Title; Merry Christmas

Summary; Kyon never really saw the point of Christmas, but the girls around him did.

Notes; For SASUKE'S PENIS IS ANGRY. And dayum, did I use alliteration! I'm sorry about that, it's just I do it subconsciously.

-X-X-X-X-X-

Christmas.

Known to many as a joyful time, full of the happiness of giving presents and receiving them from a fat man in a costume. A time where you place wrapped gifts under a fake tree and slather your house in decorations while placing mistletoe in convenient places to get a kiss out of the person you like, but end up with someone you really don't.

As you have probably guessed, I hold as much love for Christmas as I do for Haruhi's annoying antics in blackmail, threats and sexual harassment. While it is a good time for getting things you want while giving cheap chocolates in return, I don't believe it deserves the hype it does. It's a time where parents, aunts and unknown distant relatives go broke while children get fat.

Oh, and it gives Haruhi an excuse to rebuff admirers with the courage to confess and give presents all dinner, and as I think this, I can see Haruhi place her head down on the desk with her arms across the length of it as some poor, stuttering fool gives her some present that looks expensive. Haruhi lifts her head up lethargically and glares at the guy till he gets the hint and walks away, sweating buckets. Haruhi glances at the fancy gift bag then slowly replaces her head on the desk, sighing in what I assume to be boredom, and it signals another job for Koizumi.

As the rejected guy walks back over to us, attempted to brush off his rejection as nothing by grinning like a cheshire cat, I slap his back and smile grimly.

"Nice try, Taniguchi, but getting through to her is like trying to empty the sea with a spoon."

Taniguchi laughs shakily, smiles and runs his fingers through his hair while squinting his eyes. "I wasn't exactly serious; I just wanted to see how she'd react!"

. . . Sure.

Taniguchi looks at me suspiciously and raises an eyebrow. "What was that?"

I raise my hands in my defence and smile stupidly. "Nothing!"

It's true, though, I didn't say anything. Why is it people seem to read my thoughts? Ah, never mind. Now is not the time for science questions! This is the time for cheering up Haruhi so I can spend Christmas Day in peace without ESPers and Aliens and Time Travellers reminding me about closed spaces.

I approach Haruhi hesitantly, and she acknowledges me with a grunt and a question. "Kyon, why is there nothing interesting that people give to me?"

I sigh and face palm. "What about that present?" I say, gesturing to the present Taniguchi left.

Haruhi lifts her head up and stares at me. "Don't be dim, Kyon." She snaps. "That's not interesting."

I look at Haruhi for a while before replying. "How do you know? You haven't opened it."

"Well I just don't get an interesting vibe from it."

The whirrings of a suicidal mind make themselves heard. Turning round, closing my eyes and folding my arms, I say to Haruhi. "You're wrong. I saw him wrap it, and I can safely say it's very interesting."

There is a short pause.

"Liar."

Came the uncertain reply.

I turn around and protest. "No, honestly!"

The look on Haruhi's face was like that of a child who can't believe their parents when they give in to taking them to Disney Land. To disappoint her now would be shameful of me.

. . .

Ah well.

"Honestly!" I continue. "It was supposed to be for his friend, who was a," I stop for a minute, contemplating what to say. I decide on a factor that would be most acceptable, one that exists and is strange at the same time. "A cultist, but then he fell out, and decided that you'd be interested." I shrug my shoulders. "But if you don't want it . . ."

I reach for Taniguchi's present, but Haruhi snatches it away before I can get a grip. I glance at Taniguchi and notice his hopeful look, and I hope Haruhi will have the decency to pretend to be happy.

"K-Kyon!"

I wince and slowly turn to look at Haruhi's joyful expression, and I feel a little confused. Then, when I see the small, detailed collection of paranormal creature figurines, including mythological animals, all compiled onto a large wooden base, I understand Haruhi's glee. It's the perfect present for her, next to finding these in real life.

"It's brilliant, I know, but quit gaping! It's not even yours!"

I realize that I am gawping, and I stammer an apology before I run off to talk to Taniguchi.

"That was an amazing idea." I gush, glad Haruhi won't be rampaging for a while now. "Where'd you get it?"

And before Taniguchi can say anything, the bell signalling the end of lunch rings, and I sit down, happy that Haruhi will leave me alone for the rest of the day.

.

I was right!

Haruhi didn't even talk to me once, nor did she make any acknowledgement that I existed. It was so quiet I felt like sleeping, but Okabe-sensei is deadly with a piece of chalk, maxing out all aspects of power, speed and technique. If I were in another position, I would envy his fluid flick of the wrist.

As the end of school approached, Haruhi shot out of the classroom before the second ring reverberated through my ears, creating a trail of upturned desks and yelling students lucky to get away with their lives in her wake.

I sighed and rose from my desk, knowing she would want me at the clubroom immediately, mourning the fact my break from Haruhi's insanity had ceased so abruptly. Still, I was glad for it, but marched towards the SOS Brigade's clubroom with a heavy and aching heart.

Aching for what?

For Asahina-san's new Christmas themed costume, of course!

Now usually I dislike it when Asahina-san is forced to dress up in these ridiculous costumes, but this time she saw the theme of Christmas and sense in Haruhi's logic, and reluctantly agreed. She is truly a goddess, to be able to do something for the betterment of others around her at a personal disadvantage. Asahina-san, you are a role model to all other girls! Your kind and gentle attitude will get you far in life, as nothing you can do you can fail at!

As my mind wanders, my body wanders also, though the destination is the same; Asahina-san's location!

I find myself at the SOS Brigade's clubroom, staring at the door, hand floating over the handle indecisively. I find my heart is pounding, and I can't bring up the courage to open this gateway to heaven.

. . . But out of the corner of my eye, I see Nagato gliding down the corridor with soundless steps, and it's almost like she's floating over the tiles. Damn, that ghost-walk of hers scares me quite a bit, though the petite girl makes surprising speed considering her small frame and normal, small paces, and in no time she's standing beside me, also staring at the clubroom door. Slowly, she turns her head to look at me, with her lavender hair falling over her curious amber eyes.

"I was just uh . . ."

Nagato waits for me to continue my stammering.

"W-Waiting for Haruhi."

Nagato nods slightly and turns her head once more towards the door. "Data scans show Suzumiya Haruhi is already within this space."

I know she is, of course, but that was just an excuse to stall my entering this room.

"I see."

Was Nagato's reply, and we resumed staring at the door, but Haruhi must of heard our conversation, as the door was flung open from the inside and Haruhi beamed at us from the clubroom interior.

Nagato had no hesitation about hovering towards her usual seat, though Haruhi had move it to the window, and I think she cares about Nagato's happiness a bit more than she lets on, as while this gesture is nothing much to Haruhi, I think she knows it would make Nagato happy to be able to sit next to the window.

As Nagato sits down, (is that a surprised face?) I definitely can see some happiness, expressed in microscopic proportions.

"Kyon."

She doesn't sound happy. What's going on? "Haruhi?"

"Stop ogling Yuki."

I'm not ogling Yu- Nagato.

"You're staring at her. If that's not ogling, well then . . ."

Oh, right, well, whatever.

I move my gaze from Nagato and they explore the rest of the room, seeking Asahina-san. Sadly, it seems she is not here yet, though I can see Koizumi smiling at me, and I know that stare as a 'don't annoy her further, idiot'. I sigh and nod in response, and by noticing Asahina-san's absence, I am bored with this scene already.

Sitting down in the chair opposite to Koizumi, I ask him if he would like a game of Othello. Grinning his stupid fake grin, he asks if he can talk with me later, about something I'm "closed-minded" about. I have a little trouble figuring what he's saying, since I'm open-minded to things that are legal, but I realize he means a closed space. I agree, and Koizumi smiles and nods.

"I have been practicing Othello." He begins. "But I bet I'm not a match for you!"

I sigh and place my first piece, knowing full well Koizumi will be at the same level as always.

.

A couple of Othello games later, a few Haruhi recon missions and several hundred book reads for Nagato later, I hear manic footsteps pounding down the corridor. I consider my options.

Haruhi is in this room, so it can't be her. Asahina-san running like that is like winning a game of chance with a conman, so the only other people I know that would run like that are . . . Tsuruya-san and Asakura, and if Asakura is back, Nagato would tell me and we'd deal with it.

And as I come to the conclusion that it is Tsuruya-san, the door is flung inwards, and a long, dark green haired girl wearing a maid costume peeked in and yelled, "If you want to knows where Mikuru is, she's trapped in a wardrobe rights now!"

Haruhi stood up immediately and asked if she needed rescuing, to which Tsuruya-san shook her head so much I thought it would fall off, and proceeded to rampage down the corridor giggling like a maniac.

It seems the initial amazement of Taniguchi's present has wore off, and after showing it off to Nagato who doesn't care and to Koizumi who smiles and calls it lovely, Haruhi got bored easily. While Tsuruya-san's unique entrance has diverted her boredom somewhat, Haruhi has quickly dismissed it as a mundane activity, and that Asahina-san manages to get trapped in wardrobes all the time.

Grumbling, Haruhi placed a pen on her upper lip and pouted, effectively holding it up there for a while leaving me wondering how the hell she could do that. Still with the pen on her lip, she said, "You can all leave now, I'm bored." Thinking on it, she added, "Except you, Kyon. You gotta stay here."

.

After everyone packed up their things and left, Koizumi motioning he'd talk tomorrow, it left me and God in the same room together. I could almost feel the frosty bite of winter through the heater we blackmai- I mean, got off that poor old man.

Nervously, I turned to face Haruhi, but she looked away and started fidgeting. I didn't want to say anything, since I might say the wrong thing, and time is rewritten or something, so I just stand here, my eyes wandering and examining everything except Haruhi.

Finally, she speaks.

"I got you something for Christmas, Kyon."

She says, and holds out a small, red package with my name on it and a yellow ribbon around it. I take it hesitantly, expecting it to blow up or something.

"But I know you don't believe in Christmas, so I know you didn't get me anything, and I don't want anything because that present doesn't mean anything, you understand?"

I smile and reply. "Yeah."

She smiles back and winks at me. "But there's a shop down there, 'cuz all the upper years want to sell unwanted presents. Plus I hear everyone else got you presents, and I think Yuki and Mikuru would be a little hurt if you didn't get them anything."

Yuki?

"Yeah. Trust me, you're gonna love her gift."

It's not that. Why would Yu-. . . Why would Nagato be hurt?

"She's not bought anything for anyone else, and she seems to like you somewhat, so . . ." Haruhi trails off, then frowns and pokes my chest aggressively. "And you know how moe-like Mikuru is."

I nod and step backwards, to which Haruhi waves and exits the club waving happily and then I hear her take off down the corridor.

I examine the parcel before I open it, but then deciding to open them all later rather than each one as I get them. I am about to shake the present before I realize it could be breakable, and I place it in my bag, which is relatively empty anyway, for safekeeping.

I actually agree with Haruhi when she says that I should buy gifts for Asahina-san and Nagato, especially so for Nagato! The reason being that, if Nagato does indeed give me a present, then that would be a massive thing for her, because she actually expressed a want for me to be happy, I guess, by the definitions of Christmas in a holiday.

Miss Asahina . . . Oh I'd get her a gift every day, simply for her existing to grace my life with her presence. I can imagine her grateful smile now, in her Santa outfit, bringing out a beautifully wrapped Christmas package and handing it to me nervously.

"You stills here, nyoro?"

Tsuruya-san's voice brings me out of my trance, and I see her face in scarily close quarters with my own, and my surprise causes me to fall backwards onto a chair. Tsuruya-san laughs at me and flicks her hair, still in her maid costume and I wonder what possessed her to wear this.

"That's megas sad, nyoro. But I gots you a gift anyways!"

Tsuruya-san laughs and brings out a flamboyant box that was bright orange and had lots of stickers on it, and I presumed this was Tsuruya-san's personal way of wrapping things. I wasn't really bothered; because it had a certain charm in that no matter how I looked at it I was always interesting. I should keep this box . . .

"For Christmas an' all. Buts I also gots ya one you can gives to Mikuru, 'cos I knows you forgots to get her one."

Tsuruya-san brings out another box, but this one looked like I had got to it. It was average in size, I guess, and had wrapping paper that said 'Merry Christmas' in gold on the dark blue background, with a card on the top that I was likely to buy. As I glanced at Tsuruya-san's smile, with her fang resting what in, what looked like, a comfortable position on her bottom lip, it makes me wonder how she knows how I wrap presents.

"That's a megas big secret, nyoro. Let's just says that Mikuru helped withouts knowing it, nyoro."

I took both the presents from Tsuruya-san's hands and placed the gaudy container in my bag along with Haruhi's, being careful as not to knock it, while I held Asahina-san's gift in my left hand. Glancing inside my bag, I smile in amusement as I notice how similar Haruhi's and Tsuruya-san's presents are, but how Tsuruya-san's seems a whole lot less intimidating. Probably because it doesn't herald the end of the world, but you know, small details.

"You're megas weird, Kyon." Tsuruya-san says, raising a green eyebrow at me. "But be sures to give that present tos Mikuru, nyoro."

"Don't worry." I reply. "I will."

"Seeyas around then Kyon, nyoro. Merry Christmas an' all thats."

Tsuruya-san waves and runs out the clubroom, smiling insanely. That girl has so much energy, maybe even more than Haruhi, but she seems more responsible, and would be better off with God powers.

Smiling to myself, deciding Tsuruya-san wasn't all as insane as she pretended to be, and was very reliable indeed, I placed the blue gift in my bag above Tsuruya-san's and Haruhi's.

.

I found myself facing Asahina-san in the school library with Tsuruya-san's provided gift, stuttering as I tried to find the words to say why I was giving her a present and not Tsuruya-san or Haruhi. Her adorably confused face was making this doubly hard, so I sighed and gave up, handing her the present and hoping for the best.

"K-Kyon-kun?" She asked, her eyes gleaming as her hands held the box so delicately, and I felt myself falling in love over and over again. She looks at me, tears in her eyes, and she bows down at a 90 degree angle. "T-Thank you so much!"

"No problem, Asahina-san. I hope you like it."

At this point I wonder what is in this package as a scratch the back of my head, embarrassed. Asahina-san must be thinking the same, because she is examining the package with fervent interest, and the concentrating look on her face is absolutely beautiful.

Asahina-san must have noticed me staring at her, as she bowed again, apologizing for being absent at the Brigade clubroom and, while blushing, scurried off outside the room, then came rushing back in a moment later with a cute gift bag. Wishing me a merry Christmas, which I returned, and holding my gift tightly in her hands, she fled from my presence once again.

I smiled and waited till I could see her near the school gates with her present, and I watched her from the window. I laughed at how she turned round and waved to me. I waved back, and as she smiled and hurried off the threshold of the school, I lowered my hand and remembered the reason I was at the library.

I had wanted to ask what Nagato wanted for Christmas.

Swearing, I headed off for the stand that the older students were supervising, and I hoped to God they'd have something she liked. With all she's done for me, the least I could do is to buy her a simple present; something to make her feel appreciated, if not make her happy.

I speed down the corridors to the stall on the grounds, and I scour the goods they have to sell.

A teddy bear? Nah, because Nagato wouldn't see the sense in being bought a piece of fabric stuffed with a plant. She wouldn't complain, but it wouldn't feel like it had much thought been put into selecting the gift. So the next thing along then, to the next stall.

A tea set? God, some of this stuff looks so expensive . . . But anyway, a tea set. Well, I know Nagato has an endless supply of tea in her apartment, and she seems fond of the set she already uses, so I don't want to push her to pick between the two, so that's out. Moving along . . .

A guitar? Well, I know she's good at it, but would it really be useful in an apartment like hers with such thin walls? Sure she could use data manipulations to alter the sound vibrations, but would she have fun playing it? I can't be sure, since Haruhi forced her into the last time. Who would get a guy a guitar for Christmas, though? The guy at this stall looks at me, practically begging me to buy this from him. I shake my head and mutter an apology, then move on to the next stall.

This . . . A beautiful snow globe with frosted glass and a person contained within the bubble of heated sand, sitting on a chair while white flakes danced and fell around it. A person that looked stunningly familiar, with the sunlight filtered through the sphere and lit up the scene inside as each ray of light reflected of the artificial snow and caused the sight to glitter marvellously, not to mention the glasses that shined like stars, hiding the eyes behind them. The figure was astoundingly detailed, and the lavender hair flopped over the glasses just like how it used to when Yuki would sit by the window with the setting sun illuminating her petite figure.

As I turn my attention to the base, I gasp in amazement.

The pattern was of a stereotypical winter evening, with a cityscape that involved Santa Claus streaking across the midnight sky with his eight reindeer, leaving a trail of twinkling dots and snow where the reindeer's hooves hit the top of the children's houses. In a garden, children that look strangely like Haruhi, Asahina-san and Koizumi stand, looking astounded and pointing to the full moon, in which there was a shadow of a snowflake, also intricately carved into the round, luminous satellite.

I check the price tag and sigh in relief; it's within my price range. I speak to the boy with my money out, and he laughed at me.

"Take it for free, because I can tell you really like it."

I thank him profusely, and he offers to wrap it for me. I accept the offer and as he wraps my gift to Yu- Nagato, I shuffle from one foot to another, eager to see what her reaction will be. I hope for something I know won't happen, a smile, because it would be nice to see her that happy after all she did for me. I stand thinking like this for a while until,

"Oy." The boy thrusts the wrapped globe in my hands and winks. "Treat her well."

And with these words of enigma, he disappears to Haruhi knows where. I guess he must have packed the table up and everything when I was daydreaming.

Looking at the elegantly wrapped square, I almost cry out in anticipation.

.

There, at the school gates . . . is that . . ?

The girl turns towards me, sunlight reflecting on her frame just perfectly, making her look more divine than usual. Her flawless face is framed perfectly by her hair, floating gently in the cold, seasonal breeze. The bright sun of winter exemplified her natural charm a hundred fold, making her eyes shine with the life of the universe. Oh god, her standing there, just as she normally does, in this environment, in the lonely school yard made me think of how out of place she must actually feel.

It may be strange to refer to her as such, but no stranger than how I have referred to her in the past.

Suddenly becoming more aware of the weight in my hand, I think of the girl I was going to give it to. I hesitate slightly before calling the girl standing near the school gates and jogging over to stand next to her.

As the sound reaches her ears, she turn to look at me approaching her with the same eyes she always does, yet I find my mind associating her faze with one of adoration. I presume it must be this setting, but right now, she truly is angelic. I notice the thing she is holding in her hand, and I notice her lift her hand up to hand it to me.

Unlike the others, her gift isn't wrapped or presented in any way other than the plain, green frame that surrounds this group photo.

As I inspect the photo contained within this rectangle of painted wood I see Haruhi's bored but content face, Yuki's slight upturn of the lips, Miss Asahina's flawless smile and tear-filled eyes, Koizumi's large and genuine smile, Tsuruya-san's wink and large grin then my own downturned eyebrows in an expression of dislike at Haruhi's act of ruffling my hair, though I'm smiling broadly. I feel largely nostalgic as I see Taniguchi and Kunikida smash in the side of the photo, trying to get in, with Asakura Ryoko checking to see if they're okay and if I concentrate on the background, I can see Kimidori Emiri staring out on the school grounds with a smile on her face.

In the corner of the photo, a stamp that reads; 'SOS Brigade 2010!'.

Even with Asakura's appearance in this photo, I know that this is the perfect thing she could have got me, and it only makes me happier to see Asakura there, since it reminds me of the time where I could be blissfully unaware of the strangeness going on around me.

I feel slightly guilty for the last minute gift, thinking of how much trouble it must have been to coax this picture from Haruhi's grasp, and when I stare at Haruhi and Tsuruya-san's happy faces, I feel bad that I didn't either of them for their gift.

Swallowing my guilt, I nervously hand Yuki my gift and hope that she is as happy with it as I was with hers, though I know that is impossible.

"You can open it now, if you want." I add, knowing she wouldn't know what to do with it otherwise.

She nods and he hands expertly disassemble the wrapping paper without ripping it slightly. I laugh, amused by how easy she is to predict sometimes, and hope for the best reaction. As her small but powerful hands remove the wrapping paper and dispose of it, I can see her eyes widen and hear a sharp intake of breath, and I realize that Nagato Yuki is very, very surprised.

"It is. . ." I can see her searching for words. I have left her speechless, and I'm hoping with pleasure. "Beautiful . . ." She breathed.

Yuki's emotionless voice had completely disappeared, overtaken by her awe.

I, the normal guy in the SOS Brigade, next to God and a Time Traveller and a ESPer... Not the supernatural, paranormal beings that Haruhi wished into existence... Not the brilliantly powerful other members... I, a normal guy who, if I were anyone else, Yuki would completely ignore... I was the one to make the emotionless organic alien robot feel something to such a degree...

Right now, I feel like the most important person in the world, and I cannot stop myself when I lean in to kiss her.

-X-X-X-X-X-

Kyon calling her Yuki isn't a typo.

If you want, Nire, I can do an extra chapter of what it's like when the others get gifts from Kyon and Kyon's reaction to their gifts?

And, by Nire I mean SASUKES PENIS IS ANGRY., but if ya'll want a new chapter, I'll write one? I can also write a new story. Because I'm bored and CBA updating any existing ones.

And well... you can leave the kiss to your imagination, I can just say that Haruhi won't be pleased tomorrow...

-X-X-X-X-X- [bored so spoiler 4 next chapter]

Watching from the second floor of North High's school building, a person cursed as it watched the two figures at the gate walk home with their hands intertwined.

Growling to themself, the shadow clenched its fist and smashed it through the sheet of glass it was previously watching the two characters through.

As the tall one turned back to examine the noise, the being gasped and hid itself behind the nearby wall. Praying to whatever higher power was out there that the tall one had turned back round, the silhouette hesitantly peeked round the broken window's frame to see the two walk round the corner down the street.

"Shit..." The being whispered. "I can't... let this happen..." It punched the wall, feeling the warm blood trickle down from its knuckles and onto its palm. "It wasn't supposed to be like this..." It punched the wall again, and seeing the cracks spread round the place where its fists were hitting, the being growled. "Maybe... I could try again..."

The being clutched its bleeding and aching hands and leant its head against the wall, feeling the trickling of salty water down its face and seeping into the newly created grazes. "But that's... impossible..."

"I can't..." The figure sank to it's knees. "...I can't exactly rewind time..."

...

"That power isn't mine..."