It was late. The sitter had agreed to take Jesse all night as these late nights did have to happen on occasion. She still knew she needed to get home but this case had been nagging at her. Was it someting about the vic? No, there were thousands of women just like her and she had been able to separate herself from them. Was it the fact that their prime suspect had his first trial date tomorrow? No, that wasn't it either. The evidence was so strong they knew any sane-minded jury would find him guilty without any reasonable doubt. So what was keeping her here? The paperwork was done. She had been sitting there for the last hour reviewing notes of witness statements and interviews.

Her eyes flickered to the man across the room. He was still there scrolling through somthing on his computer. They'd been working this case together...closely. As much as she wanted a desgusting rapist to face justice and be hauled off to prison... she didn't want to go home. Because going home meant their collaboration was coming to an end.
He caught her eye and she looked away quickly.
He cleared his throat and in her peripheral vision she saw him stand. She looked over at him again as he slung his suit coat over his shoulders. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his badge clipped to his belt.

"Whadda ya say, Rollins? Call it a night? C'mon, I'll buy ya a drink." He had walked over to her desk, thrown his jacket on Fin's empty desk, and leaned over next to her so they were face to face.

God, he even smelled good.

She shook her head. Alcohol... was that such a good idea? She knew a shot of whiskey would help her relax around him. But did she want to? "I don't know," she shook her head, "I don't feel like I'm ready to put this down yet." She gestured to the papers on her desk.
" C'mon, Rollins. There's nothing more to do here. We did our job, now lemme buy ya drink." He smiled and closed her files for her. He picked up his jacket and slung it over his shoulder again.

She smiled nervously, but she hoped he didn't notice. Reluctantly she put the folders in her desk drawer and locked it.

"Fine, Carisi, fine. One drink."
...

They had walked from the precinct to the bar two blocks away. He had regaled her with his non-work events of the day. His mother had called him about a missing garden gnome. He'd told her to go buy another one but being a successful detective, his mother thought he would be able to investigate who might have stolen it. She laughed genuinely. She loved when he talked about his family, about his religion, about...anything really. She just liked hearing his voice.

It wasn't the usual cop bar they frequented. This place was new, but low key. She thought that for the best. The music was live and the patrons were minding their own business.
"Hungry? I think the kitchen is open 'til one." He offered as they sat down at the bar. She shook her head. She hadn't had much of an appetite lately. Maybe it was nerves. She could easily down a burger, fries, and a milkshake without a problem. But spending so many working lunches with him had made her want to focus heavily on the case at hand.

He ordered two bourbon whiskeys neat and they clinked glasses before downing what was in their contents. He held up two fingers to the bartender and a few minutes later they were presented with refills. She drank the second one slower. Her chest already warm from the first drink. He smiled and her heart dropped.

"So you're taking some time off after this case?" She asked.

He shrugged. "I had told my ma that I'd come see her for a couple of days," he sighed, "but ya know this job just never seems done. I feel like if I walk away for a couple of days I'm ignoring someone. A vic, the squad, ya know, not doing what I'm supposed to do." He downed the second glass and she sipped the last bit of hers. He held up two more fingers.

He lifted the drink to his lips and back down but his hands lingered around the glass. She couldn't take her eyes off those hands. Strong and rough but gentle.

"Yeah I get that," she choked out and downed the third glass. Her head felt fuzzy and the warmth in her chest had spread to the rest of her body. And her mind kept wandering back to those hands. "Mmm.." she moaned quietly, involuntarily.
He heard though, she could tell. He looked at her and winked. "Feeling it now, are ya?"

She blushed and shook her head. "You deserve some time off. We all need to blow off steam," she said reverting back to their conversation. But her statement made her blush again and turn away from him, pretending to be interested in whatever was on the tv hung in the corner.

Blow off steam...

They had one or two or three more drinks. She decided not to count. When she reached for her wallet he waved her off, dropped some cash on the bar, and they grabbed their coats off the back of the bar stools. He walked with his hand on the small of her back through the other customers until they reached the door.

"Thanks for the drinks," she smiled, "I thought we were only getting one drink?"

He shrugged and a smile cracked at the corner of his mouth. "Maybe I just like hanging out with you." He was honest and it made her almost uncomfortable. Most people have a hidden agenda. They usually don't say what they're thinking. Not like him. "C'mon, I'll walk you home."
He must have just been doing it to be nice. They didn't live too far from each other, but walking her home put him a couple blocks out of his way. She blushed and nodded.

They talked about the case, and she felt herself relax. Was it the whiskey going to her head? Or the fact that they had turned from personal conversation to work? She felt a little dizzy, but she liked it.

"Whoa, you ok, Rollins?" he asked putting an arm around her to steady her.

She laughed quietly, "I'm great." He kept his arm around her shoulders until they reached her building. She pointed up toward her apartment. "Hey, Carisi, do you want to come up for coffee? Its really cold out here." What was she doing...

"Sure, I could use a cup. Not like I'm going to fall asleep when I get home." He said as they walked up the stairs to the building door.

"Why not? It's almost two in the morning. What else would you be doing?" She asked.

"I don't sleep much these days." He said, his hands in his pockets. Very nonchalant.

"Since when?" She asked as the elevator doors closed.

"Since I came to SVU," he admitted. She nodded and shoved her own hands in her jacket pockets. She'd noticed him rubbing his hands over his face toward the end of the day while he sat at his computer. Thinking he was just a work-a-holic like most cops, she never said anything. But she understood that their line of investigation led to many sleepless nights courtesy of the sights they had to endure.

"Yeah I get that. This job can take its toll." She looked down at her feet as they exited the elevator. They walked in silence to her apartment. She opened the door and Frannie wagged her tail and opened her eyes but did not bother getting up from her warm bed next to the couch. "Good girl, Frannie." Amanda cooed. She was lucky to have a very thoughtful neighbor who would walk Frannie for her when she was stuck at work.

Carisi hung his coat on the back of her door as she walked to the kitchen to start the coffee. He walked over to Frannie and knelt down next to her, scratching her ears until she tried to lick his chin. He dodged her and laughed. Amanda smiled and turned away. She opened the cabinet to pull out two coffee mugs but since she hadn't been home in a while she'd used all the dishes on the lower shelves. She reached for the top shelves but couldn't quite reach.

"Here, I got it." Carisi was suddenly behind her. She could feel him against her back. She braced herself against the counter as he placed the mugs in front of her and took a step back. She turned toward him with her back against the cool counter and even though he had moved he was still very close. Too close. She needed another drink.

She took a deep breath. "Um, if you want, I have some wine my cousin sent me from Italy." She smiled shyly. "Actually, she's a major liar so it's probably from the bodega but its pretty good."

He grinned. "I'll be the judge of that," he said, "I'm somewhat of a wine connoisseur."

"Oh are you?" She quipped. She pointed to the same cabinet. "Do you mind?" she asked. He stepped toward her and without breaking eye contact pulled two glasses from the cabinet and placed them behind her. He didn't move this time. She cleared her throat and broke her gaze. She moved across the kitchen to fetch the red wine she felt like she needed more than anything... Well, there was something she needed more, but she pushed that thought out of her mind. She popped the cork and returned next to him. She poured a generous amount in each glass.

"You tryin' to get me drunk?" He laughed and held up his glass. His hands, his fingers...She tried to hide her smile. She raised her glass to his and they drank. She took gulps while he downed it in one try. "I can definitely say I've had worse," he joked. She giggled. Giggled? Who was she right now?

"More?" She didn't wait for his response as she split the last of the bottle between the two glasses. He moved closer and picked up his glass and she could feel his heat radiate between them. Or was that her? The warmth in her core had now set her on fire. Another quiet moan escaped her lips.

He put his glass down, now empty, and looked down at her with those bright blue eyes. "Somethin' wrong, Rollins?" His Statin Island accent thick with intoxication.

"Mmm?" She looked away from him and steadied herself on the counter. He put an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him to keep her standing. It only made her knees weaker and every place she felt his body on hers set her skin ablaze.

"You a little drunk?" he laughed. "Maybe that was a little too much?"
She shook her head, "No, no I'm totally fine." She placed her hands on his biceps to steady herself and in doing so she pressed flush against him. Suddenly something changed. Where he was relaxed and playful before, she felt him tense up under her hands and his breathing become heavy. She felt his fingers brush her bangs out of her eyes and trail down around her ear and over her shoulder.

"Kiss me." She demanded. Wait, did she say that out loud?

He hesitated. For a moment Amanda thought she'd blown it. They were friends. They were co-workers. How could she think he'd want her that way? But she didn't care. The alcohol had made her brave, even in the face of possible rejection.

"Carisi, kiss me." This time less of a demand, more of a request. "Please."

This time he didn't hesitate. His mouth was hungry and excited, but gentle and soft. He pulled her hips into his. Everywhere she felt his hands ignited her skin, even over her sweater and jeans. Her hands latched onto his arms and pulled on his sleeves, afraid if she let go he'd be gone.

She slipped her tongue across his lips and he accepted. She felt the rumble in his chest and a moan in his throat. He slipped his hands under her sweater and rested them on her hips. He broke his lips from hers and trailed down her jawline and landed on her neck. She gasped as he planted soft kisses on her body. She shifted and pulled his mouth back to hers. She wanted more. She wanted everything. She wanted him. Their feverish exchange slowed until he softly pressed his lips to hers, barely touching. She leaned in longingly but he had pulled back. His fingers still pressed into her skin so tightly she briefly wondered if he would leave fingerprint bruises.. and she secretly hoped he would.
He pushed her up against the refrigerator. The cool stainless steal was a stark contrast to the heat of her skin. One of his hands snaked up into her hair and he pulled her mouth to his. It was rougher this time. His other hand migrated around her curves. His teeth caught her lower lip and she retaliated by pulling away and nipping at his earlobe, scraping the skin gently with her teeth. He groaned and pushed his body harder into hers. She returned to his lips and let him penetrate her mouth with his tongue once more.

She ran her hands across his shoulders, down his arms, and her hand rested atop of his, while he was still possessively holding her leg around him. She could feel him through his slacks. He had moved from her lips back to her neck. She arched her back to feel him. All of him. She couldn't take it anymore. Her hands moved to the buttons on his shirt as he panted into her neck.

"I want you..." she drawled softly into his ear as she undid each button slowly, kissing his chest where each button had been. He groaned again and she helped back him against the kitchen wall. When she reached the last button she was on her knees, kissing the skin just above his belt. She pulled at the leather strap and loosened the buckle.

"Manda..." he whispered. It caught her off guard. His voice didn't sound like he was moaning her name in pleasure. His eyes looked heavy, regretful. She felt her heart jump into her throat. "Amanda, we... I can't do this."
He pulled her back to her feet slowly, but didn't let go. She felt her cheeks burn. His eyes bearing down on her she felt about an inch tall in his arms. Her lips were tingling and numb at the same time, almost like it was all a dream.

She broke eye contact and looked down between them.

"Oh.." Embarrassed that she'd ever invited him upstairs in the first place, she released her grasp on him, but he still didn't let go. She put her hands on his chest. Through his white button down she could feel strong, developed muscles. She pushed herself out of his embrace and stepped back and brushed her hair away from her face. She cleared her throat and tried to compose herself.

"I'm so sorry." She ran her hands over her sweater making her ruffled clothes lie flat again. "I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have put you in this position. Maybe it was too much wine or maybe it's the case. I don't know what's wrong with me-"

"No," he cut her off mid-sentence and walked over to her, grabbing her frantic hands in his and searching her eyes. "No, Amanda, its not that." A smile tugged at his lips. "I've actually wanted to do that pretty much since I met you." His cheeks were flushed. He looked at her sheepishly. "The kiss was...wow...Amanda, honestly. It look everything in me to stop. And its taking everything in me not to kiss you again."

She squinted at him and shook her head. "Then what's wrong?"

He hung his head. "Its this job," he shrugged. "Look, we see it everyday. Something happens and someone takes it a little too far and someone gets hurt. Amanda I would never want to hurt you."

"You aren't going to, Carisi." She flung her arms out to her sides. "I'm the one who started all of this. I'm the one who was about to go down on you. How are you possibly hurting me?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "I mean, besides embarrassing me to no end."

He couldn't make eye contact with her as she was avoiding his gaze. He moved toward her and held out his hands. She turned away from him and put her palms on the coolness of the counter. She felt him come around her, his hands on her shoulders running down her arms and resting on top of her hands. Those hands. So much larger than hers. He intertwined his long fingers with hers. With one hand released he pushed her hair off of her shoulder and she could feel his hot breath by her ear. Her skin tingled in that spot as he kissed her from her shoulder to the base of her neck. She leaned into him involuntarily and her eyes fluttered shut.

"I want you too," he breathed, "but I'm not going to ruin what we have."

She felt him release her. She turned to face him, her hands on his forearms, her body flush against his again.

"Don't," she pleaded, her eyes flickering between his eyes and his mouth, thinking if she looked into those eyes too long she would literally melt into a puddle.

"Don't what?" He ran his fingers through her long blonde hair.

"Don't leave." Her grip on him was tight but she knew if he really wanted to leave all he had to do was move. "Carisi, please, don't go."

His shoulders tightened and he closed his eyes as she pushed her lips against his. "Say my name," he demanded in a whisper through gritted teeth, "Call me Sonny."

"Sonny.." she moaned, "Please, I need you, Sonny."

He wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. She willingly wrapped her legs around his waist and he held her pushed up against the kitchen wall. Her hands were in his hair and his were on her ass. She could feel his hardness rising again.

"Bedroom," he requested.

She shook her head, "Couch is closer. Faster."

"I'm not looking to do anything fast tonight," he growled and bit her lip. He let her legs reach the ground and backed her down the hallway. Both relentlessly pushing each other into the wall, knocking down the few pictures she had put up.

...

She heard the alarm ring but it was still dark out. She turned over to look at the clock. The blurry red digits read "Fri 05:00". That must be a mistake. She never set an alarm that early.

"Sorry, I thought I'd be outta here before that went off," he whispered as he sat on the bed. He was dressed again except for his tie. He leaned across her and kissed her forehead.

She rubbed her eyes and rolled on her side to face him, pulling the covers up over her as she did. "Where are you going?"

He grinned. "Home, Rollins. I still gotta shower and change before work."

She put a hand on his arm. "That was amazing." She smiled sleepily and stretched.

"You're tellin' me." He agreed. "I want to see you again."

"You'll see me at nine." She had closed her eyes and entwined her fingers in his.

He chuckled. "You know what I mean. I want to see you again... like this."

"Mmmm.." She was warm and cozy now. She had fallen asleep in his arms just a few hours ago and wasn't ready to let go just yet. "Come over tonight? Bring a bag. Stay the weekend... You can help me put the baby to bed."

She heard him chuckle again. "I'll make dinner." He bent down to kiss her lips and she drifted back to sleep.