Title: When the truth comes out.
Author: Loz
E-Mail: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com
Rating: T (Smidgen more language than usual)
Category: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.
Series: Story number nineteen. What follows are titles and story ID numbers:
(1) After he's at her door – 2486705 (10) When they're stuck together – 2611364
(2) When the mighty fall – 2506192 (11) When they're back together – 2619492
(3) While his wife's away – 2525486 (12) Life almost in balance – 2630121
(4) While they're away – 2543010 (13) Life under pressure – 2666280
(5) When love's not working – 2543013 (14) Trying to have a life together – 2699235
(6) Boundaries when broken up – 2562611 (15) Outside influences on their lives – 2704730
(7) What happens on the train – 2579012 (16) When things start falling apart – 2727112
(8) When they work together – 2595808 (17) When they're approaching the end again - 2750079
(9) When she wants him back – 2598312 (18) Trying not to drift apart – 2891564
(19) When the truth comes out - 2912317
Spoilers: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.
Archive (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.
Summary: No more secrets, no more lies. Andrea knows what she wants in her life and that means telling Neil the truth…even if it means losing him.
Authors' notes: Please read the end note.
Thanks: Cheers to Phoenix Angelwolf who reviewed the last story twice only to be beaten by Gem6 who reviewed all three chapters, much appreciated you two! But I appreciate no less the reviewing styles of Lornz, madz87, Fabio, Meegan Boulton, Storm and aerialplug. Cheers guys, I look forward to all your reviews, multiple or not. aerialplug you never need to apologise to me for being lazy, I've made an art out of it :0) Storm, I thank you for reading all my notes and have to say I'm finding it hard to maintain my interest in episodes without Neil as well, we could bond over broken televisions. Ha Ha!
My best wishes: To anyone sitting or about to take exams, I look forward to reading fics from you all when the pressure is off.
Disclaimers: Truth is…I have no association with The Bill, shocking I know.
Andrea stares at the ring the next morning, sitting innocently on her bedside table but she doesn't put it on.
As she waits for her toast to cook she realises what she's done. Straight out of the shower, hair dripping wet down her back she'd slipped into her civvies not one of her more professional but seldom worn suits. She hadn't even noticed her actions and as she stares out her kitchen window and thinks, she realises there's never been any excitement for her new journalistic role. Forgetting the toast Andrea wanders to her bedroom and looks at the suit buried at the back of her wardrobe.
It serves only to cement the fact she can't do it, it's not what she wants and try as she might she can't see herself in journalism anymore. It has almost no purpose left for her anymore; there are more important jobs, a job that has value.
Cursing the toast that's burnt she knows it will be sticky but she has to be true to herself. She needs a day to decide how and what she's going to tell Bruce. She'll need something to bargain with and at the moment she has nothing but that doesn't concern her, what does is if he comes looking for her.
The toast goes in the bin knowing Neil is very much a part of her decision. She decides the only way she could leave policing is when Neil knows what she used to do, the words 'used to' brings a smile to her face…and if he can't accept her and it…then.
"You have to try, you can't just walk away." Andrea tells herself on the way out of the door. She refuses not to tell Neil, he deserves the chance to know and react, she can't just disappear…that would only hurt him more.
At the car Andrea turns around and goes back to the flat sliding the ring onto her right hand, further away than where she wore it before, an indicator of where they are in their relationship.
"PC Dunbar." Phil greets as Andrea hurries, late for her first day as a real copper. She hurries on, "Hang on."
"I'm late." She says between gritted teeth, it's not the start she wants to make but she's soon distracted as she follows Phil's eyes to where they rest on the ring on her finger.
"You had something to do with this." Andrea verbalizes her realisation.
"Wear it." He nods and leaves her looking down at her hand, being late forgotten.
She slips into the briefing room in the middle of Smithy's speech, it doesn't go unnoticed by Gina Gold, nor does the other.
The Inspector nudges Yvonne as the relief filter out of the briefing room. Gina turns her head in Andrea's direction and nods towards the obvious re-addition to her hand but Yvonne doesn't catch on to the game of charades.
"The ring's back." Gina Gold says in a low tone as they watch the back of Andrea pass through the door.
"What's going on, I thought they were fighting?" Yvonne sounds confused.
"Or they made up." Gina suggests.
"We've got this wrong." Yvonne says sounding confidant.
"We're just collecting evidence and trying to work out what's going on, no one's accusing anyone of anything." The Inspector reminds Yvonne.
"Right, under our hats," Yvonne doesn't sound convinced as she leaves her superior alone in the room.
The first call comes just after nine when Andrea should have reported for work and then one every half an hour until two. It's only when the calls stop does Andrea start looking for Bruce around every corner, knowing he'll turn up at any time asking why, with little care for the secret she's trying to keep from her colleagues.
She dares not think she's home free as she does the last of her paperwork that night before shifts end, she's right to do so. She pulls absently at her phone on her hip when it rings, not bothering to check who it is calling, she has three words to go on the document she's creating. "Hello."
"Hello, I'm out the front eating chips." He says like it's a riddle she has to solve, Andrea hurriedly types and proof reads her work.
"What?" Andrea questions eventually pressing print. She's not overly confidant in her tone but isn't about to let him know she's concerned about the repercussions of not turning up today.
"Why don't you come join me?" The phone line goes dead and Andrea quickly folds the print off into an envelope. In the locker room she slides it into the front pocket of her bag; she'll have to deliver it earlier than expected.
"What are you doing?" Andrea watches Bruce collect a plastic container of hot food. She's angry he's just shown up out the front of Sun Hill and has endangered her cover but she doesn't show it, after all it's a cover she won't be using for too much longer. More importantly she wonders why he doesn't appear to be angry. That fact makes her both suspicious and nervous.
"Indulging myself, you've eaten enough meals in the news canteen, better than here is it?" Andrea starts to feel nervous about what's coming next, she'd expected him to approach her with guns blazing, she'd probably feel more comfortable if he had.
Bruce moves away from the counter and Andrea follows him, plucking a chip from the container.
"I was you expecting you today." Bruce says casually and Andrea turns and rests her back against the counter again, staring off across the street. It's then she realises that she still has no reason, excuse or plan. "Instead I find you here in your copper uniform."
"I had to do a last shift; they wouldn't let me go until they could re-sort the roster." She knows it's likely to appease Bruce for five minutes, till he thinks about her words in detail. She's prepared to tell him the truth, she's itching to, just not out here; a scene is surely to ensue that would turn her future and plans for it into an explosion with fallout of the worse kind…not just for her.
"You're not quitting are you or you would have called." He leans next to Andrea with the same smirk on his face she hates, the realisation has come to him and Andrea isn't going to be able to put off extracting herself from Bruce, it will have to happen here and now, he doesn't leave things like this alone.
"No, I'm quitting you." Andrea says and once she's finished she feels a weight lift, Bruce's reaction is irrelevant, it's a first tiny step towards the life she wants to lead.
"Just me?" Andrea's not surprised he sounds hurt, she's long suspected he may secretly harbour a crush on her and his personalisation may confirm it. There are plenty of young enthusiastic journalists out there who'd kill for the opportunity she's had, she thinks he might throw this at her with spite.
"No, journalism all together," Andrea looks to Bruce for a reaction, he stares past her. "I'll come in tomorrow and give you my resignation formally." Andrea starts to walk away, still nervous because it was too easy.
"Andrea." She stops, she can see the front doors of the station, so close but she knows now it's going to get messy.
His hand cups her cheek and she knows he's thinking right now she just has cold feet about the new position or lack of it and he thinks she can be talked around. He doesn't know how set in stone she really is.
"I know I'm a bastard and I've pressed you on this job." And understatement Andrea thinks. "But you're my best reporter and you've got a big future." Flattery, at any other time it might work but her mind is made up.
"There are black officers inside that building who've been promoted but they're not incompetent, they're good at what they do and what I was doing lessens that and takes away from the good work they do." Andrea is strong and unforgiving in the words that come from her mouth.
"I don't understand, you're pissed about the story, that's no reason to quit, in the beginning you were so determined to do well, it was your story, and you pitched it to me." Bruce argues, Andrea knows it was just a leap pad hopefully to something bigger and better, something that matters and isn't so petty…she never got there in journalism but policing...
"If this were AIDS in Africa, ethnic cleansing in Eastern Europe, drugs in South America…but it's not." Bruce rolls his eyes.
"The stories we print affect peoples lives directly, everyday and where they live, we can't all be on a crusade to save the world." For a second the thought enters her mind that Bruce may have locked onto a reason, that she has chosen policing for glory from helping others rather than the selfless good of it.
"Well how dare the police service try and reflect the society it protects, how dare they hire people who understand the culture and customs of a significant part of the community you report to and because so few of them put their hand up and volunteer, of course they're valuable and are looked after by the MET." Andrea argues insistently.
"God, you sound like one of them." Bruce laughs and for a moment Andrea thinks he's not taking her seriously, this is all an act to get something from him.
"I am one of them and I hope you never need the MET's help." Andrea almost spits, she starts to walk away but Bruce calls out, Andrea remains with her back to him.
"You still owe me." Andrea drops her head and shakes it, this is just the beginning of the fight and right now he's angry he can't charm her into coming back. "You leave now and you short change me. All that money spent on you while you were at Hendon training, you'd never have survived financially."
"You got all that back in all those front page articles I fed you." Andrea spins around.
"And our circulation didn't go up."
"I don't care; you got more than enough out of me…with you Bruce there'll never be enough. You want Okaro's head on a platter but you're not going to get it from me. I'm through with journalism, I don't believe in what I'm doing anymore and it has no purpose for me…this does." Andrea indicates to her uniform.
For the third time she tries to leave and this time Bruce grabs at her arm, missing but it's enough to have Andrea spin around in surprise, her back to the station.
"I don't think so…" This time Bruce gets a firm grip on her upper arm, a sleazy smile on his face. Andrea struggles getting increasingly upset till tears threaten to spill and her arm aches from where she fights him but he's bigger and stronger than she. To Bruce's right, Neil steps out of the front doors of the station at first surprised to see Andrea out the front with someone and then shocked to see her struggle against the grip he has on her arm.
Neil watches for a minute, it's like a hideous car wreck he can't take his eyes from despite being upset by the scene before him.
"Please Bruce, I have a life here, I have friends, someone who loves me." Andrea begs as her tears start to fall.
"That explains all the reluctance, the backing off and the fact you were so often hard to get in contact with." He sneers.
"You knew I felt this way a long time ago, you suspected." Andrea pleads, she has given up struggling.
"You betrayed them from the beginning and now you're going to do it to me. You're a bitch with no loyalties and you'll betray them all again down the track." Bruce's words are venomous, Andrea saved by the fact she knows they're not true.
"No, I've found where I belong." Andrea pushes strength into her voice.
"Then I have no choice but to run your story. To expose you as final payment," His voice full of contempt.
"Bruce no, we can work something out, I have money." Her offer falls on deaf ears that ring with an astounded laughter.
"I'm not some banged up criminal you can buy off before he squeals police brutality."
"PC Dunbar." Neil's catch phrase fills the night quiet and although she doesn't look at him Andrea knows relief and other things paint her features. He'll send Bruce packing, giving her more time but a feeling of nausea quickly takes over as she has no idea how she's going to explain the situation she's in. She dares look at him, her eyes begging for help.
"Is that him?" Bruce asks and Andrea knows what he means.
"Yes."
"Well, well, DI Manson, married I believe, never could be one of your own rank could it." For a moment Andrea thinks he might ask why she didn't fall for him. "I just got an even better story."
"Bruce no, he has nothing to do with it." Her pleas for clemency and his co-operation are greater now. She doesn't care if he exposes her but she could never let it happen to Neil.
"He doesn't know does he?" Her non-denial is enough to tell Bruce what he already knows. "You stupid girl, what were you going to do, never tell him? Don't you think he'll feel angry and betrayed like the rest of them, he won't want to know you when he finds out – what did I say about betrayal, you're developing a pattern already." Bruce's words cut at Andrea.
"He loves me." Andrea says quietly as Neil is three steps away, she still has no idea how she's going to explain.
"What's going on PC Dunbar?" Bruce immediately drops his grip and steps back, Andrea does the same her eyes never leaving her former editors. She needs just that millisecond of notice if Bruce is about to jeopardize anything for her. Inside her heart is racing, the questions has been posed and she has no answer but her face remains stony.
"Andrea?" A smirk crosses Bruce's face, one that Neil misses; he's too busy trying to read the situation.
"He's been putting pressure on me for stories." Andrea sobs once, not for Bruce but for the lie she's about to tell Neil when all she wants is it all out in the open...even if it means losing the lot.
"What stories?" Neil flicks a look to Bruce, he gets nothing but Andrea sees recognition of who Bruce is come to Neil's face slowly.
"He's been calling me and turning up at the station wanting to know stuff, about the cases at Sun Hill." The tears roll down Andrea's cheeks, knowing the mess she's about to make her relationship with Neil starts now.
"You what?" Neil asks in disbelief looking at Bruce, his voice just above a whisper.
Disbelief soon turns to anger and Andrea doesn't think she's ever seen him look angrier, except maybe when she tells him the truth. She can't tell him now, she can't have him know like this here on the street from Bruce's mouth, the truth has to come from her.
"What does he have on you?" Neil's attention goes back to Andrea.
"Nothing, he's just been ringing me and turning up places I am."
"For how long?" Neil demands as softly as possible.
In for a penny, in for a pound, "Since I started."
"No Neil." Andrea protests as he goes to arrest Bruce. She can't have this on record, she can't have it dragged through the courts and she can't perjure herself on the stand. Life is meant to be simpler from now on, no more duel jobs, no more secrets, no more lies.
"You can't, it'll ruin me, people will never believe in my innocence, I'll be the PC you have to be careful what you say around because she might leak it to the press, the first time there is a leak I'll be the first person everyone blames."
Her DI doesn't back down, holding Bruce's hands behind his back.
"Please Neil, I love this job, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't do it anymore." Different person, another plea, "You and it are my life." From in front of him Neil doesn't see the raised eyebrow look Andrea gets from Bruce.
His hands are freed but Neil's not finished.
"Go before I arrest you, regardless of what PC Dunbar wants. I don't want to ever see your face around this station ever again and if I so much as get an inkling of a negative story about Sun Hill I'll make sure I close your grubby little rag down." There's more anger in Neil that when he was fighting Phil Hunter.
"Harassment of a police officer is a serious charge, who's going to read your paper if you have a criminal conviction, that'd be an ironic front page story for your paper. I'll be sure all your competitors get an exclusive comment from everyone from the Super to the ladies in the canteen about your arrest." Bruce remains stoic, his eyes on Andrea who's shaking, she still doesn't trust he's not going to open his mouth and as Neil threatens him further he has more incentive.
"Get out of here." Neil yells so loud and with sudden rage it makes Andrea jump.
"You have no idea." Bruce finally looks at Neil, a smirk still on his face, with the air of someone bored with the conversation and situation he walks off. It's only small relief to Andrea, it won't be the last she'll see of him and Neil will have lots of questions.
Andrea trembles, she won't look away from Bruce's back until he's gone from sight, a final sob slips once he's gone.
"Are you o.k.?" Neil steps in front of her and Andrea lets herself crumble into his embrace, with her arms around his neck she lets him take all of her weight. "Thank you." She manages.
"Shhh," He soothes one hand on the back of her head the other rubbing across her back. "It's o.k." But Andrea knows it's anything but, she's just added another lie to the tally she holds with Neil. He holds her till she starts to calm down, so many of her tears are for him and her lies, not Bruce. The fact that he's never held her so tight just makes it worse.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She knows the underling part of the question, he's wanted to help but has been locked out, it's not anger more relief she finally has let him in.
"I'm so sorry, so sorry." Andrea repeats, the all purpose apology, for lying to him for so long, for continuing to lie and the fact she'll soon break his heart.
"What for, I just wish you'd told me before now, all I want is for you to be safe and happy." It starts fresh tears because he loves her but soon the only thing he'll want for her is to be gone, he might even regret ever having her in his life. "I'm glad I know it's been killing me not being able to help you." His hands still and Andrea pulls slowly back from him. He covers each inch of her face with his eyes, making sure she's alright. From his pocket he pulls a handkerchief and offers it to her. "Let's go inside out of the cold."
Andrea closes her eyes and breathes deeply once to chase away the last of her emotion, she keeps his handkerchief tightly in her grasp.
"Gina Gold's gone home but you go first." A gentle guiding hand encourages Andrea from behind their cover to the station.
"No." Andrea shakes her head, with what she's about to do to him, this is the least she can do. Side by side with tear stained cheeks for Andrea they re-enter the station.
There's something about his office at night when the blinds are closed and the lights gently warm the walls to a golden colour they're not of a day time, it seems warm and almost inviting a far cry from the demeanour of the man who inhabits the office during work hours. Then it is harsh and full of severe angles, the artificial lighting of night brings with it a soft airbrushing making his office a comfort to her right now.
Neil puts a cup of tea on his desk in front of her and drags his own chair around to sit next to her. Across the desk is too formal as if the nailed pieces of wood physically separate them, as their ranks do and this isn't work business. She's grateful he realises that the divide is not necessary right now; it would only be counter productive.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Andrea can hear in his voice just how much he needs to know why. Andrea's not sure she can keep up the lie now; his office is the best location and dragging it out any longer… "Did you think you couldn't trust me?" The question is ironic because she's the one he can't trust and there's hurt in his words, immediately Andrea knows she has to continue with the lie.
"I was scared, I thought you and everyone would be mad or wouldn't believe me, that everyone would think I'd agreed to tell him things and I was lying to save myself because all those front page stories came out, I thought maybe people would think I'd invited and encouraged the harassment.
"You can tell me anything and I'll believe you." It's that total and utter trust he has for her that she's going to shatter. "He's why you were quiet or upset sometimes or those times you cried but couldn't tell me why."
When Andrea nods her confirmation, she sees the anger reignite in his eyes.
"I'll go and arrest him tomorrow." Andrea instantly panics; the fact that Neil seemed to be going to comply with her wish to let everything drop had lulled her into a sense of security.
"No, Neil, I just want it over and it is, he's not going to come near me again after tonight, I just want to do my job."
"You have to send a message to show him this is not acceptable." Neil pushes.
"I can't, I won't." Neil backs down as Andrea digs in her heels. "I won't even make a statement." He lets it drop and they sit in silence and sip their cooling tea.
When Neil's goes back on the table his hand remains wrapped around the cup, he looks like he's tossing up whether or not to say or ask something,
"He was harassing and intimidating you, no one, especially me would blame you if you leaked anything."
"I didn't, ever, not once." The look of horror on Andrea's face works, Neil thinks it's because she thinks he suspects she's responsible for the front page stories, her horror comes from knowing it's true and just how close he's getting.
"I didn't for a second thinks you ever did." Neil says quickly reaching for her hand to squeeze it reassuringly.
"He asked me things about my friends." Andrea keeps real tears inside her this time, Bruce's probing into Yvonne, Lance and Leela caused her no small amount of stress.
"What else?" Neil moves his chair next to hers, their knees almost touching.
"He must have others at other places because sometimes he asked me to confirm things," The truth in the wrong context.
"We have to alert the Super, others at Sun Hill might be going through the same thing you were." Neil springs into action mode again and Andrea reins him in again.
"No, please, no one will ever trust me again and without that I'm as good as finished." Neil's hesitant but can't refuse her wishes.
"When did he first approach you?" He seems to accept her request for this to go no further than them.
"The week after I arrived, I was walking to my car around the corner from here, he asked me how I was liking Sun Hill I thought he was one of us on the way to work. Then he said he'd read about something in the local paper and started asking me questions about it, I thought he was just a curious citizen then. It took me another week to realise who he was when he showed up again, but I never told him anything."
"I know." Neil smiles reassuringly. "How did he get your number?"
"He asked me my name the first time we met; I suppose he got it out of the phone book."
"So he knows where you live." Neil says almost gravely. "I've seen his number in your mobile." Andrea tenses.
"I did that so I'd know when he was calling and could avoid him, Marilyn told me he came to the front desk one day and said he was my brother, I was out on a job but he needed to call me about my sister, could he have my mobile number because he's forgotten it, of course I wasn't at home and he already had that number."
"She believed him?" Neil asks sounding astounded. "You don't have a sister."
"The accent and he's charming and convincing when he needs to be." Andrea blames.
"You should have done something, changed your number." Neil suggests.
"He'd have found out again, at least I could ignore the calls he placed to my mobile." Andrea sighs.
"Did he hurt you like tonight?" Instinctively Andrea looks at her right arm that no longer throbs.
"No. Not physically anyway," Lies built on lies, till she doesn't know what's true anymore Andrea thinks to herself. The negative answer is a big relief for Neil.
Right then and there Andrea decides to tell him, she can no longer stand the gauntlet of emotions he's running for her, all good when they should be hurt, anger and disgust.
"Neil…"
"Is this what you think I won't like about you, what you can't change." Andrea swallows, she doesn't have to broach the subject herself, he's just opened the door. He sees the look on her face. "I'm sorry it's not the right time for that question, I'll take you home." Before she can say anything Neil's up collecting his coat and the opportunity is lost.
He follows her downstairs and waits till she changes; on the way out he puts his coat over her shoulders, a gentle guiding hand on the small of her back.
Countless times she's sat here in his car, parked out the front of her flat; he'd followed her in his car having barely let her out of his sight. This wasn't just another one of those ordinary occasions. He turns to face her as Andrea remains staring at the back of her car in front of them.
"Are you going to be alright?" Neil asks concerned and Andrea turns nodding yes with a reassuring smile.
"Make sure you lock everything." He reminds her.
"Thanks." Andrea leans across to kiss him platonically on the cheek, she remains there, her lips finding his in a kiss that becomes passionate, it's she who pulls away reluctantly.
"Sorry." Andrea apologises but his next words indicate that he didn't mind.
"I could come up and sleep on the sofa," A tempting suggestion.
"I wouldn't want you doing that." A part of Andrea knows it means she'd have to tell him the truth, it can't be tonight now, she needs the events of tonight to fade, in a couple of day's time she will. He thinks she's talking about the sofa.
"I could still come up." Andrea still feels it's dangerous but she's feeling increasingly tired and knows she'll probably give in. She wants him to come up despite knowing he shouldn't.
"Not tonight." Though it must seem a stupid statement to him, now is a better night than most given what he thinks she's just been through, when she needs comfort even if most of it is a lie. Before she gives in Andrea opens the car door letting in the night cool.
"Take tomorrow off, I don't want to see you at work," Andrea looks back wondering how she got so lucky and why that luck had to come now, during this most complicated part of her life. Had it not come now she might still be a journalist, working still for Bruce on the job he'd lined up for her.
"You were my knight in shining armour tonight." Andrea pauses. "Come upstairs for a while." Neil walks up the stairs with a protective arm around her.
Cally jumps once up onto Neil at the front door and then darts quickly down the stairs, nature called a long time ago.
"I'll go." Neil says. "Lock the door after you." He waits till Andrea is secure before following the puppy down to the grass outside.
From her bedroom Andrea hears Neil's key in the lock and the one sided conversation he's having with their pet.
"You're getting so big." Instantly Andrea feels guilty. "Do you bark? You've got to bark and protect Andrea if someone comes to the door." As if on cue Cally yelps and Neil laughs.
He sits on the sofa, head in his hands when Andrea comes and joins him dressed in pyjamas.
"You should get changed." She says making reference to his things that still reside in her flat.
"I'll only stay until you fall asleep." Always a gentleman he falls back into the depths of the sofa and Andrea manoeuvres herself until she's lying on the sofa on her back, legs drooping over the arm of the sofa, head resting against Neil's legs. He reaches to hold one of her hands and strokes her forehead with his other hand.
Cally pushes her way in, lying between Andrea and the back of the sofa; it's a space barely big enough for her.
"Try and go to sleep." Neil encourages and she turns onto her side, head still using his legs as a pillow, one arm wrapped around his knees.
Andrea realises she's probably had her last kiss with him and last embrace, but exhaustion is setting in and she's too tired to stay awake and be upset.
In the morning Andrea finds herself in bed under the covers, Cally breathes rhythmically, she'd be lying on guard at the end of the bed if it weren't for the fact she's fast asleep. On the pillow next to Andrea a note wishes her sweet dreams, it's not signed.
"Neil." She calls sleepily but there's no reply and no one on the sofa when she checks, in that moment Andrea feels very alone…all of her own doing.
This is a two part story, not the usual three. Lauren.