Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or the characters.
a/n: Another old story, just now transferring it from Tumblr to here.
Plot Bunny:) What would have happened if Ziva had come home with Tony? What would have happened in regards to the one year anniversary of her father's death? So since she came home, that tarmac scene would not have happened.
I Love You, I Love You, I Love You.
He pushed the key into the lock of her apartment and without knocking, he let himself in. He saw her right away, standing at the stove stirring a pot of noodles.
"How was work?" She asked immediately.
"Rough. Delilah was hurt. Pretty bad." He said, nervously. He felt like he was walking on eggshells with her lately.
"Oh. Will she be okay?" Ziva asked.
"I don't know. The doctors are doing everything they can." He replied.
She'd come back to DC with him. For him, not for the job. But he could tell she wasn't happy here. He was afraid she would never be happy anywhere. Israel was full of her scarring and painful past, but DC had its ghosts too. He also knew today was hard on her as well, because one year ago today, her father was killed.
He wanted so bad to just let her know that she was loved, and so not alone. But she hadn't understand it before, and it wasn't like her to get it now. He was afraid it was only a matter of time before he'd have to let her go.
"You need to talk Ziva?" He asked.
"No, I am fine Tony." She said, in an emotionless tone.
"Ziva, don't do this." He said.
"Tony I do not know what…." she began, but stopped mid-sentance as Tony grabbed her waist and turned her to look up at him. "What you are talking about." She finished shakily.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Zi. Your abba is on your mind today and you're thinking it was a mistake to come back here with me. To… to me."
Ziva's eyes widened and deepened at Tony's statement. Of course she'd thought that maybe she'd made a mistake, and of course today was especially hard for her. But she'd never once thought coming home to Tony was a mistake. She still loved that he was slowly picking up Hebrew for her.
"Tony…" she paused, "you are a lot of things, but you are not a mistake that I made. I came back for you because…"
Her eyes teared up and her chest just tightened, and she let go of the spoon she was holding and clung tight to him.
Tony took her in his arms, and held her close to him. They hadn't had much physical contact since that grove in Israel, they'd mostly just been sitting close together on the couch, watching one of Tony's many movies. They'd talk about how McGee was doing and how Bishop was adjusting, and about her job at the dinner Gibbs frequented. She'd fall asleep on the couch and he'd carry her to bed, and he'd sleep on his couch if they were at his place, and he'd head home if they were at hers.
He'd so desperately wanted her more, but was not ready to test her boundries. She wasn't sure why he didn't want more from her.
"If we are not going to do this Tony, I cannot stay here." She said.
"Aren't going to do… what?" he asked.
"Us." She said. "I came back to DC for you. For us. And I trusted you, that this could work, that you were fighting for this."
"I am Ziva. I am. I want you to be okay and happy here." He said, softly. She sighed, letting go of him and tending to dinner again. She turned the stove off and grabbed a strainer, and pushed Tony out of the way.
"What?" He said, wondering why she was thinking.
"You do not get this. You are not listening to me. Sure I'm supposed to grieve and be mourning my father right now, but I have had so much time to do that. I just need someone, and you promised to be that someone. You promised we would make this work,
but all we've done is sit on a couch together." She said, feeling a little bit better having ranted. "And if that's all you want from me, is a friendship, I cannot stay here. "
Tony felt a tug on his heart, realizing that the entire time he was treading lightly, she'd been looking for him to run as quickly as he could.
"I'm sorry Ziva." He said, fully understanding now what she'd said. She was asking for him to love her. She shouldn't have to ask for that.
"Do not apologize to me. You should not have asked me to come back. I should not have come. " her voice cracked. She had just hoped that Tony had loved her.
Hearing what he had just heard, Tony walked over to her and brought his hands to her jaw, pulling her to him, and brought her lips to his in a sensual kiss. She reacted once the shock wore off, and kissed him back with all she was. This was vulnerable. She didn't like it, but without the badge to hide behind, it had been her life lately.
"Ziva David, I love you, I love you, I love you. Do you understand me? I just want this to work so badly I didn't want to risk anything by going to quickly with things, and with today approaching so quickly? I was afraid you wanted to leave. I understand now. And my promise is still true. I promise that I love you and we will get this to work." He said, pressing his forehead to hers. "Its going to work, because it's all we've got to live for."
They both just stayed there like that, hand in hand, foreheads touching, with goofy smiles on their faces, until Ziva said, "Our food will get cold."
"Wouldn't want your hard work to go to waste, sweetcheeks." He said with a giggle. She let out a real laugh, for the first time in a long while.
They ate, and honestly didn't talk a lot. Mostly he'd just steal lovely glances at her, and she'd smile because she'd catch him doing it.
When they finished, he decided to try something different. He walked over to her DVD player and pushed in a familiar CD.
"What movie are we watching? " she asked, slightly disappointed that things weren't really changing here.
"We never finished our dance in Berlin." He said, pressing play. The sweet opera music from the CD he'd made her for Tali filled the room. He took her by the waist and they moved to the kitchen where they'd have more space, and finished their dance.
Ziva once again, heard her father's words.
"My Ziva, one day you'll dance with a man who deserves your love."
"Yes I will. I am." She whispered.
"You are what?" Tony asked, swaying with her.
"When I was young, my father told me that one day, I would dance with a man who deserved my love. I… I am." She said.
Tony grinned, leaning down to kiss her.
"I love you Zi."
"I love you too Tony."
*Please let me know what you thought!*