Chapter One:

Sad Life Stories and an Uneasy Rest

I sighed, pulling out a bite to eat from within the darkness of our cupboard. Mom was still seated at the dining table, her head rested in her hands, and her eyes filled with steady tears. I couldn't face her again, not after what I had just told her…about my father. I always knew he was a two timer, but it was only up till now that I found the courage to tell her so. It wasn't my right to tell, but I had to end her questioning suspicions. Slowly, I strode over to the table once more and placed a hand on hers. She looked up at me with cool, dark eyes, any traces of the happiness she had felt just hours ago had disappeared. Slowly, I pulled my hand back and began to eat the ration I found within the cupboard. It soon became hard to drown out the sound of my mother's pointless sobbing, and I grew irritated with it. But what was I supposed to do? Being only eight, I didn't have a choice at the time being. I could only hope for an ok outcome. My mother, still upset, got up from her seat a bit later, and walked into the living room. Probably to rest, I thought slowly, getting up from my own seat to go see where she had gone, just in case. Indeed, she covered herself with a blanket from atop the couch and wrapped herself within it and lay down. I walked out of the room and up the stairway that would take me to my own room. I was truly tired, and I needed rest that night. I knew, that in very few years, I wouldn't be able to watch over my mother like this…eventually I would be leaving.

Mother had offered me a wonderful chance to leave home…To excel in my abilities. You see, I was Force-sensitive. My father had been as well, but going against the Jedi code, he fell in love with my mother, and the two married in secret. This was a strange surprise to everyone else when they finally figured out what had happened between young Kyp Durron and Angel. Yeah, I was the infamous daughter of the rogue Jedi. It was a strange title indeed, and I was as if marked for it. Everyone thought of me to be just like my father. It almost upset me…Don't get me wrong, I loved my father, but he was well…He had his own thoughts in life, and I had mine. Still, I couldn't help but feel anger towards him for marking me like this. What's the point in life if you're considered a reckless player before you get into the game? Nevertheless, I changed out of my normal outfit, consisting of a loose black tunic from my father and a pair of tight fitting jeans. He had given me the tunic, and it had once been his, and I loved it. I was more one to love something that was passed down…and not so feminine. I would be more comfortable in my father's black tunic, than in a simple gown or dress for a ball.

I threw on a shirt from the edge of my dresser drawer and a pair of shorts. It wasn't too cold out that night…though we did live on Csilla. Many people lived here, but it seemed peaceful enough. Being eight, I was quite okay with the cold climate and the ableness to get ready for the night by myself. My father was rarely home anymore, and some presumed him to be dead, but I knew better. I knew that I would have noticed his death if something did happen to him. Still, I couldn't help but worry…I mean…what if he was hurt, or worse..? I was still worried. Jumping into bed, I heard the familiar creek of bedsprings as I settled in, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I soon heard footsteps coming up the stairs and to my door, which I had originally closed. The handle twisted, and my mother stepped in, her hair falling in strangled pieces upon her shoulders. She smiled thinly down at me. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her, and she hugged me back. She sat down beside me and I smiled.

"Goodnight, Kirrana. And thank you for telling me about your father. I'm sure he'll be home soon, so just go to sleep and I'll have him come say goodnight to you, alright?" She asked me, and I nodded with a happy-go-lucky smile.

"Yes, Mom. I'll go right to sleep." I lied.

I knew what was going to happen. There would be another fight, and mommy would end up hurting Dad. It happened often, though I was insisted that it was the other way around. But still, I saw many of the bruises and cuts in Daddy's arms and legs and back. He had gotten injured as well. Still, I nodded some more and lay down, and Mother covered me back up. She then kissed my forehead and got up. She shut the door behind her as she walked out.

I stayed awake that night, and I remember hearing the door screeching open as Daddy walked inside. Soon, I heard yelling…both my parents' voices rose with their anger, and soon, I heard the familiar sound of a vibroblade. I knew it was in my mother's hands. I snuck out of my room and stood at the top stair, hidden within the small frame. Mom had Daddy pinned against the ground, and the vibroblade was held at my father's neck. Mom whispered something vile to him that I dare not repeat…Just before bringing the blade down. My father's light cry left into thin air as he faded away. Through the Force, I felt a horrible sense of loss and pain, and I fell to my knees at the top of the stairs. I felt myself falling forward, but could do nothing. I felt arms around me, and I knew that my mother's blood stained hands had caught me. I suppressed a scream and attempted to get up, but I couldn't, for she held me still in her arms. Finally, I was able to get away from her, and she set me down upon the floor near the stairs.

Slowly, I got to my feet and strode over to the form of my long gone father. Being only eight, I could barely take in the fact that he wasn't just merely sleeping. I brought up a shaking hand as I reached out to run my small fingers across his cooled cheek. I heard Mom saying something to me, but I didn't catch it as I scooted closer and rested my head against my father's chest. He was still warm, but I could hear no heart beat, and nor could I feel the faint rising and falling that would mark his breath. He was gone. After about a moment, it finally hit me…the fact that I would never see him again. My mind went numb, and I could feel nothing…Unconsciousness took me like a wave from the sea.

That was all I remembered that day, and I still care not to. Though the dreams still come back to haunt me, I find that I am still safe. I remember waking up inside a sort of med room, and I remember a man standing over me, telling me everything was going to be alright. As I awoken further, he told me what had happened, and I nodded my dizzy head as if hearing this all for the first time. But I knew what had happened, back that day…on my eighth birthday. I remember. I soon found out that my mother had been ordered a death sentence, and I found myself able to accept this. It was her fault. But even now, as I sit here…pen in hand, I still wear my father's loose black tunic with a sense of pride. As do I wear my tight black jeans, and a weapon's belt with my father's blue bladed lightsaber clipped firmly to it. Finally, I got up the nerve to set down my pen and the paper I had used for writing and stretched lightly. I was sixteen now, and well capable on my own. My room, the four delicate stone walls that surrounded me, belonged within the famed Jedi Temple upon Yavin's fourth moon.

A sudden knock at the door called my attention to it, and I strode sluggishly over to the door and opened it so that only a crack would reveal my face. And of course, there stood the only one I would trust with this knowledge. His name was Zen. I had known him for only a month or two; he was my first friend here. His pale face was always surrounded by dark, nearly black hair that touched his shoulders. His eyes were a vivid green and dark, surrounded by circles signifying years of suffering…I knew the feeling. He was my age, and he wore strictly black. A black tunic…almost matching mine, a pair of black, knee high boots and a pair of nicely fitting black jeans…in my opinion, he was…rather cute. Nevertheless, I sighed as I let him in and shut the door quickly behind him.

"What are you so hyped up about?" He asked me in a light tone, taking a seat upon my bed and taking up the notebook I had been writing in.

He was the only one I would trust with that notebook. Not even Master Skywalker would be able to. Still, eventually, I was sure someone would find this notebook, but I couldn't care less right now, because now it was safely within my possession. Nevertheless, I took a seat beside Zen and sighed as I leaned back against the cushion of my bed.

"I was…writing." I answered softly as I watched him page through my writings.

"Ah, alright. Sorry to barge in on you, but Master Skywalker is calling us all together." He sighed, and as did I.

I soon felt that desperation…the annoyance that tugged at my mind and soul. I had no wish to cry again…So I tried to hold back. Zen was also the only one who'd ever seen my cry. It wasn't in my nature, so he had left the room that time. I didn't want it to happen again, so I reached up a hand to brush across my face as I turned on a heel.

"Well, we should get going…" I started, but I soon felt his strong hand upon my shoulder, and I turned to face him.

The look that held in his deep vivid eyes was enough to set my tears free. He pulled me into a hug, his arms wrapped around my shoulders. I rested my head against his chest, for he was a bit taller than me, and his chin rested upon my head. I cried for a while, and when the tears finally ceased, I continued to lean into my friend, hoping that my trust in him was worthy. I assumed so, for he pulled somewhat closer and his hands shook. I could feel the shaking against the tunic I wore, and I grew almost worried, but continued to lean into him, as if wishing never to back away again. I could feel my heart breaking as I thought back to that day again. Rarely ever did I cry anymore…and for a while I thought I had lost the ability, but it was easily regained as I put all my tears and trust into the black tunic of my friend's.

Finally, for his comfort, I lifted my head and looked up at him, tears still glistening within my eyes.

"I'm alright." I told him in a shaky voice, and he moved to let go, but I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled a bit tighter.

"I-I just want to stay here a bit longer…" I sounded childish in my own ears, but he nodded slowly and pulled me back close again.

He smelled deeply of worn leather, as well as the outside, and a soft smell of cologne. I loved the scent. Of course, with my head rested against his chest, I closed my eyes and listened around me. I so desperately wished to stay, but I knew that we needed to get back to Master Skywalker. And, I was sure Zen was going to go crazy, for he never expected me like this. He only knew the hardcore woman that I was, besides the time I cried while telling him my 'life story'. After about five minutes, I felt him switch legs and assumed that he was growing tired of standing. So, I let go and backed away, letting him stand up fully, and allowing me to stretch a bit.

"Well, shall we go find our master?" I asked in a calm tone, a whisk of a smile upon my face.

"Yeah…if we must." He replied with a smile to match mine.

We both strode out of my room and I shut and locked the door behind us. Together, we strode down the stairway, our boots clicking against the stone flooring. Normally I would have been barefoot, if not for the incident a few days back when one of the students had carelessly dropped a glass item upon the floor. Master Skywalker had forced me to wear shoes. In my opinion, shoes were made by the Sith…to torture feet. Nevertheless, we soon reached the meditation chamber where the others, and Master Skywalker sat, all of them looking up at us. I gulped, and I felt Zen tense. We slowly made our way to the front and bowed in unison to our master.

"I'm sorry, Master. I was caught up in my writings…Zen simply came to find me…" I tried to explain, but he cut me off with a wave of one hand.

To my surprise, he smiled.

"Just take a seat, Kirrana, Zen." He gestured to the back of the room where there were left two spots upon the stone floors.

I tried to pay attention to Master's lesson, but I found my thoughts dwelling upon the one who sat beside me. He was no doubt curious as to my emotional break down, not to mention a few secrets that I regarded telling him, like my mother's abusive ways. That and I refused to tell him my father's name. Only Master Skywalker knew…out of all of us, that is. Sometimes, I still will walk the streets of Courscant, and many will point me out and name me as the "rogue Jedi". It doesn't help that I look a lot like my father. Deep emerald eyes, slightly curled dark brown hair, and a toughly, yet well built form. Still, it upset me. My thoughts then switched that moment, upon the only memory I had of my father…other than the stories…which had been proven to be true. It was an image of him and Mom one night, as I sat at the bottom step where I'd listen. Dad said something about love to Mom, and I couldn't quite make out her soft tone as she replied. Then I could finally pick up my father's voice.

"I love you, with all my heart…and as do I love Kirrana, but what are we going to do? She'll have my reputation to deal with…" Kyp argued softly.

"No, she'll be just fine…but if you were ever home you would know this—" She cut off angrily, and Dad backed away a little; Mom had been holding a vibroblade.

"I'm sorry…but I can't always be home…" He tried to speak…tried to explain, but Mom thrust out the blade and cut a small slit within his neck.

"I know that…but you're never home…" Mom sank to her knees, and dropped the weapon at her feet.

Dad rushed over to her and knelt down. I could easily see the blood glistening as it dripped and streamed from the slit in his throat.

"It's alright. And I'm sorry." He cooed to her softly, and motioned to me…

I grew worried at this…being only six, I thought Mom would hurt me too…or I'd be in trouble. Still, I came forward, and Dad wrapped his arms around me in a soft hug.

That was a good memory, but it soon was broken as Master Skywalker called my name. Zen elbowed me in the side and I sent him an evil glare.

"Kirrana, wait for me for a few moments, the rest of you may go." He announced, and everyone slowly left the room.

Zen and I stayed behind, and I only grew worried when Master told Zen to leave as well. I knew where Zen would go. He would be kind and wait for me in my room. Master Skywalker watched the boy leave before turning back to face me.

"Kirrana, I'm worried. I know your life is still in turmoil, but you need to pay attention. I just wish your father was still alive, he was a great Jedi Master…though rarely did he follow the rules."

At that I winced, and he put a hand upon my shoulder. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to insult you."

"It's alright, though the remarks do grow irritating." I told him softly.

He gave me a swift smile.

"You may go now. If you're hungry, there are plenty of trees still around, and we got another shipment of nerf meat." He told me.

Yeah, I lived with Master Skywalker. He was my adopted guardian. There was nothing wrong with this, and at least he didn't pretend to be like my father, or something. I strode up the stairway and into my room where I soon found Zen curled up upon my bed. I knew he was asleep, for his chest rose lightly as he breathed, and his eyes were shut lightly. Slowly and quietly, I shut the door and strode over to my bed. I took the notebook from the other side, as well as the pen, and began to enter my journal for the day. When I had finished, the air around me had grown slightly darker. I thought about waking up Zen, but figured he needed his sleep. Quitetly, I tiptoed out of my room and shut the door behind me to walk into the empty halls of the Jedi Temple. It was peaceful…and silent, the way I liked it. I soon walked out into the open air outside the temple doors and roamed around the very front. After a few moments more of walking, I soon spotted Master Skywalker atop the Jedi Temple, his cloak ruffling in the soft night breeze. Slowly, I began to climb, hoisting myself up with physical strength rather than relying on the Force. I soon reached the top and took my stand beside my master. He regarded me with a gentle smile, and I asked the question that had long since been running through my consciousness…the one I dare not ask till now.

"Master, could you tell me about my father?"

"Of course."

We both took a seat and he began at the beginning.

"Your father was a wonderful Jedi…"

When we finally finished talking, I was both amazed and once more in tears. Master wrapped his arms around me and told me that I should be proud of my heritage…And believe me, I am. I plan to write this all down in my journal/planner. It was nearly morning now, and the winds that picked up were growing warmer. The air was still darkish, and my Master and I walked into the stone building we both chose to call home. Bidding him goodnight, for I could still catch at least a few hours, I strode up the stairway and into my room. I found Zen still asleep upon my bed, so I curled up at the very edge. I cursed as I realized that he was now fully awake.

"Kirrana?" He spoke my name softly into the darkness.

"Yeah, Zen. I'm here."

I heard him shuffle within the covers of my bed, and I saw his silhouette upon the wall in front of him. And of course, as usual…he had thrown off his shirt, and now sat, bare-chested upon my bed. I shivered lightly in the cold as I sat up as well and smiled up at my friend.

"Hey." I said in a light tone, and he smiled back.

I could see the faint moonshine upon his bare shoulders and his face as he turned back to me.

"Where've you been?" I heard him ask.

"Talking with Master Skywalker. He told me all about my father."

As I said this, the room took on a deep sense of stillness. It was an uncomfortable uneasiness…and Zen finally ended it.

"I'm sorry for taking your bed…I sorta fell asleep." He smiled nervously and I waved a hand.

"It's alright…It's nearly morning now."

"Have you been up all night?"

"Yeah."

Again it was silent, and I rested my head against the back of the bed. I had learned so much in just the last few hours, which it took me a moment to comprehend. I loved the stories Master told me, about how my father stole the Sun-Crusher, and stuff like that. I also learned of his fight against the Yuuzhan-Vong…Though the war was over, they still lived near. It was almost scary. I looked over at Zen, whom was stretching on my bed, and noticed a dark scar-looking piece against the other's side. I reached out and brushed my fingers against it, and I felt him tense completely.

"What?" He snapped at me, and I fell silent, my hand snapped back into my other, as if he had slapped me away.

"I-I just wondered…what's that?" I asked in a nervous voice, one he had never heard before.

He blinked once before finally coming to an answer. "From when I was younger…My mother used to abuse me…and sometimes my father. They drank a lot, and my brothers and I would sit at home and wait. Our care-giver was an old nanny droid."

I sighed lightly.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to dig up memories…" I started to say, but he perked up as if nothing had happened, and smiled over at me.

"Nah, it's fine…Everything's better now…" His tone was a happy-go-lucky sort, and I flashed him a small smile. After yet another agonizing moment of silence, I sat up, crawled over to the only person I've ever trusted…(other than my father and Master), and sat beside him, resting my tired head against his warm shoulder. I felt him shiver for a moment before resting his head upon mine and taking my hand in his.

"We're a lot alike." He whispered into the silver moonlit darkness of my room.

"Yeah…" My voice trailed off into a yawn as I felt him move to wrap a blanket around me.

I took the warm blanket gratefully and leaned into Zen. His arms wrapped around me gently, and again I smelled the smooth scent of cologne. I heard, as well as felt, the rain begin to pound upon the temple's stone roof, and was soon lulled to sleep. I was sure that Zen would be awake for a while, and entrusted him to wake me up when needed, so I let myself sleep. I felt him shift twice before entering deep sleep, and I cuddled closer.

As I woke the next morning, I realized that I had only slept for an hour or two. I stretched a bit and then noticed the weight across my lap. Looking down, I found myself staring upon the military enforced form of my best friend. Out of plain curiosity, I lifted a hand and gently ran my fingers across his well built form and felt him almost shudder beneath my hand. I laughed lightly, as if not to wake him up, and then found myself looking down at that scar. It looked as if only a few months old, and as if he had done nothing to keep it from infection. But nevertheless, it was healed over…for the most part. Stretching again, I prepared to wait until Zen awoke, but out of the corner of my eyes I saw his own emerald green eyes open. He smiled lightly up at me, and then a frown marred his features.

"I'm so sorry…I'll get up…" As he moved to sit up, I felt his body, or at least his back, cringe.

He fell back into my lap, a look of pain holding deeply within his vivid emerald eyes. I gave him a curious look, and switched it to a worried one. Even through the Force, I could feel a deep sense of pain, fresh, but seemingly ripped from within. Gently, I picked up my hand that was resting against the scar marring his left side and found it covered with blood.

"Whenever I think about my mother…The pain comes back…" He said in a light, pain faced voice.

"Do you want to just stay here…I could go tell Master—" He cut me off quickly.

"No! He doesn't know of my past. I just…I'll be fine. Let's go downstairs for breakfast…or better yet…we can walk through the forest." He perked again, as if hiding something, and attempted once more to get up.

Worried and feeling sick at the blood covering my hands, I pressed a hand against his chest and forced him gently to stay down.

"You're not going anywhere. Zen, I'm worried…What happened to you all those years ago?" I asked him softly.

He looked away nervously. "I'll tell you when we have time."

"Than it looks like we are going for a walk…A long one." I wiped off my hand upon the side of my bed, and helped my friend off my lap.

Another shot of pain hit me, through the Force, and I looked down at Zen. I sighed lightly before slipping my arm beneath his shoulders and pushing him up gently. He left my room with a light bow in thanks, and I waved to him.

"I'll be down in a few moments…Just let me get dressed." I told him, and he nodded.

"Yeah, same here."

We parted, and I dug through a pile of clothing for something somewhat decent to wear. I soon came up with a black pair of jeans, looser this time and a tunic dyed an emerald color. Throwing up my long silken hair, I walked out of my room quietly, for the hours were still worthy of sleep. No doubt Master Skywalker had chosen to get some rest as well. I met up with Zen in the meditation chamber and we both were soon on our way out into the warm morning air. Since we all judged time by the position of the sun, I was in a bit of a spot as I looked up to see the moon just falling, and the sun just beginning to rise. I decided to walk a bit ahead of Zen, whom seemed now to have a slight limp to his gait…or it was just me. Nevertheless, I chose a spot over to the west and headed in that direction. The trees and plants around us were covered with dew, and swayed lightly in the warm breezes as we walked past. Some of the vines grabbed at my hair, and some held thorns that cut my shoulders, but I paid no attention; Jedi didn't care. Soon, we reached a large pond-looking area, and I turned back to face Zen.

"Well, here we are." I told him, and he eyed me suspiciously.

I grinned, taking up the edge of my tunic and stripping down. I had remembered my swim suit from not too long ago, for I had an obsession with water. I had learned of this place a short while ago, and knew of the hot spring's healing abilities. So, I dropped my clothes to the ground and stood a moment, waiting for Zen. He just stood there staring. Reaching up a hand, I tapped his shoulder and raised his chin with a finger.

"You coming or not?"

I was sure he was confused as to the real me. Sometimes I was deep, dark and depressed, while others I smiled and said everything was okay, and just recently, I was the sort to cry in the arms of a guy whom I met not long before. It was strange, but fun on my part.

"Well…" He spoke softly, but nevertheless stripped down until he was simply in a pair of black shorts.

I was the first to step into the warm, soothing water. I strode out into it until I could no longer touch, and I swam off to a ledge that was in the very middle of the pond. Zen followed me, swimming quite well. I took a seat on the stone ledge and sighed lightly with a smile upon my face.

"Now then…I've told you a lot about me…now it's your turn." I said, as if expecting to know everything he had to tell.

"Well…When I was young, my mother and father were both drunkards, they would leave me and my brothers home to fend for ourselves. Like I said before, our watch was a nanny droid that needed desperately to be updated. They would come home drunk and sometimes pass out on the couch, or in their bedrooms. One day, my parents got into a fight over something…Though I was too young to recall, maybe about eight…" He paused momentarily. "Anyways, I heard them yelling, and after a few moments of hiding with my brothers in our kitchen, I heard a sound…I think blaster-fire. Nevertheless, I strode up into my parents' room and saw my mother upon the floor, a hole within her neck. Blood dripped from it, and I remember screaming. My father grew angry, but soon dropped the gun and passed out upon the floor. I walked over and picked up the blaster and looked it over."

Zen scooted up closer, for he had been sliding off into the water, and I sat up a bit more.

"At that moment, an Imperial trooper, probably one whom had been making his normal rounds, walked into the room, fully armed and looking down at me. He had taken off the helmet, and his face was that of a disgusted man. He took me in and left my brothers home alone. I was taken to the Chiss Academy. I was there for quite a few years, I think about five or six. Anyways, I finally got out, for one of them discovered my Force-abilities, and I was taken here."

I sighed lightly when he paused. I felt the urge to cry once more, but ignored it as I slipped off the ledge and began to swim for a moment. Zen followed me, but decided shortly on being lazy and floating on his back.

"So…The Chiss Academy…Is that why you…seem, well…Stronger…?" I asked, and realized that he knew what I meant…He had sensed me this morning, staring down at him…admiring; his cheeks flushed red for a moment.

"Well, yeah."

"So, basically you came from a family of drunkards, a Chiss Academy…and then to here…to work with the most famed Jedi Master?"

"Yep." His reply was straightforward and just.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I have a bad reputation as well." I cut off right there. There was one thing Zen didn't know about me, and the only reason he didn't was because I refused to tell him…I wouldn't tell him my last name. I refused. He would hate me…or judge me like all the others…

"Kirrana…There's one thing you've never told me…" He spoke softly, but I could sense his nervousness through the Force. "…What's your last name? I mean…you've spoken highly of your father…but I'm curious to know who he is…"

May hands shook horribly as I lifted myself back up onto the rock. I had to tell him. He should know.

"Kyp—Kyp Durron. Durron is my last name." I said in a slow, dark tone.

He shot me a confused look.

"Kyp…wasn't he the 'rogue Jedi?'" He asked me, and I nodded.

"You were given his rep, weren't you?" He asked yet another question, and I nodded, tears now welling up in my eyes.

"Well, what's to be ashamed of? Your father did many good things. I, as well as the rest of the students, learned about him before you came." Zen smiled softly at me, and I smiled back, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Don't be ashamed of who you are." He said softly, taking me into his arms.

I rested my head against his chest and sighed softly. He set me back down within the deep water, and we both lay back within the warm spring water, for what seemed like a favorable forever…

-

Okay, i know that was a little weird, but i wrote this a year ago, and wanted to know if anyone liked it...plz review...begs desperately...i thought this was a good story idea-tho not my best...TY!

Fallen