Paint War, a monsters inc. fanfic

Random one-shot. OOCNESS. MAJOR AU.

In this story, the event with Boo never occurred. Randall and Waternoose aren't bad guys. But Randall is still a jerk ;) (Randall fangirl since childhood XD)

I do NOT own Monsters Inc. Nor paintball.

X.X

Sulley was in the middle of a nice sleep when all of a sudden his phone started ringing. Groaning, he sleeply got out of bed and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he yawned.

"Sullivan!"

"Mr. Waternoose?" Sulley asked.

"I need you to call everyone other scarer and tell them to report to the factory immediately!" Mr. Waternoose sounded frantic.

Sulley looked over to his digital alarm clock and saw the time: 12:00 a.m.

"But its twelve in the morning!" he whined.

"Please James! This is important!" Waternoose sounded very frantic now.

"Fine." Sulley sighed before hanging up.

Just then Mike came out of his room with his little teddy bear in his arms. "What's with all the noise?" he asked tiredly.

"Waternoose wants us to call everyone else and report to the factory." Sulley replied.

"At this time? But it's 12 in the morning!" Mike whined.

"That's what I told him! Look, just call Randall for me. Okay?"

"I'm not gonna call him! At this time? He'll want to kill me if I do!" Mike said with a terrified look in his eye.

"He already dose Mike." Sulley sighed. But before he knew it, Mike had already ran back in his room. Sighing again, he dialed Randall's number.

Randall's apartment :D

Randall wasn't a happy lizard. He put on his glasses before walking into his living room while muttering curses.

"Do you know what time it is?!" he hissed once he picked up the phone.

"Sorry Randall," Sulley yawned, "But Waternoose just called me. He wants all the scarers to report to the factory ASAP."

"Why?" Randall growled.

"I don't know. But he wants us to head to the factory."

"Fine. I'll call Fungus and let him know." Randall sighed.

With that, Sulley hung up.

"Moron." Randall muttered before dialing Fungus's number.

30 minutes later...

All the scarers and their assistants soon arrived to the factory. All extremely sleepy and tired. Once inside they were greeted by a wide awake and rather happy Waternoose.

"This better be good." Randall said, folding his arms over his chest.

"I've just decided that we should have a paint war!" Waternoose announced happily.

Everyone stared at their boss with dumbfounded looks.

"You mean to tell us that you had Sulley call everyone and wake them up, JUST FOR A STUPID PAINT WAR?!" Mike yelled.

"Are you flippen high?!" one monster yelled.

"I was high in '75. But that's a different story. You see, I was watching The Pruge-"

Everyone groaned.

"the other day. And then I was watching the Hunger Games-"

Everyone groaned even louder.

"a couple hours ago and it got me thinking. So I came up with the idea to let you guys blow off some steam with this paint war! I bought the paintball guns and everything!"

Everyone looked at one another before looking back at Waternoose.

"Yeeeeeaaah. We're just...gonna go home now." Sulley said before he and Mike turned around.

"I've got better things to do." Randall mumbled before heading for the doors too. Soon everyone was starting to follow them to the doors as well.

"The winner gets a PS4." Waternoose added.

Everyone abruptly stopped in their tracks and looked back at Waternoose.

Five minutes later...

Everyone was in the scare floor wearing goggles and holding paintball guns.

"Here are the rules:

Rule 1: You cannot get hit."

"What happens when you do get hit?" a monster asked.

Waternoose chuckled. "You have to do the Gangman style dance while wearing a top hat in front of a camera which will be posted on YouTube the next day. And you cannot stop. Because the song will be stop on REPEAT." Waternoose said repeat in slow motion.

Everyone gasped.

"Rule 2: You CANNOT hit your own teammate." Waternoose was looking at Randall when he said this.

Randall snapped his fingers in disappointment.

"Rule 3: If your partner gets out, then too bad for them because you'll be officially screwed. More like sitting ducks I should say."

The scare assistants gulped.

"And finally, Rule 4: Last man standing by sunrise is declared the winner." Waternoose finished.

Everyone exchanged competitive looks, clutching their paintball guns tightly.

"Now, when I blow this whistle, the game will begin five minutes later. By then I want everyone to separate themselves from the others. Your goal: Hunt down, and kill." Waternoose then slowly brought the whistle to his mouth.

Everyone was sweating in anticipation.

Waternoose brought the whistle to his mouth. And...

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

"Whoops!" Waternoose chuckled before picking up his phone. "Hello?" he asked.

"Hello Amanda." a deep, eerie voice replied.

"Who?"

"You don't know me. But I know you."

"I'm sorry, but who is this?" Waternoose asked.

"Wait, uh, wrong number." the caller said before hanging up.

"Awkward." a random monster said.

"Oooookaaaaaaay then. Let's begin!" Waternoose said before finally blowing the whistle.

Everyone gasped and they quickly sped out of the scare floor in a speed only seen in cartoons.

"Gah!" George gasped when he realised he and his assistant were left. "I'M DOOMED! I'M DOOMED! I'M DOOMED! I'M DOOMED!" he yelled while running in circles with his paws in the air. His assistant merely shook his head.

Meanwhile down the hall, a giant blue reptile monster thing and his assistant were hiding.

"I-I'm so scared. W-what if we get out before the game even starts. WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Claws cried.

His assistant then slaps him. "Keep it together man!" he said fiercely.

Randall and Fungus were hiding in the behind a door in the hall. Randall had his paintball gun clutched tightly in his hands while peeking out with a fierce look in his eyes. Fungus was scared as crap.

"U-um, Randall?" he asked shakely.

"Shut up!" Randall hissed.

Both Sulley and Mike were hiding in separate bathroom stalls in the men's room. Although Mike was having a tad bit of trouble standing on the toilet.

"5," Waternoose suddenly said over the intercom, "4, 3,"

Monsters were preparing to jump or run.

"2, 1!"

Sulley immediately jumped out of the stall. But Mike accidentally fell in the toilet.

"Uh? Sulley! A little help here?!" he yelled.

Claws's assistant immediately jumped out their hiding spot. "You ready for this man?!" he yelled, cocking his paintball gun. But when he looked over, he was dismayed to find him actually running down the dark hallway. "I'M SORRY PAL!" Claws yelled.

His assistant turned around and soon found the muzzle of two paintball guns pointing directly at him. Their owners cocked them.

"Aw great." he sighed.

Sulley was busy trying to pull Mike out of the toilet when the intercom suddenly burst to life. Except it was so loud that Sulley had to cover both his ears.

"Whoops! Sorry about that folks. Claws's assistant! You-are-OOOUUUUUUUUTTTTT!"

"Well there goes someone." Sulley said.

"JUST GET ME THE HECK OUT OF HERE!" Mike snapped.

After a half hour of trying to get Mike out of the toilet, he eventually succeeds. But Mike had to take a shower. For another half hour.

During that entire hour, at least a few more monsters fell victim and are now dancing until dawn. Waxford, who unfortunately lost his partner, was struggling to carry two paint ball guns. He nervously made his way down the dark hallway, keeping himself on full alert. Thanks to his many eyes he felt assured.

"Hey Waxford!" a familiar voice suddenly yelled.

Waxford turned his eyes to the direction of the voice, only to get hit by multiple paintballs.

"Waxford! You-are-OOOUUUUUUUUTTTT!" Waternoose yelled over the intercom while Gangman style played in the background.

Waxford looked sad.

Randall and Fungus were walking through the office section of the building when they suddenly came a across a small box that was under a small light.

"Hey Fungus, you should check that out." Randall said.

Fungus looked dismayed. "Me? Why me?" he asked.

"Did you just question me Fungus?" Randall said slowly.

Fungus gulped and cowered a bit when Randall towered over him. "N-no?" he squeaked.

"Then check out the BOX THEN!" Randall yelled.

"Yes sir!" Fungus yelped before approaching the box. He nudged it with his gun, but nothing happened. "Huh." he said.

It was then that Randall peered a bit closer when he noticed the label. It read:

Warning: This contains a crap load of paint used during a paint war. If touched, it will blow up in three minutes. Thank you and please shop at Todd's Paint War store again :D

Randall's eyes widened in terror and he immediately bolted out. "IT'S GONNA BLOW!" he cried before finally running out.

Fungus stood there in confusion. But then the small box blew up and paint splattered all over the place. Fungus was completely covered in it.

"Fungus! You-are-OOOOUUUUUUUUTTTT!"

Fungus sniffed sadly.

Sulley and Mike were cautiously walking down the dark hallway. They had already missed two hours of the game thanks to Mike.

"Hey!" Mike yelled.

"What did I do?" Sulley asked.

"Not you! The author!" Mike yelled while pointing at the author's screen.

Well it's kinda true Mike. I mean you slipped in the toilet like, twice.

"Because you made me!" Mike yelled, crossing his arms angrily.

Well sor-ry. I'm the flippen author of this fic so I can do whatever I want in it. That, and I'm a human.

"Oh, yeah! Well we're monsters!" Mike said smugly.

Actually your just a bunch of made up characters for a kids movie in 2001. By now, some of those kids are older.

"Well with Monsters University coming up, it might bring back some childhood memories." Sulley added.

True that. But can we PLEASE continue with the story? Your probably scaring the readers away.

"Well you started it!" Mike yelled.

Can it Wazowski.

"Ooooooh." Sulley snickered.

Back with the story, Sulley and Mike made their way down the dark hall. The place was quiet. A little too quiet to be exact.

"Why do I have a feeling that someone is watching us besides the author and readers?" Sulley asked.

*Facepalms*

"I have no idea. I just want to win that PS4!" Mike said.

Just then they heard what sounded like a paintball cocking. Sulley turned around just in time to see George, who lost his assistant, fire a paintball directly at Mike. But he was too late to say anything. Mike turned around just as it hit him. The green monster then fell to the ground in slow motion.

"Nnnnnoooooooooooo!" Sulley said in slow motion as well before hitting George with a large round of paintballs.

"Aw man! I was so close to winning!" George whined.

Sulley immediately ran to Mike's side and picked him up gently.

"Mike! Mike! Say something! Speak to me buddy!" Sulley cried.

Mike coughed and looked at Sulley. "Sulley? *Cough*"

"I'm here Mike." Sulley said tearfully.

"Sulley *Cough* you have to win this." Mike whispered as if he were dying. Which he wasn't.

Sulley sniffed, "Don't worry buddy. I'll win. I'll win that PS4 for you."

Mike smiled. "Go. Leave me here." he whispered.

Sulley and picked up his and Mike's gun before walking away sadly. George was crying during the whole thing because he thought it was a beautiful site.

"Mike and George! You-are-OOOOOOUUUUUUTTTT!"

"M-Mr. Waternoose?" a monster asked while dancing to Gangman style for the ELEVENTH time. "I'm tired!" he whined.

"Less talking! More dancing!" Waternoose yelled.

Everyone whined sadly.

Due to the author's laziness and is running out of ideas, she has decided to fast forward two hours later.

It was almost sunrise and there were only three monsters left surprisingly. Sulley entered the lobby silently and found a flag with the PS4 symbol on it.

"Congratulations to the remaining three. It is almost sunrise. Before that, you must grab the flag before anyone else dose or without getting out. And since it's the finale I'm gonna play some Nightcore music!"

Dam dadi do dam dam didoodi dam

Aw great. But this should be a piece of cake though, Sulley thought. But just as he walked into the large area, a paintball suddenly flew by but missed Sulley by an inch. He immediately duck down.

When the morning come come

I'm dancing like I'm dumb dumb

And when the groove is high

When dummies jump to the sky

"Nobody's getting that PS4 but me!" Claws yelled before shooting again.

Sulley stayed down and fired a shot at Claws. He was honestly surprised that claws had actually survived the night. But maybe it's because he hid like a sissy. Because he is a sissy. Sissy.

If you feel the groove groove

the dummies have to move move

can you feel the beat the beat the beat

The shot missed Claws and he fired back in retaliation.

You never tell me what is wrong

'cause now it's time to be alone

let me love you everyday

So long you let the dummies play

"What's with the Nightcore music?!" Claws called before shooting.

"I don't know! Maybe its because the Author made him!" Sulley replied before shooting back.

Dance to the beat dance dance to the beat

Claws finally rolled out of his hiding place and brought out a portable gatlin paintball gun and fired at Sulley, who was frantically running around the room with the shots so dangerously close behind him.

Dam dadi do dam dam didoodi dam

Sulley some how found a box of paint grenades and threw one at Claws. Claws gasped and immediately ran out of the way before it blew up and covered the area in paint.

Dance dance to the beat

Claws realized he had ran out of ammo in his gatlin paintball gun and angrily tossed it aside.

"Hey Claws!" Sulley yelled.

Claws looked up to see Sulley holding a paintball rocket launcher and fired at him.

They tell me let's come home home

The party going on on

We only have to dance

Do dummies fall the trance

Claws screamed like a little girl and jumped out of the way in time.

If you feel the groove groove

the dummies have to move move

can you feel the beat the beat the beat

He then brought out two paintball guns and started to shoot at him with them. Sulley did the same.

You never tell me what is wrong

'cause now it's time to be alone

let me love you everyday

So long you let the dummies play

"It's almost over Claws!" Sulley yelled, "Give up!"

Claws stood still, holding his paintball guns tightly.

Dance to the beat dance dance to the beat

And then, out of the blue, he did something that was totally unsuspecting and random.

"LEEROOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEENKINNNNNNSSSS!" he yelled before running directly at Sulley while firing both his paintball guns at him.

Dam dadi do dam dam didoodi dam

Everything suddenly became slow motion. Sulley was just standing where he was, surprised by what Claws just yelled. While Claws was running at him like a total maniac.

Never tell me what is wrong

Let me love you everyday

The two were now inches from each other...

Dam dadi do dam dam didoodi dam

And then all of a sudden a random little box suddenly landed in between them. Claws stopped and the two looked down.

"What the heck is this?" Claws asked after nudging it with his foot.

Sulley shurgged.

Unfortunately they didn't see the label which was present on the small box. Which read:

Warning: This contains a crap load of paint used during a paint war. If touched, it will blow up in three minutes. Thank you and please shop at Todd's Paint War store again :D

And then the thing blew up in their faces, covering them in paint.

"James and Claws! You-are-OOOOOOOUUUUUUTTTTT!"

Sulley looked over to the front desk. But for some reason the flag wasn't there anyone. Suddenly he heard a whistle. Sulley and Claws looked over to the desk. They heard a chuckle and Randall revealed himself to them. He was sitting on the desk with his arms crossed.

"Looking for this?" he asked before revealing the flag with his tail.

"Gentlemen! Let me announce our winner: RANDALL BOGGS!"

Sulley over to Randall and whispered, "How?"

Randall merely chuckled, "What can I say? The author loves me."

And then the intercom came back on. "But EVERYONE has to clean up the mess they made." Waternoose announced.

"Awwwwwww." Everyone whined.

"Hold on a sec! Can I ask one favor though?" Randall then asked.

Epilogue

Randall was happily trying out his new PS4 in the Media Center of the factory. Sitting behind him were Sulley and Mike, who were forced to watch him play until he was finally finished and brought it home. They had upset expressions on their faces and had their arms crossed.

Randall was in the Middle of playing Battlefield 4 when he suddenly paused his game and looked over his shoulder. "Hey Mike? Wanna give this thing a try?" he asked.

A hopeful look suddenly appeared on Mike's face.

"Tch. NOT!" Randall said before turning back to his game while laughing.

The hopeful expression disappeared from Mike's face and that angry looked was back on his face. Just then Mike's phone started ringing and he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mr. Dagen." a deep, eerie voice said.

"Um...I'm Mike Wazowski." Mike replied.

"Darn it Hoffman! You got the wrong number again!" the caller yelled.

"It's not my fault!" a man yelled in the background.

"You better get the right numbers before I use the reverse bear trap on you!"

"How about you stop being a lazy old man and ma-"

Mike immediately hung up after that.

End :p

X.X

Two words: No Flames.

Please R&R and have a nice day/night ^-^