Everyone's heard of Bowling for Dollars. Well, this story is Bowling for House.
This story is what happens when the doctors can't decide on the correct diagnosis for a patient so they settle it in a very unconventional way…they bowl for it!
This chapter leaves off at one more vote needed which will determine the diagnosis. But it doesn't go the way House wants.
Tune in for Chapter Two!!!!!
Let me know if you like??? Thanks
BOWLING FOR HOUSE
CHAPTER ONE
… One, two, three, four steps approaching the foul line…body is in perfect bowling stature…arm is taken back behind him then brought before him. The ball is released.
All eyes of the group standing in the pit of the bowling alley are on the ball. It glides down the lane, heading directly for the center pin, although slightly off, which is where he wants it.
He holds his breath as it nears the head pin … nearer … nearer … nearer …
THE DAY BEFORE:
"It is not," Chase said defiantly. "It can't be liver failure. The creatnine levels are normal and the HGB is low, indicating a properly functioning liver."
"But the Hematocrit is off the charts and Basophils is too low at 3.28. It's definitely liver failure. The patient needs a new liver," Foreman argued.
Cameron sat and watched her two coworkers go back and forth for the next hour about the patient's diagnosis. She was on Chase's side but she didn't want Foreman and her boss to think she was just because they were "knocking boots" in the sleeping lab or in the janitor's closet, or anytime she was in the mood, which was always lately. But she enjoyed watching the two go at each other.
"Dr. Cameron, what do you think?" House asked, making his first comment since he'd walked in at the start of the two doctor's argument an hour earlier.
She looked at him perplexed because he'd been sitting across from her at the conference table wearing headphones, settled back in the chair and had his eyes closed.
"How could you hear us with that blaring in your ears?" she asked.
House gave her an 'I know all' look then said, "I read lips."
"But your eyes were … never mind. I think with the AST being normal and everything that Chase said, that the patient does not have liver damage," Cameron told him.
House's eyebrow rose, he sat up in the chair, took off the headphones and walked to the white diagnosis board.
He wrote on one half of the board:"Creatnine-norm, HGB-low, Hematocrit, Basophils"
He then wrote on the other half:"fever, stomach & back pain, sweats, smelly, blood in urine, bloody stools"
At the bottom of the board he wrote:"No liver failure - Chase/Cameron"
On the next line he wrote:"Liver failure - 4man/me"
"Crap! It's tied. We need some more votes here," House said discouraged.
Just then, Wilson walked into the room. With all eyes on him, he suddenly became self-conscious and asked, "What did I do? House did it! Not me! I was in the …"
"Shut up," House told him. "Liver failure or no liver failure? That is the question!" House asked, throwing his hand up in the air pointing his forefinger, as if he were citing a poignant Shakespearean line.
"You expect me to diagnose the patient only by what you've listed here? What am I? Super-doc?" Wilson said with a laugh.
"No. You're Super Oncologist! Cameron here is Shag Woman; Foreman is Hood Man and Chase is Shag Woman's Slave Boy."
No one in the room laughed. House sighed heavily, walked to Cameron's side, grabbed the patient's chart and handed it to Wilson. House wrinkled his eyebrows up and down, a silent-thought-transport system that House hoped Wilson would pick up on to mean, 'vote for me!'
"Liver failure or not?" House asked again.
"Uh, let me read this, "Snark Man!" Wilson said, exaggerating his voice for dramatic effect, but it came out with a little too much drama.
This time the triplets did laugh but House didn't. He was dead serious. He didn't like to be wrong. And what was worse than that was someone who didn't vote his way when he needed them to.
After a few minutes of Wilson reviewing the chart, he said, "No liver failure."
"WILSON!" House shouted, louder than he thought it would come out. "You were supposed to vote on my side!"
"Oh, is that why you were making those funny faces? Sorry, my bad," Wilson said with a smirk. "Thought you were having a seizure from too much vicodin."
"No…no…no…" House mumbled, his face to the floor, as he headed for the door after he grabbed his cane..
"Where are you going?" Cameron asked.
"You ask too many questions," he told her as he reached for the door handle.
"I know. Where are you going?" she asked again.
"To get Cuddy's vote…I mean opinion," he said as he walked through the door and it shut behind him.
"Oh, no you don't!" all three said as they, too, headed for the door, with Chase pulling the white board behind him.