I never really knew how much it hurts.
You can't.
There's no way anyone could.
It burns in the pit of my stomach.
All I want is to curl into a ball shrivel up and die.
It hurts so much, but not on the outside.
No, its inside, like my soul is bleeding and there is a red-hot poker shooting right through.
I only wish, I could make it hurt outside as much as it does inside.
Then I could wash the pain away with a few piles.
But that kind of pain just might kill me.
Though I am going mad from what I feel right now.
Why did I let this happen to myself?
Why did I offer my self up on the damned alter of love, hoping that she would love me back?
She didn't.
Now it burns.
Why?
I knew it would.
It always does.
Every time I think it will be different.
But it never is
Sometimes I think it would be better not to try, not to say anything, and just stand there silent.
But that hurts just as much.
I just want not to feel this.
Not to feel at all.
So I take my emotions and tie them up tight.
Then pack them away.
Shove them into the deepest darkest corner inside me.
Then I hope that's where they'll stay.
Locked away.
Sealed up tight.
Until next time someone makes me feel again and I fall back into that trap and I get hurt all over again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's it I bared my soul. I know this may not seem to relate to flcl and really it doesn't. But this kind of pain can transcend a topic. If you think it needs to relate just think Noata is saying this. If you don't get it than your lucky, you haven't felt this yet. Read and review if you like. I don't care I got this off my chest, and I'm feeling better for it. Thanks for your time.
-Nicholas Desselles, blackman