Bringing all necessary medicines and bandages Ritsuka sat between my legs. I watched as he slowly brought the wet towel to my arm and started to wipe the blood away…
"am I hurting you?"
"no.." I shook my head.
It was something so new for me….I was surprised, confused…..and maybe even happy?...Why was Ritsuka doing this? I closed my eyes and remembered how Seimei always left me after the battle. He would close the door behind him and I`d stay in my cold room…alone and broken. It`s not like I couldn`t take care of wounds….just the fact that he could leave me like that… He would look at me with his emotionless face and I could see the hate in his eyes..he hated that I was dirty…broken, weak. This look hurt more then any wound could…
I jumped a bit when Ritsuka touched the scar on my neck.
"I`m sorry.."
He looked so worried…I didn`t want him to worry about me. I don`t deserve so much attention… I watched as he cleaned my wounds carefully..his fingers became bloody…the blood…I couldn`t allow this
"Stop it Ritsuka...you got dirty. Wash your hands...I`ll finish it myself.."
He looked at his hands and then into my eyes
"No. You`re wounded because of me...so I should fix it. And it`s not a dirt Soubi..it`s blood"
That sounded so strange…..so good…he didn`t hate to touch me... I felt somehow special… I closed my eyes only to feel small fingers gently touching me …
"Did I hurt you? Soubi what`s wrong?"
Ritsuka gently touched my cheek and wiped away wetness there…only then I realized I was crying…
"It`s nothing…"
I covered my face with my hands quickly...I had to calm down...I didn`t want him to see me like that. To show my emotions..it was unforgivable… Then I felt Ritsuka hugging me carefully. His small body pressing lightly against mine.
"I don`t know what`s wrong , but it`s ok Soubi.."
He started playing with my hair and I hugged him back, burring my face in his shoulder… it was so nice to be held…to be taken care of… I felt happy but afraid…comfortable but confused.. was it really ok for Ritsuka to treat me like that? …. I closed my eyes again. I couldn`t help but compare him to Seimei…I loved Seimei , but it was so different with Ritsuka… He pulled away gently and finished bandaging my neck. We talked about what happened that evening and then he left.
"Good night Soubi"
he smiled before closing the door…
"Good night…"
I touched my neck gently…. I was left in my room again but I didn`t feel alone any more….
It`s not very depressive yup?.... review please ^.^ (sukidayo Soubi)