The Honor Is Not Mine
By Iolana Khenemet
653 words / Rated PG
July 2004
Beta: my thanks to Lona Jennings
Summary: Set during the mini-series. Lee is about to participate in the decommissioning ceremony.
Feedback: critical comments highly welcome, mistakes, good lines, anything goes
Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica 2003 is the creation of Glen A. Larson
and Ronald Moore. The characters in the story are the property of Glen
A. Larson and Ronald Moore. Battlestar Galactica 2003 is copyright of
the Sci Fi Channel. Battlestar Galactica is a trademark and copyright
of Universal Studios. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is
gained by this work.
This was just another order to carry out, right? Right. Taking a deep breath, Lee stepped onto the flight deck. He felt as if a heavy punch had connected with his stomach or as if his last meal had consisted of lead.
He was all too aware the ground crew, the other VIPs, the cameras - damn, maybe even a large proportion of the Colonies' households - were watching him. And even though his father was nowhere in sight, Lee was sure his gaze was locked on him; most probably his old man was following the ceremony from CIC.
Deliberately Lee relaxed his right hand - he had clenched it without realizing - and smoothed his features. Years of media interest in the family of William Adama, the hero Husker from the Cylon War, had provided lots of experience in this field. Still, this time he found it hard to keep the cool facade.
There she was, clean and slender, and she demanded his whole attention.
Viper N7242 Constellation.
Memories crashed down on Lee, threatening to drown him, tearing at open wounds that just did not want to heal.
Airbase 42, Caprica.
Dad, himself and…Zak.
That day.
The day the sun had seemed so much brighter, the sky so much more azure. The day Dad had kept his promise to show them his life. How proud they had been to wear a uniform. 'Just like Daddy,' Zak had shouted in excitement.
Lee snorted. Yeah, just like him. And it was just like his old man to want him here today, every bit as selfish as ever. Back then, his father had wanted his children involved in his life because he never was home to involve himself in theirs. Now, about twenty years later, the old man wanted to harvest the fruits sprung from the seeds he had tossed on overly receptive ground so many years ago. If bitterness had substance, Lee was sure he could taste it now.
She waited for Lee, another man's ship, ready for take off, but he heard no Siren's call. Clean and slender the Viper stood, outdated, old-fashioned - the appendix of a man who had succeeded in his career and sacrificed his family for it. This ship his father had excelled in, and the time had come to hand over the torch, to pass on the legacy from father to son – at least that was what the audience thought. Lee disagreed. Today the son had to pay the price.
Approaching the ship and the deck crew, Lee saw nothing but pride in their eyes as they gazed at the ship, but he felt none of it himself. He stopped within arm's reach and pretended to admire the fighter, but in reality he was stalling for time.
The ship was smaller than Lee remembered. A picture of Dad's Viper Mark II had covered the whole wall in front of his and Zak's beds. They had lain there for hours, fantasizing about flying it. And when they had visited the airbase and seen it for real, it had seemed to tower up into the sky. But Lee was not a kid anymore, a kid dreaming about doing what he was about to do now, and this Viper was not larger than any other one in the service.
His fingers lingered over the surface of the Viper, tracing the lines without touching it.
The last time Lee had touched this piece of art, the Viper had hooked her fangs into his skin. Since then, her venom had coursed through his veins, quickening his pulse whenever he launched.
Once bitten twice shy.
Of the two boys who had dreamed the same dream, he was the one left alive. And the dream had just turned into a nightmare again, one he could not wake up from.
Pushing away his thoughts and emotions, Lee climbed into the cockpit as fast as he could.
-fin-