It was raining.
Heavy, almost droning the sound of comfortable silence inside their headquarters, their home, in his opinion. He'd been standing by the window for God knows how long, eyes never leaving the tallest tree in the nearby forest which is almost fading from his sight due to the heavy downpour.
He'd never been fascinated with rain, or paid attention to it in the course of his life. But then, with nothing to do inside the room with nothing but a rickety table and a worn-down chair in one corner (for he has cleaned every nook and canny of the said space, and actually finished his paperwork, for he takes his work seriously), the world outside in a complete haze, seemed intriguing to him.
He'd been staring at his reflection for a long time, too. Fascinated by the quirk of his eyebrow when he thinks of something witty, and the flash of his eyes whenever he hears something scrape against the uneven floor from the other rooms, he focused his attention only to himself.
That was until she strode in.
She dragged the lone chair by the corner next to where he stood, humming a silly song she heard from a kid in the nearby town. Her hair was a tied mess as always, her goggles askew as she traced circles on the windowsill. He would have left if he wanted to but Irvin assigned him this room and so he stays. And so does she.
The room is enveloped in silence, not that he cares, a comfortable, lulling silence that one wishes for in the midst of a brutal fight, a silence that caresses tense shoulders and fogged minds. He spared her a glance, which she did not notice (oblivious to him as always) still humming that song. He shifted and cleared his throat, hoping she'd get his message to leave.
"Ne, Rivaille." His eye twitched, maybe he should've verbalized his thoughts instead of putting it to action. "Have you…" She halted, eyes faraway as if searching for something that has been long lost and never to return, "have you ever thought of life outside? Outside the walls, I mean. You know, the world Eren and that kid Armin has been spouting about the other day. The world where humans rule and live freely, have you?" She didn't look at him, but with the tone of her voice he knew she was serious. And she wanted answers.
Casting his eyes at the candle burning low on the table, he shrugged, "No. I actually never cared nor thought about it at all."
At this point, she turned around, auburn locks flying widely, mouth agape and eyes wide. "Eh? But… but… what… then what's the purpose of killing those titans then, if that's what you think?"
He rolled his eyes and brushed some lint off his shoulder with a scowl, "Jeez, Hanji, do I really have to answer that?" A cackle of the dying flame caught his attention and he strode towards the table. He passed by her, uncaring, until he felt the warmth of her fingers on his wrist.
"C'mon. We've nothing to do, Rivaille. The rain won't stop any minute now and I bet it'd continue until tomorrow morning, why not answer my question?"
He turned his attention back to her, before finding his nails more interesting. At her prompting, he sighed and flashed a dangerous look. "To kill. To kill without restrictions. To kill without suffering the consequences of my actions. Other than it's what Irvin ordered, that's the whole reason why I do this. Once you start, you can't stop it: The thrill, the hunger for the power that you feel, the thirst for blood—anything that satisfies this side of me."
At the shocked look on her face, he scoffed. "Why? You thought I'm some kind of hero that dashes in to save those poor souls from death?"
Or someone who wanted to protect somebody?"
Or someone driven by vengeance?" He shook his head. "Sorry to disappoint, Hanji but I'm not like that. I'm not like Eren who does everything without a single thought, often ending up careless for the sake of saving others; driven by vengeance for the lives he'd lost; or boosted by dreams of life outside these walls. I have nothing to protect, nothing to see outside that wall. I'm not, Hanji. I'm not like him at all." He added softly.
At this point, Hanji threw her head sideways and laughed. "Oh, Rivaille. Why did Eren suddenly spring into this conversation?"
He rolled his eyes, "You always talk about the kid, what was I supposed to expect from a fan like you?"
Hanji laughed even harder. "If I hadn't known you, I'd say you were jealous." At his outraged look, and his "I'm not, idiot" reply, she laughed even more, holding her stomach between breaths. When her laughs subsided, she rested her chin on her arms and smiled.
"You didn't have to say that, you know. I never intended to compare you with Eren, anyways. You aren't him. And most especially Eren isn't you."
The moment the statement left her lips, he felt a hot flush across his cheeks and down his neck. He covered his awkwardness and surprise behind a soft cough. Two, even, for a good measure.
Hearing him, Hanji turned to face him, eyes filled with concern. "Eh? Are you alright, Rivaille? Jeez, maybe they didn't manage to clean this room very well, I know how much of a clean freak you are."
Annoyed, he snapped, "Shut up, four-eyes. Why don't you look in the mirror and fix your self—most especially that wild mane of yours that you can never keep. You look like a wild titan on the loose." He reached for her hair tie and yanked it off her hair.
"What? Did you just yank it off? Did you break it? What the hell, Rivaille that's the third one this week! Stop touching my hair. Stop, you little brat! STOP! Ugh, I'm going downstairs to check on my experiment and get another tie." With that she stomped outside his room, ranting about his childishness and stupidity.
He smirked and watched the rain fall outside, in his hand her broken hair tie."Baka Hanji." Life outside the walls, huh? There's nothing out there for him. After all, what he wants to protect, and what he considers his life, is right inside.
Author's note: I don't know why but there's something so comforting in their relationship. Maybe that's why I fell in love with them. I hope you enjoyed and feel free to give a review (This is my first in the SnK fandom, you see)
BG