These human fascinate me and disgust me. I hate them, but I live in the flesh of their kind. How revolting, how truly revolting…except for maybe one, this girl letting loose in front of me. Shimmering raven black hair, innocent chocolate brown eyes, flawless creamy alabaster white skin, slender luscious curves, and a build women could only wish to possess…to seduce men. To think that such a pleasing woman is at my disposal. Strong, fast, agile, and cunning, why is she so loyal to me? She's seen my true face…as I thought. A fool. Dammit! What are these wretched feelings?!
"Rin!"
The fight froze and all eyes landed on me. I stood from my position at the top of the staircase and slowly walked to the basement floor of this old forgotten apartment building. Each step was counted and a smirk lit on her face.
"I'll finish this."
The members of my gang backed up, smirks plastered on their faces, including my Rin…my? Did I just say "my"?! Dammit, I'm pissed off now.
"Have mercy!!"
I glance at my prey and I feel the cold smirk on my lips as I reply, "For what."
They're pathetic. It was grade school taking care of the worthless lot. A kick, couple punches, grab a few collars, throw them across the room, down on the balls of my feet, a jab in the abdomen, few more kicks, throw a few more, punch living hell out of a few more, flip, and stare into the frightened eyes of their brainless leader. The smirk on my lips and glare in my eyes, punch him and knock him out.
That was a short fight…
Damn. I'm too happy, I can't stop smiling. They'll suspect something if they see me like this. Crap, I'm never this happy. Never!
"Stop smiling like that."
Yes Rin, I should stop smiling. I face you, I meet your diamond eyes.
"Then do it for me."
Good girl, come at me. Punch me, wipe this smile off my fuckin' face. But I have to fight back, give a few punches to your lovely face. It's a pity to ruin such a pretty face. Then again, you're a wretched human.
"You-!"
What? No, stop you human. What do you think you're doing? Don't touch my face. No. Don't look in my eyes. No, stop it.
"Stop smiling like that. This isn't like you!"
…So I'm not allowed to be happy. That's strange coming from you of all people. I'm the happiest I've ever been since that accident, but you're saying that I can't. You're right, human. I should never be happy.
"Why are you still smiling?!"
"Because of you, idiot! I like you, I like being with you, I'm smiling because of you!"
Did I just say that? …She's backing away from me. I understand. She is only human. What did I expect? Even if it's been five years…five years. No!
I grabbed her collar, embraced her, held her close and whispered with desperation, "Rin, don't forget me, don't hate me. I'm sorry. Please, let me before you're gone. I won't know you…five years. God dammit!"
I kiss you, pleading for a last chance. All of my dignity is thrown away for this one intimate contact. Your shock, I can feel it in your tense muscles.
That's it. Push me away, deny me. Wretched, this wretched mortal body in front of you. Abuse it, hurt it, cut it, bruise it. I will not stop you…it will be different tomorrow.
I will be different tomorrow…
"Sesshoumaru!"
I turn and see a pretty face. She's beautiful, a goddess or angel in street clothes, so innocent and full of life. Interesting. I am drawn by this human. How pathetic I am.
I turn away, figuring she means someone else.
"Majjan Sesshoumaru. Stop you bastard!"
Soft hands grab my arms, forces me to turn around, and jams me against a wall. It's her. What a dangerous aura for a human and a female of all things. Why is she after me? My name isn't Sesshoumaru.
"Why are you ignoring me, Sesshoumaru?"
I stare at her. Everyone else watches, fear in their eyes to my disdain. Even her lackeys fear her. A useless bunch they are. Whatever.
"I'm not Sesshoumaru. My name is Masaru."
She is briefly shocked, then smiles at me, a bright smile I wouldn't have expected. What is this human thinking?
"Okay, Ma-sa-ru, why are you ignoring me?"
This is ridiculous. She thinks I'm some male mortal named Sesshoumaru. I guess he is impassive and indifferent, since that is how I always am. Stupid.
I sigh and answer, "I'm not ignoring you. I can't…I can't ignore someone I don't even know."
She appeared shocked to me, to her lackeys, to everyone else, but I was the only one who saw it. I was the only one who saw what else was there…pain, regret. What did I do?
I sighed again. "Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. I transfer tomorrow."
As if I had dealt a second blow, she took a step back and hid her shock with a glare, "Where?"
I met her glare. "Tac Academy. Excuse me."
Hm. Why does that seem to faze her? There's something about her. No, I should stop this. She's a human, a simple creature of a revolting race. Oh well.
Goodbye, human…
How strange this is. I feel at peace in a way. This girl tried to hate me, tried to turn me away and yet, now, I am the only one she can look at. Still, its not what I want, this isn't what I want. Something is missing here…someone is missing.
Whatever. I can smile at this lowly human. She knows how to amuse me and keep me entertained, if only for a short while. Either way, she is still a pathetic lowlife human. I have no need for-.
"Masaru, is something wrong?"
Her, the one that had called me Sesshoumaru. Why is she here? Hm? Others are swooning at her, boys and girls. To be expected, more than this one standing beside me. This one has a very similar build, but she doesn't have the bold and respectable demeanor. She has dark chestnut hair, ordinary dark brown eyes, flawless white skin, and…what is that? Pain? Humans are so stupid. Is that all they know how to feel?
I walked up to her. Now what? Acknowledge her, let her speak first, why has she come here? She calmly smokes a cigarette, glancing up at me through her long lashes. What an obnoxious human you are. I truly wish I could loathe you this instant.
You smirk at me, straighten, and hold the cigarette in your hand like waving a dollar in my face. How insufferable you are, looking up at me with arrogance and pride in your alluring brown depths. Your conceit and incompetence will be the end of you. Count on it, pitiful human.
"Hello Masaru."
Is that all you can say?
I acknowledge her, a simple response. The other human comes to my side, her lack of charisma causing her to pale in comparison to the one before me. Such a dangerous aura, her energy and her beauty, the power she holds in a mere glance, bold and intimidating for so slender a girl. What a pitiful contrast between her and the one beside me.
"Hello. I am Aiko. Are you a friend of Masaru's?"
The human offers to shake hands, but she stares at the offered hand instead. Her head lowers, her bangs overcastting her eyes from the one next to me. I can see it though. It's that pain again. Something is wrong with her. She probably has a brain defect. Huh? What's with that smile?
"Aiko…what's your relationship with Masaru?"
She's implying…how dare she! Screw her.
"He's my boyfriend."
What the hell. When did I become that, you disgusting human? Later, I am going to punch out your lights. I don't care if you're a girl. Just wait, you vile mortal.
"Oh, I see."
That smirk, I know it somehow. So devious and mischievous, deceiving to all that see it. Why is it so familiar to me?
She offers me her cigarette. I take it, curious to see what she will do. A handshake, she offers her hand to this stupid human next to me in a handshake and that's it. That's the only reason I'm holding this cigarette?!
Their hands meet and she smiles. The smirk fresh on her lips, there's darkness in her eyes, ruining the beauty of their natural innocence. "It's nice to meet you, Aiko. I'm Rin, your rival."
A rival…
A cold smile, that's all I know how to give. He loves her and she loves him. There's a happy ending for you, Aiko, enjoy it…I lost my chance for that same happiness. It was my fault, wasn't it?
Shit, I hate this stupid human emotion. It's so pointless and pathetic, a sign of weakness. The memory, it's the reason for this sadness. My pride is destroyed because of stupid memories. How low have I fallen? How weak have I become? Dammit, stop haunting me, Rin! Stop yelling, stop looking at me, stop calling my name. I'm not Masaru, not Sesshoumaru, not anymore, so who am I? Who am I…go away. Just go away. Leave me alone.
I walk away. I don't want them to remind me anymore. Their happiness makes me see her, makes me remember her. I want that to stop. This weakness is killing me.
What?
A hand grabs my arm and pulls me aside, I'm thrown back against a wall…I can't think straight. Hot breath on my neck. Her heat, her presence, she's so close. Who-Who is this? She's straddling me. Dammit, my mind is so hazy, I can't see. All I can make out are a pair of brown circles that remind me of diamonds. Wait, not diamonds…Rin's eyes.
"Augh!"
That hurt, you bitch. I'm mortal too. Don't embrace me like this. Have you no pride?! Your heat, your scent, your very humanity, it's all so wretched, I must hate you. I have to hate you…but I can't. Damn this sensitive human flesh and this desolate human existence…Shit, that's wrong. The blame is mine, all mine. It's because of this damn weak unnecessary heart beating in my chest. Why- Why do I react to you like this, Rin? What are you doing to me?
"Give up on her."
What did she just say?
"Don't look at her like that, not her, not anyone!"
Bloody bitch! "Then what! I can't smile or be happy for someone?! Is that what you're-?!"
No, stop that, not when I'm talking. Don't press on me like that. You know your very presence arouses me. Stop, just stop. Damn this worthless body!
"Me…"
I try to find her eyes looking down at me, but she hides. She conceals herself behind the shadows of her hair and the feel of her body. She's hot against me, my senses are failing. Dammit. Stop this fuckin' shit, you bloody bitch!
"It should be me. Just me! Don't look at anyone else! You're mine, you bastard!"
Damn you. Don't straddle me there, stop putting pleasurable pressure. Fuckin' bitch! "I did…I smiled at you even, but you hated it…You rejected me and turned me-."
Augh! That was low. Shutting me up by rubbing my hard length. I'm already hot for you, stop making it worse. Don't fist my hair, you fuckin' whore. What the-? All this emotion in your eyes, there's more than I've ever seen. Anger, devotion, pain, why are you feeling like this?
"I know. I didn't mean it…you're mine, Sesshoumaru."
Rin, so this is my Rin. Hm. I like the sound of that.
"So I am…Rin."
This, what I thought you would never give me. Hold onto me and let me kiss you. I'll take you away and I hear your confession. My heart soars at your words, words I thought I'd never hear. Let me love you, let me drown you, let me take your soul, your heart, your pride. You are mine, Rin, and let me show you. I'll show you all of it, how much I feel for you, how much I have needed you. Moan for me, scream my name, tell me what I want to here, I'll have you again and again. When I'm through, you won't even be able to stand tomorrow morning. Beautiful Rin, my Rin, you'll have to stay in bed…and mourn for your loss.
My time with you is fading. I finally have you, I can finally make love to you, my human love, but it comes. The time is drawing closer, six years from the day that you met me. Soon, I will be taken from you against my will. All of my love, take it and cherish it. Don't forget me, don't you dare. Even if it's a small space, just a small space, keep me alive in your heart. Make me the one gold grain among all of the course grains of sand. Do not forget, never forget. I'll make sure you never forget.
Remember me, my beautiful Rin…
For so long, my Rin has had to hide her true self. That makes me the only one. I am the only one who has known her softest smile and the feel of her kind hands, who has seen her help all those in need, who has heard her true emotions through her iridescent smiles, who has felt the truth she has taken great care to hide. Alone and surrounded by the darkest side of society, the danger and darkness she possesses is her one defense to keep her sanity. Every cold word, cold deed, cold emotion was feigned to protect herself, a part of her twisted logic. Such a strong mortal, she was able to retain her true nature through that she had endured. One of many reasons that I love her.
Interesting. It feels as if I am dreaming. Here I am, awakening in her bed with her angelic face to greet me. There will be no sun to greet my eyes though, no chocolate brown depths to smile happily at me, no tomorrow. I love you, a foolish beautiful human named Rin.
Is this how you will leave…your highness?
I run my fingers through a few tendrils of her hair one last time. Imagine it, this human has caught my affections and after I swore to never love such a low creature as a human, especially after the shame of my father. How, I wonder. A lord among demons, we should be alike in a way. Are we as different as we are perceived?
Very different. In truth, there is no similarity between you, your highness.
What do you mean, Jaken? Explain yourself.
Human and demon, the kind-hearted and the cold-hearted, the one who must hide herself and the one who chooses to hide himself. She is unpredictable and energetic and loving, you are calm and composed and impassive. The truth is all she knows, deceit is all you had known. Her touch is soft and yours is rough.
How strange. She is my opposite, even though we can seem so alike on the outside. What a fascinating human you are. No matter the time, the era, the place, you are always the same, you always draw me to you. Now, you have finally succeeded in this life. Constantly coming back, constantly showing your beautiful face, you never cease to be my love. You got me, as you have desired all this time, our game is done. Jinling, Contessa, Mariella, Raya, and last, Rin. Goodbye, my love.
Your reason is gone now. As of this moment, you are free. You can be reborn without the purpose of finding me to have me. It's finished. I will miss, I admit. Every life that you've devoted to me. For the first time in my long life, my heart feels like glass, shattered into a million of tiny shards that reflect your image…How did you achieve this? You have skill, human. No wonder you won this game. I love you, my human.
Whatever, I should forget this. As long as you remember, I am alive at least a little. The game is complete. You win, I lose, that's that. There's can't be anything else. We are finished…finished.
"I love you, Rin…Raya…Mariella…Contessa…Jinling…my love."
"And I love you, my lord."
Those orbs of sweet chocolate…So this is what you had done, what you had planned all along. Ever since that day, in the beginning of time and man, this is what you have been striving for. How dare you, you foolish self-centered human…my precious lover.
"I love you, Lord Sesshoumaru."
Author's Note: There is the possibility of a sequel, only if you want it though. If you want a sequel, tell me, but if you want a certain sequel like Rin's POV of this or what happens after, then tell me. Otherwise, I will choose, that is if you tell you want a sequel. I will only write a sequel if at least seven people request me to. I think this is pretty good by itself anyway, don't you think?
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of its characters.