Deepest thoughts, deepest fears :
Disclaimer : Final Fantasy VII and its characters belong to Square Enix.
Author note : a short and introspective story. Weird maybe... Enjoy.
When someone doesn't say anything people assume there is nothing that's going on in their mind, but it's often the other way round. You can say nothing and have a thousand of questions that plague your mind because you're too scared to voice them and even more scared to have to hear the answers. An introvert and shy person knows well that situation.
Let's listen to all those thoughts in Seventh Heaven... not the residence of angels but a modest bar in the city of Edge...here the thoughts ring loud and clear.
The thoughts of a woman who is a barmaid and the thoughts of a man who is a delivery boy.
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Cloud, do you think that now everything has settled down, we can concentrate on ...us?
What is in your heart now? What are your expectancies for the future?
Do you think about the future?
Is there something you crave for? I wish I knew... I want to see you smile at this new life... you have died and was brought back to life, do you plan to do nothing with it?
Did you ever imagine yourself in a relationship with someone?
Would you be an attentive lover or a jerk?
Do you like your life now? Do you like living with me, Marlene and Denzel?
Do you love...
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Tifa, do you think you still can put up with me?
Why are you still by my side? Don't you have fed up of me and my broken self?
But I want to have you all for myself...
I want you to hold me and never let go, please... never.
Never stop to smile at me, to encourage me, to light my path, without that light I'm lost.
Why don't you slap me each time my tendency to run away and hide come back in full force?
Why don't you punch me each time I'm too oblivious of your feelings, each time I hurt you?
How many times did I hurt you? Did you count?
You should hate...
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Why can't we enjoy life when all the problems are behind us?
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One day all those deepest thoughts transform themselves into deepest fears until the heart can't stand it anymore and something has to be said. It's not different in that bar named Seventh Heaven.
One late evening in the front steps of the bar, a heart to heart conversation finally unfolds...
"Cloud, what are you scared of?"
Several seconds passed before an honest answer could be made.
"I'm scared that one day you will have fed up of me and that you will kick me out of Seventh Heaven."
Tifa shook her head and slowly put her arms around his shoulders, sadness clearly written on her face.
"I don't want that, I won't do that...because I'm scared too..."
"Of what?" said a masculine surprised voice.
"That one day you will decide to live your life on your own and leave this place for good."
"No, I don't want to..."
He squizzed her against him, breathing in her scent and returning her hug.
Silence enveloped them and time seemed to stop.
The man was the first to speak again.
"We are both frightened, aren't we? We should try to stop that, don't you think?"
"Yeah, how can we do that?"
"I'm not sure... Maybe trying to enjoy life like normal people do... Is there something in particular that would make you happy Tifa?"
"Mmmh, what normal people do... what would make me happy... to have more time to spend with you and Marlene and Denzel... just to relax."
He chuckled. "That's called holidays Tifa, what you want is holidays, isn't it?"
"Ah well, maybe, but I can't close the bar so... no normal people thingslike holidays for me..."
"Holidays will wait but we still can spend more time together. Have an idea how?"
"If only someone was home earlier..."
"Herm, sorry, I'm trying my best you know... we need the money."
"I know Cloud, I'm teasing you. I know you're working hard to pay all the bills."
"And it's getting ok now, I will be able to slow the pace of deliveries soon. No more unpaid bills."
"Mmmh, no more... thanks to you. You are adorable. What about we go to the restaurant to celebrate the new found balance of the finances?"
"That sounds like a good idea to me. Do you think normal people celebrate each time they pay their bills?"
They laughed at the idea.
"Well, I don't know but we definitely are going to do that." she continued, a smile now on her face.
"I knew we weren't made to do normal things like normal people."
Laughing together was lightening the mood.
"So do you want it to be for four people or two people?" he asked.
"Can we afford four people?"
"That wouldn't be very reasonable at the moment but we can wait a little more."
"No, let's be a little selfish for once, it will be just you and me then."
"I thought you would want the four of us."
"Next time..." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.
"For now, I would love to go with you alone."
"Me too Tifa, me too..."
Maybe, just maybe, that is the real beginning of a normal life, at least to their own definition.