitable husband tonight," Meredith said quietly. "There is a chance that one has pure intentions. Perhaps you shall find love amongst the darkness?"
Nasuada smiled. "You are sweet," she told the girl. "But my love left years ago. I would rather rule alone than passively submit to a man lesser than he."
Meredith looked surprised. "I was not aware Your Majesty had a lover."
The Queen cast a distant look out the glass of her chambers, thinking of what seemed to be such a distant past now. "It was a brief, hopeful time," she said wistfully. "But I was much younger then, and we were destined to part ways. I haven't spoken of him since he left." She turned her gaze back to the girl. "I hope you can understand why."
"Of course, my Lady," Meredith said quickly, tying off the bow of Nasuada's waist sash before ducking into a short curtsey. "I would not breathe a word of it to anybody."
"Thank you," Nasuada said, lowering her arms to touch the young girl's shoulder. She still had freckles upon her face, her naturally curly brown hair tied at the nape of her neck. Her brown eyes were hopeful and sad, her compassion for her Queen apparent in the way she worried over her situation. She was much different than Nasuada ever was at her age, which she supposed, was a better hand than the one the Queen had dealt before her. Nasuada smiled softly. "I hope your future plays out better than mine, Meredith."
"I will pray for your happiness, my Queen," she announced, curtseying again. Nasuada didn't respond, taking the girl's words to heart. At this point in the game, any outcome with a positive result would be comfort to the trials she had ahead of her.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Dinner was a useless collaboration of powerful men boasting about their most recent achievements in an attempt to surprise and interest her. No story was one she had not heard before and she feigned interest as she picked at the plate laid before her. She smiled at the dukes and lords, chuckled at sons of Earls' stories, awkwardly avoiding eye contact when councilmen spoke to her about the possible options sitting around the table. The way they made it sound was more like she was judging a stock of cows to give out a prize to the biggest and burliest bull while they stared at her like a slab of prime venison meat. It was sickening.
She knew they were blinded by the glitter of her status, which was reflected by the clothing she wore. Her dress was a floor length golden gown, soft as silk and accentuated by the long flowing silver sash that Meredith tied for her earlier that evening. Gold decorated her wrists and neck, complimenting the jeweled gold crown nestled in her braided and knotted black hair. Her eyes and lips shimmered with finely crushed clamshell that was brought to her as a gift a few months before, which Meredith helped paint upon her skin. She knew her outfit was befitting of a Queen, but she felt less than one at the moment, and that truly bothered her.
The attention cast upon her was lavish, but she kept her head level. Despite the men who spoke to her, or hinted towards their intentions, she kept everything at a distance, refusing to fall for any lure held before her.
"It was all just a senseless experience, Your highness," the man beside her said. She tried to retune her mind into the conversation- she missed the exposition to the tale and had no idea what he truly spoke about- nodding her head casually when he looked to see her reaction. "But, he learned his lesson that day. I encouraged him, of course, but there is no reason for such boasting." He laughed, but looked to her to contradict him with some sort of compliment. The expectance in his eyes was almost palpable. Nasuada inched a smile into her face.
"A grand experience, I am sure," she responded vaguely. "Now if you do not mind, I wish to take a moment to myself." Conversations at the table grew quiet at her announcement. She cast a look over them, discomforted by all the attention. "Pardon me. I shall return shortly."
There were a chorus of responses as she stood from her seat, which she ignored quite blatantly, turning to exit herself from the dining hall. She knew her escape was only temporary, she still had a ball to host and a plethora of possible suitors to dance with before the night was exhausted, but she still felt the strain of such specialized attention to be wearing upon her mind.
She didn't go far, only walking a few paces away from the doors of the dining hall to lean against an open window. She took a few long breaths into her lungs, wishing she was anywhere but where she was tonight. Crossing her arms, she lowered her head down for a moment of weakness, a brief moment where she let the weight of the world crush her beneath its oppressive pressure. There were so many things that needed her full attention; she couldn't understand the significance of the situation at hand. When did her love life take precedence over people in need? She refused to allow her frustrations to get the better of her while people who could take advantage of any weakness was nearby.
"I hope you are not feeling ill, Your Majesty," a male voice said from behind her. Lifting her head swiftly, without giving off an air of surprise, Nasuada turned around to face the man cautiously.
"I just required some air, that is all," the Queen responded. "I'll return shortly."
The man smiled, lifting a glass of burgundy wine to his lips. "No need to get defensive, my Queen," he spoke. "I merely wished to escape the chattering fools myself. There are only so many arrogant stories I can take before castrating one of them for even opening his mouth."
Nasuada chose not to respond, carefully analyzing his stance. The man held himself with the air of a noble, but the crass manners of someone who had seen more danger than most of the proper aristocrats in the dining hall. His long dark hair was well-kept and swept into a tie at the nape of his neck, and his face was well groomed but hinted towards a bit of stubble on his chin. He wore a dark red embroidered tunic and dark pants tucked into boots. Nasuada noted that the boots looked more worn than a noble would ever consider wearing to a Queen's ball. There was a distant familiarity to the fall of his nose and the look in his eyes, but the nostalgic feeling ended there. She had to admit, she was curious, but cautious of this man.
He chuckled softly, noticing her careful attention. "I do have to admit, I arrived a little too late for the parade of names and ranks. I do apologize for that." He took a sip of the wine. "Theatrics aren't really my thing."
Nasuada looked away, feeling a little irritated by his announcement. "Then you're here for the ball, I presume," she commented.
"I sense a bit of animosity in that statement," he responded. Nasuada frowned and his lips quirked a bit in response. "No need to hide it, Your Majesty. It is clear you do not care for the festivities of the evening."
"Why would I host an event I do not care for?" the Queen asked, masking any emotion from her face.
The man smiled thinly. "There's the question of the hour."
Nasuada hid a shiver, realizing this man was starting to see through her facade. "Who are you?"
"The name's not important." The man pushed himself off the wall. "But you may call me Lord Audric."
"And where do you hail from, Lord Audric?" the Queen inquired.
He smiled secretively, taking a sip from the burgundy wine. "You should return to your guests soon, Your Majesty," he suggested. "Wouldn't want them to think you are playing favorites."
Nasuada narrowed her eyes; she knew when she was being played. "Escort me," she requested, holding out her arm. The man's smile fell a bit, but he bowed low regardless.
"It would be my honor."
He took up her arm, cradling it gently in the corner of his own. In her opinion, he was a very pleasant escort, matching her pace easily to create ease for her. His touch was polite, yet distant, something she found strange for the men who showed up for the evening's event. The guests stared as she returned, but she dismissed them easily, requesting that they swiftly finish their meals so they could enjoy the desert and dance reserved for the rest of the evening. She carefully noted that Lord Audric, or so he called himself (she refused to believe that was truly his name), took up a seat quite a few away from hers. He spoke calmly and fluently with the people around him, but the meaningful glances sent her way were not missed. She suppressed a smile at the apparent displeasure of the men that surrounded him.
At the sounds of the strings warming up, Nasuada made a quick announcement about the dance portion of the night starting. Already, she dreaded what she would come after this, and as she stepped onto the ballroom floor, golden dress cascading around her feet, the long line of suitors prepared to dance with her formed. She ignored the petty arguments that came with "who would dance next" and she picked a partner herself, throwing the young man off guard by initiating the dance herself.
She allowed each suitor their opportunity to spin her around the dance floor a few times and have his chance to steal her heart. Somehow, the council believed that a few moments of talking and awkward dancing would be enough to win their Queen's heart, but Nasuada knew better. They expected her to fall for a pretty face with a rich family, handpicked by the council themselves, and it astounded her that they could ever believe that she would be so ignorant and subservient to agree with them. They knew how independent she was and how capable she was as a single ruler, but this was a man's world and they openly believed that a woman had no place at the top. She hated it; she hated it with all her being, but there was a time and place for every battle, and this was one she couldn't fight.
Midway through the dance sequence, she began to grow tired. The suitors talked amongst themselves and watched with thinly veiled jealousy as another man sweet-talked the Queen. It was a vile, sickening display of the thirst for hunger and man's desire to use everything he could to rise to the top. But she couldn't be completely bitter. There were a few decent men in the crowd who saw her for the strong woman she was. If she had an opinion, she would chose to marry one of them to be a figurehead at her side and a column of support underneath. But the one thing that had her gold painted lips drawing a frown was the knowledge that none of this was for love. Sure, in good time, she may come to love the man she chose, but that was a dream that provided a thin veil of disillusion over the harshness of the reality.
The current song came to a close and Nasuada dropped her hands from the man who stood before her. Her eyes stared sightlessly into the distance as she envisioned a life without strings where she could live and love whomever she wanted. Her heart gave an unsteady pull at the hazy memory of a pair of grey eyes. Her dance partners changed, but she didn't offer a glance to see whom stood before her now. A smooth pair of gloved hands slipped into her limp hands and gave them a light squeeze.
"Daydreaming, your Majesty?" a masculine voice whispered in her ear.
She pulled herself away from her long distant memories, resisting the startled jump her heart gave at the similarity of the grey eyes that stared at her now. "It is rude to accuse a Queen of such inattentiveness, Lord Audric."
"My apologies," he said. Certain that she now focused on him, he gently led her in an elegant dance to the sound of the strings in the background. Throughout the years, Nasuada experienced a variety of different dance styles, from the most graceful to adequate at best. Audric's style stood out in her mind, if only for the simplicity in his steps, but the gracefulness in the way he held her. It took her a moment to realize that he had only led the dance for the first few moments until she caught up. She was the one who led the dance now. The relinquishment of male control caught her by surprise.
"You are aware that this dance remains the only chance for you to make an impression upon me," she told him. They danced in relative silence up until then, and the lack of rushed talking caught her off guard. Lord Audric merely smiled.
"If I have yet to make an impression upon you, then I have no chance in winning your hand," he told her. "A few moments of hurried explanation will make no difference."
"Your arrogance precedes you," she voiced.
He shrugged, unconcerned. "Perhaps. Although, I believe you confuse arrogance with confidence, Your Majesty."
Nasuada shook her head in disbelief. "You believe that I would choose you over any of them based off confidence? I hardly know you."
"And what makes you think you know any one of them better?" he responded. He leaned in closer so his cleanly shaven cheek brushed against hers. His voice was lower as it whispered in her ear. "You dance in a room of hungry wolves, Your Majesty. One misjudgment can mean the end of you and your rule."
A cold chill raced down Nasuada's spine. She cast an uncomfortable glance at the line of suitors staring them down as they danced. Their eyes almost seemed to glow with envy, secrets of their intentions hidden behind fancy clothes and sweetened words. In the distance, near the back of the room, she could see the Council discussing potential candidates that they intended to liken towards her. She turned away, disgusted.
"I will not be brought down by the egoism of men," she hissed. Audric pulled back a bit in surprise by the acid in her tone. She did not mean to come off so resentfully, but she refused to apologize. "I have proven my capability time and time again. If you, or any other man in this room believes that I will bow down and allow them to walk upon me, then you are sorely mistaken."
She brought herself to a halt, convinced that she had offended the man enough to push him away, but instead of stepping aside, Lord Audric merely grinned.
"Only a fool would believe that they could take advantage of you, my Lady," he said. He turned her hand in his and inched the arm around her waist a little higher. "I am no fool."
Something deep within her reacted against his words. Her heart rushed from what she thought was anger, but a few moments glaring into his dancing grey eyes told her that she was excited. He offered her a challenge, and she was not about to bow down. She narrowed her eyes. "Prove it."
Audric gave her a smile that reached all the way to his eyes. "Another time, your Majesty," he said quietly.
Distantly, Nasuada realized that the music had come to a close. She cursed her inattentiveness internally, ignoring the way his grey eyes glittered with amusement. He gave her hand one final squeeze and stepped away as another, awkward young earl took up her hand for a dance. She watched Audric disappear into the crowd as the young man began moving her around the dance floor, giving her his life story in hopes that it would interest her enough to marry him.
Usually she would put up a façade of attentiveness to the man standing before her, but this time she could not. She blatantly ignored the boy as he spoke, struggling to decipher the emotions swirling around inside her. There was something about the way Audric spoke to her that riled her up in a way she hadn't felt in years. It was as if he knew that she missed the direct challenge against her authority. She was tired of dancing around half-spoken agendas and men saying that she was worthy and all they wanted was to help her. She liked that he was full of himself enough to rise against her. To think that he was arrogant enough to believe that she would choose him!
She paused in her thinking. She really didn't know much about him, and he didn't try to tell her anything either. But, he was right. He had made enough of an impression that she was still thinking about their few moments of conversation, and it hardly bothered her that he was conceded enough to speak to her in such a brash manner. The conversation held a distant sort of familiarity as though she were speaking with an old friend. Yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something. As the young earl spun her around the dance floor she kept looking out in the direction Audric had disappeared to. Suddenly, desperately, she had to know more. Perhaps this was his plan, to worm into her mind until she chased after him, but she wanted answers, and she refused to wait for them to be delivered.
Abruptly, she stopped dancing, taking the still babbling young man by surprise. He stumbled a bit, his hand falling from hers. She let her hand fall to her side, indicating that she did not wish to continue their dance.
"Excuse me," she said, stepping away.
There was a chorus of confused voices as she walked into the crowd, searching for Audric. She noticed that the Council seemed perturbed by her actions, discussing quietly between themselves. Perhaps they would intercept her and convince her to return to the dance floor where she would entertain the fantasies of the rest of the suitors waiting for their chance to charm a Queen, but she did not wish to do what they wanted any more. She had her own agenda to fill this night.
It did not take her long to find him. He stood out on the open balcony overlooking Ilirea, leaning against the railing. His eyes were distant as they stared at the sky. It almost seemed as though he were searching for something. He shifted a bit when she approached him, standing straighter as he met her focused gaze. The grey color struck down to her heart again uncomfortably. She stopped a mere two feet before him and glared up at him.
"I demand answers," she said. "I know Audric is not your given name and you are no lord. Who are you and why do you taunt me so? Choose your words wisely, for I have means of obtaining the information I seek, and not all ways are pleasant."
He gave her a thin smile. "I am afraid you already know the answers to your questions, my Lady."
"Do not taunt me, Audric," she snapped. Despite her words, she felt nervous, as though he confirmed a suspicion she did not realize she had. Or one she refused to acknowledge.
"I do not blame you for not recognizing me," he continued. "It has been several years since we last spoke, and I required a few precautions to assure my identity would not be compromised." He matched her eyes. "It truly has been too long, Nasuada."
"Too long?" she repeated hollowly. Her hands trembled. His face held a hint of familiarity she recognized from many years past, but there was nothing in the contours of his cheeks that told her for sure that it was he she spoke to. He looked so different, but his actions felt the same. Somewhere deep within her, she recognized him, even when he wore a different face. She struggled to keep herself composed amongst the raging emotions swirling within her. "After all these years, you choose this night to come?"
His face was somber. "I fought myself not to," he said. "I know you can handle everything on your own. You have done so well for yourself all these years already. But I had to be sure."
"Be sure of what?" she whispered. "That a woman could handle the throne?"
"No," he said. "I always knew that you could. I had to be sure that you weren't… different."
Nasuada paused. "Different?"
He was silent for a long moment, just staring at her. Finally, he reached up a hand to gently brush the skin across her cheek. "I do not know what I would have done if that spark in your eyes had died during the time I have been gone."
His touch lit her skin on fire and the carefully reinforced walls around her heart crumbled. She reached up to press her hand over his, trying to ignore the sharp sting of tears in her eyes. "Murtagh-"
"It was wrong of me to doubt you, Nasuada," he told her gentle look in his eyes said so much about his time away. It told her what he had seen and all that he had sorted through. It told her that in his time away, he had finally found the peace he searched so long for. The look slowly melted into one of distant longing as he looked upon the contours of her face.
"You have become even more beautiful than when I saw you last," he breathed. "How many years has it been?"
"Nearly fifteen," she whispered.
Murtagh was silent. His thumb brushed against her cheek sentimentally. "Not a day has gone by that I have not thought of you, Nasuada," he said softly.
Her throat felt tight. "Then why did you not return sooner?"
"I could not," he said regretfully. "Not while we still fought our demons." His grey eyes grew stormy with uncertainty. "I still do not think we are ready."
"Then why come now?" she asked him quietly. "After fifteen years, why this night?"
He sighed. "Selfishness. Uncertainty." He looked away. "The thought that some other man could sweep you away terrified me to my core."
Her eyes softened and she lifted a hand to gently turn his face back to her. "No other man could even come close."
His grey eyes shone in a way that she had not seen before. An awkward happiness that she never would have seen in the eyes of the broken young man she once knew him as. He took her shoulders into his hands.
"Nasuada, I swear to you. No matter how long it will take, I will return to you. For good. If you will have me, for all the broken and useless that I am, I am yours. From now until forever, I will always come back for you."
Her heart felt heavy in her chest, as if she could not hold in the happiness she felt in that one moment. "I have waited this long," she said softly. "And I will wait for the rest of eternity if I must."
"It will not be that long," he whispered. "I swear to you."
"Then return to me swiftly, my Rider," she replied. She gave him a soft smile. "Your Queen demands it."
His eyes danced in amusement, a pleased smile lifting his lips. "As you wish, your Majesty."
He stepped back to bow deeply, but did not return the distance after he stood again. Instead he lingered in his spot, casting a quick look to the skies above him. "I must go," he said quietly.
Nasuada's smile fell. "Where will you go?"
"Anywhere. Everywhere." His voice was wistful. "We fly where the wind takes us." He looked at her again. "One day I will show you."
Her returning smile was brilliant. "I would love that."
He smiled again before looking at the sky.
"I will miss you."
He looked back at her, his eyes softening at her quiet admission. "Here," he said, holding his hand out. "Give me your hand. I will make you a promise." Carefully, Nasuada placed her hand in his. He held it gently. "Atra Aiedail ono varda, un ono thelduin waíse horskr. Eka heit eom redeo eom ono síða un wilae dunei ono wiol allr abr ævi."
Nasuada felt a weight upon her chest as if the words she could not understand struck a chord deep in her heart. "What does that mean?"
He gave her a small secretive smile. "I will tell you upon my return." He leaned in to place a chaste, lingering kiss upon her forehead. "Until next time, my Queen."
He stepped away with a parting smile and leapt over the balcony railing in one fluid motion. Nasuada gave a surprised gasp and ran to the railing in time to see the silhouette of a dragon flying away from the capitol city. She released the tense breath she was holding and leaned against the stone railing guarding her from falling.
"Return soon, my red Rider."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The results of the ball were talked about for months. Not because the people of Alagaësia knew who their new king would be, but rather because there would be no king at all. Shortly following the departure of the red Rider, Nasuada made an announcement to all who attended that she refused to follow orders of men who intended to undermine her authority and politely asked that all suitors in attendance leave. The council fought her decision, but she calmly informed them that if they had a problem with how she ruled, then she did not have any qualms about finding a new council. They did not revisit the subject after that.
Many people questioned the motivation behind the Queen's decision. Some of the more traditional people worried that the kingdom would fall to ruin, but those who supported the Queen agreed with her decision. For three years following the suitor's ball, Nasuada ruled with just as much grace and wisdom as she had so many years before, quelling the disturbance the ball had created.
Life continued on as it had before. Meeting after meeting; dinner after dinner; ball after ball. Occasionally, during the brief moments where her duties didn't bog her down, Nasuada would look to the skies, hoping to see the glitter of ruby amongst the clouds.
Not once did she question if he would keep his promise, and true to his word, one night he returned. For good.
"Tell me again what you said to me that night," Nasuada requested from the safety of his arms.
He held her close to him and whispered in her ear. "Atra Aiedail ono varda, un ono thelduin waíse horskr. Eka heit eom redeo eom ono síða un wilae dunei ono wiol allr abr ævi."
"What does it mean?"
Smiling softy, he translated the phrase. "May the Morning Star watch over you, and your rule be wise. I promise to return to your side and love you for all of time."
Nasuada felt her heart warm at the beautiful words, a brilliant smile lighting up her face. "I suppose forever will make up for eighteen years of waiting," she laughed. "I love you, Murtagh."
"And I, you, my love," he whispered.
In the darkness of the night, the Queen and her Rider kissed the first of many kisses to come in their forever.
Fin.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A/N: Thank you for reading this monster of a one-shot. I hope you enjoyed it! :) Please consider leaving a review!