Spontaneity is not your thing. Never has been. You're the type to meticulously plan out every course of action down to the last detail, to ensure everything is perfect, to account for all possible mistakes and come up with alternatives just to make sure everything goes off without a hitch. People would never believe you if you told them that a shit-ton of work goes into being a coolkid. But the fact of the matter is, it does. It's not a lifestyle for everyone, you've joked on more than one occasion. Or people would believe you're joking anyway. But you weren't. It's incredibly stressful, keeping up the visage of a "I don't give a damn" coolkid who does whatever he damn well pleases whenever he damn well pleases. But no one seems to understand it.
Except maybe English. And sometimes you wonder if he actually does. But he seems to have some idea of why you seem tired and a bit touchy from time to time, so you attribute it to him believing you. He always says that you really should drop the "silly facade", that people would like you whether you were a so-called "coolkid" or not, but you've grown so accustomed to this constant precarious tightrope walk between having it all together and completely losing your mind that the thought of actually letting loose is an entirely foreign concept.
But the more you talk to him, the more you find yourself considering this "seize the day" mentality, if only for a short while. To do whatever you want, whenever you want-only for real. The thought of it makes you nervous, but as Jake leads you along the shoreline of his Pacific island home, his hand squeezing yours reassuringly, you cannot help feeling compelled to give is a shot. The look on his face a few moments after you brush your lips against his tells you all you need to know.
You ought to have tried this out sooner.
Carpe motherfucking diem.