Nothing Without You
-In memory of you Love, for even when you are no longer here, I shall live for you
She sat, listening to the soft patter of rain on her windowsill, and the ominous rolling thunder in the distance. Raven Roth, the former Teen Titan, and now novelist, sat listening to it, as she looked at all the pictures scattered across the walls and in the different frames everywhere.
She stared at the group picture that had been taken before they all split up a little over a year ago. She missed being a Titan, she missed waking up each day to seeing her friends and saving people, but they were too old to keep it up.
She sat on her bed, looking through the assortment of photos, all of them scattered across her room. What was she going to do with herself, twenty years old, and still reminiscing on the past. She made a quick resolve that she just needed to be outside, and if she took a quick walk, rain or no rain, that all would be better.
As she stood up and began to walk out the door, she passed by an older photo. It was from after they had defeated her father, and Beast Boy had practically begged her to take a picture with him. When she agreed, he'd been ecstatic. It was one of the few pictures where she'd been smiling. It was different for her, to look so happy, cause she was still having difficulties with feeling freely now.
She pulled on her boots and an overcoat, pulling the hood up by habit, and walked out the front door, letting it slam behind her. She didn't care what her landlady would say to her later about being too noisy; she just needed to get out.
She walked down the drenched side walk, thankful for rainproof boots, and trudged along the side of the road, looking up every so often to get fat raindrops in her eyes. As she blinked them away, she still looked toward the heavens as she walked; her mind wandering. She pulled her hair off her face, and realized how much it had grown, now shoulder length, drenched from the rain.
As she continued her little trudge along the sidewalk, caught up in a knot of her own thoughts, not noticing the downpour around her. That is, until hitting something very hard, and falling to the ground, yelping with the pain of the fall.
"R-raven!??" said the guy she'd run into. She looked at him, puzzled at why he sounded so familiar, for she had never seen the tan, sandy brown haired youth in her life. But then she looked at his outstretched hand and green eyes, and said, "Beast Boy??"
He laughed, "Only when Vic's around. He loves picking on me with that, and Kori still does it out of habit. Where've you been Rae? I haven't seen you since the team split."
She gave him a ghostly smile, and said, "I haven't been around much, I travel."
She smiled a bit wider, looking over his features, and how little they'd changed, but she realized that, they really hadn't changed outside of the color. He still looked like Beast Boy, and still had the same face and voice as Beast Boy, but now he was Gar.
"Well then, Gar," she said, trying the new name out for size. It wasn't too bad, but it caused such a flow of emotions that even with her freedom to feel, the mailbox behind her blew up. He looked at in shock, "Still got that old problem I take it?"
She let out a small chuckle, which made his eyes grow wide. "You know Rae, I missed you, you're the only titan I haven't seen after all this time."
"I know I haven't come around much, but I've been busy. I'm sorry, I just figured that since I'm not a Titan anymore-"
"That you're not welcome? Of course you are! I'll welcome you with open arms anywhere I go," he stated, a small smile on his face. She looked at him and gave him a small smile as he held out his arms to emphasize his point. She went over and hugged him, so happy to be near someone familiar.
"I missed you, ya know, your sarcasm, your small smile, your scent…" he said letting go of her, "I'm meeting the others this evening too, if you'd like to accompany me."
She chuckled again, and he added a small, "I made you laugh too!"
"Beast Boy, I don't know, do you really think they'd be glad to see me?" she asked, and unwavering tone of sadness in her voice.
"Raven, I know they'd be glad to see you, and Kori will be ecstatic, I know I was sure glad to see you again, but I whished you'd take that hood down, I can't see your eyes at all," he replied, a slight grin gracing his features.
She pulled it down, to comply with his request, "Why do you want to see my…"
She blushed when she looked into his fierce green eyes and saw that he was staring directly at her. "Yep, those are the same elusive violet eyes that have haunted my dreams for the past year."
She took a small gasp, "What do you mean?"
He grinned a little, and leaned down towards her, whispering, "What do you think?" Before leaning in and taking her lips with his own.
She relaxed into the kiss, and melted into it, kissing him back. When they released each other, she replied, "I think I love you too."
(AN: This is where the tragedy comes in, so if you just wanted the fluff, this is where it ends.)
She stood, her eyes filled with tears, at the one who lay before her, his green eyes looking at her, and filled with desperation.
"Rae, I love you, always know that, and don't… forget me… but don't waste precious time on me, my life is ending, but yours isn't… Rae… I love you…." He said, the desperation turning to submission, and tears running down his face. He looked at her, and pulled her down into one last embrace before he parted with her.
She felt his body go limp, and the tears she had been struggling to hold back began to flow like a never ending stream. She cursed every god of every religion she knew for taking him from her, after only seven months. They had finally, after all the years of helping one another, and dealing with each other, and then secretly liking each other, they'd admitted their love.
And now he was gone, lost to her, and everyone else that had ever known him. And she sobbed over him, both preying and cursing, just wanting him to be back with her, wanting it to not be so alone, and wanting that steady sound of the heart monitor to go away.
It wasn't until several days later at his funeral service that the tears ebbed into a trickle down her face. She thought back on his words, 'My life is ending, but yours isn't…'
She would go by his word, and she would live for him, even if her life couldn't be with him. And she began to cry again, she rubbed her slightly bulging stomach, and thought, At least he knew, before he left. At least he knew.
No one else saw or questioned her rubbing her stomach, for they all paid attention to the service that was occurring. No one saw the violet eyed girl get up and walk out of the cemetery, face strewn with tears. Nobody even noticed that it started to rain… Except for her.
AN: This is a true story, apart from some details, no I was not, nor am I pregnant, but yes, most of this happened to me. I felt I should write about it to possibly help others in the future who, even though I hope they never have to, may go through the same thing. I also want to state that this is a painful subject for me, but I am happy for all of the comfort offered to me. Thank You.