It was up to him and he knew it. Michelle had practically thrown herself at him nearly a month ago and things still hadn't changed. He'd meant to do something romantic, really, he did. But every time he almost did he was reminded of the fact that he'd had these same feelings for Nina not so long ago.
The passion that reached it's peak during their kiss had hidden back under the vale of friendship the next day.
"Morning, Tony." She'd greeted him, lingering at his desk.
"Hey," He had said. He turned to face her. He was close enough to kiss her. 'Not here, not now' he'd told himself. She stayed for a moment, waiting to see if he'd say anything more. Her eyes looked up at him with want, but not an ounce of desperation.
He held up his mug with the Cubs logo brightly printed on it. "I'm gonna get a fill up." And just like that he was walking away from her, cursing himself for being so stupid for falling for another co-worker.
That's how it went for a month. They'd be talking, then out of no where they'd both pause and just look into each other's eyes. Tony would break the stare by awkwardly saying he needed more coffee or, as he did on one memorable occasion, announce he was 'going on a run'.
"Tony, I need to talk to you." Michelle said one day, walking into his office. It was 5PM, time for their shift to go home.
He looked up from his desk. "Alright, sit down." He nodded his head in the direction of the seat in front of him.
"No, that's alright." She said as she walked straight up to his desk and looked him square in the eyes. "You've been avoiding me." She said coolly. He had to admire her boldness.
"We've been busy around here lately..." He started to explain, knowing full well it sounded just as lame to her as it did to him.
"Tony," She cut in. "it's been weird between us ever since we kissed. You have been avoiding me."
He stood and walked around the desk to meet her. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it like a man, not hide behind a desk...that was for pussies like Ryan Chappell.
"You're right. I have been. I'm sorry. It's just," He scratched his cheek, then looked back at her. "I don't know how to do this. Have a relationship at work, I mean. Last time I got involved with someone at CTU it didn't turn out well. I guess I'm just afraid that what happened with Nina will happen all over again." He knew bringing up his feelings for his ex-girlfriend wasn't the greatest thing to do at the moment, but it was the truth. He knew enough about Michelle to know she really wanted the truth, not the sugar-coated, watered down version of it.
"I understand." She nodded and looked down. He could feel her disappointment and see she was trying to power through it. "Listen, if you're not over Nina..."
He touched her arm, surprising her into looking back up at him. He stepped closer to her, so close the toes of his shoes bumped hers. He felt her breathing quick, nervous breaths.
"No.. That's not what I'm saying. I want to be with you, Michelle." He reached up and tucked a stray strand of curly hair back behind her ear. "I'm just asking you to be careful with my heart...I can't stand it being broken again."
'It's official.' He thought to himself 'that was the mushiest thing I've ever said...and the saddest part is that I meant it!'
Michelle smiled and placed her hand on the left side of his chest. Tony watched as she traced a heart shape with her finger. "I promise I won't break it, Tony." She said just above a whisperer.
Tony felt his fear and hesitation melt away. He believed her. His chest tingled where Michelle had touched it and he felt warm all over. He leaned in and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He felt her hands in his hair, then creeping over to his neck and shoulders, then resting on his face.
He embraced her tighter, thinking to himself 'Surely this is love'.