hey guys this is my first fanfic let me introduce myself
Logan: hello im the author
Derp: and i'm the hero!
Ash: and i'm his friend
Logan: anyway Ash roll the camera!
Key "hey!" = human speech 'listen!"=telepathy or thought "let's do this!" = animal speech
One day derp and herp where running through the park doing exercise when suddenly.
Derp tripped over a button "owwww" derp said when he tripped and fell face first onto the cement then herp ran up to derp "are you all right derp?" asked herp with a lot of concern. "Yeah I'm ok beside for my bleeding nose though thanks for asking!" derp said with some sarcasm herp mouthed a "oh" "I wonder what this button does?" said derp "can I touch it first?" said derp "ok" said herp. But when derp pressed the button derp and herp blacked out.
"Where am I?" said derp. As he looked around the area 'More importantly where is herp?' derp thought while walking around yelling "herp where are you?" then he tripped on something it looked like a small ball with a button on top "I wonder what happens when I press this" thought derp. But when he pressed it a red light came out of the button and out popped something like a pink floating cat "mew" said the cat "what the heck is this thing?" thought derp then he heard something in his mind 'derp?' "WHO SAID THAT!?" said derp. 'Derp it's me herp I'm inside the cat and when I talk you don't know what I am saying.' Said the cat who we now know is herp.
"Herp how are you inside that cat?" said derp with extreme confusion "I don't know last thing I remember is you pressing the button and extreme pain" said herp with telepathy while shivering in fear.
"Herp do you know where we are?" said derp "nope" said herp with telepathy. "Herp please follow me I'm going to try find civilization." Said derp "ok" said herp with telepathy.
So our hero's where walking in every direction for 30 minutes until they saw civilization "FINALLY!" said derp as he saw civilization "Herp could you please get off my shoulder." Said derp "fine" herp said with telepathy.
"ooh look a lab!" said herp with telepathy "cool!" said derp "race ya!" said derp as he started to sprint "hey no fair!" said herp with telepathy.
"I win!" said Derp in victory 'No fair!' said Herp 'I got stubby legs.' said Herp as they put their hands/paws on the white wall of the lab 'can you carry me please derp.' said Herp with her cutest puppy dog eyes she could muster 'please?' "ummm" said Derp "well this is awkward…." Said Derp as he slowly shuffled away 'hey where are you going?' said Herp as she tried to keep up which she couldn't "fine ill carry you." Said derp as he saw Herp tugging his pants and then proceeding to use her puppy dog eyes which he could not resist 'YAY!' said Herp in victory as she mounted her brother Derp "let's just go into the lab ok?" said derp 'ok….' Said Herp "hellooooo is anyone there?" said Derp "hello!" said someone "Ack where are you?" said Derp "oh where are my manners *lights turn on to show a middle age man in a lab coat* I'm Professor Oak and your name is?" said Professor oak (who I'm just going to call oak) "Derp my name is derp" derp said as he hid herp in his backpack which he got out of nowhere (I gave it to him J)."Where did you get that backpack? And more importantly are you a boy or a girl?" oak said very confused "I honestly don't know. And can't you see I'm a boy?" Said derp just as confused as oak. "Anyway you came here to get your starter right?" said oak "yes?" said derp confused "ok" said oak as he lifted 3 red and white balls on to the table "which one do you want." Oak said "I would like the middle one!" derp said as he picked up the ball "ok here are some more balls and a pokedex." Said oak "what's a pokedex?" said derp "you'll find out" said oak with a small smirk "ok bye!" said derp "bye" said oak as he waved off.
"so where should we go?" said derp as he started walking out of town 'down this pathway?' said herp through telepathy "ok" said derp as they started walking down the dirt road 'look' said herp
As he pointed to a person with brownish blackish spiky hair who was saying something like "come down Pikachu please" said the kid as he kept trying to take a cute yellow rat out of the tree "hey do you need some help" derp asked "wah!" the kid said as he jumped from being startled "uhhhh yeah I would like some help" said the kid as he accepted derps help then a weird bird flew into the tree with the yellow rat in it then the bird squawked "INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT" then the strange bird started poking the yellow rat out of the tree and into the kids arm's then it started to go after both derp and the kid "DAMN!" both derp and the kid said as they started to run away which wasn't very effective as they ran straight and then jumped into the water as a last ditch attempt to get away from the weird bird as everything went black *cough cough* "where are we?" both derp and the kid asked in their mind "ough hey look a bike!" said the kid as he spotted a red head girl asking if they were all right "yes both me and this kid are ok." Derp said then both him and the kid (who was still carrying the yellow rat) who soon after wards. They noticed a whole flock of the weird birds flying at them "damn it they regrouped we must move." Said derp as he spotted the birds flying at them then both him and the kid.
"Ok um what's your name?" the kid said to derp "derp my name is derp." said derp "Oh well my name is Ash." Said Ash "Ok less chatter more riding!" said derp 'derp they are still following you!' said herp 'thanks' thought derp. They rode and rode the sky turned dark it was a lightning storm!
"Um derp?" said ash "what" said derp "There's thunder!" said ash "no kidding captain obvious!" said derp with sarcasm then just as a town was in view the bike crashed. "ough" they both said at the same time as they hit the ground and it all went black.
Then just as they all regained consciousness derp saw the little rat thing jump out of ash's arms and into the battle 'what's a little rat gonna do?' thought derp then just as he thought it the little rat made a LIGHTNING BOLT that took out all of the birds! 'WHAT!' thought both derp and herp at the same time.
"Umm ash?" said derp "yeah?" said ash "The bike is fried." Said derp "well the city is just up ahead." said ash "k let's go!" so our hero's walked all the way to the next city it took about 1 hour to get there but when they got to the city it was only almost one km. but half way there ash stopped "derp look!" ash said as he pointed into the sky "cool!" said derp as he saw it what was it? It was a giant goldish bird! "Umm ash?" said derp "yeah derp?" said ash "I need to tell you something" said derp
"What?" said ash "I am not from this world." Said derp "ahahahahhaha ah ahh your kidding right?" said ash "nope." Said derp "for real!?" said ash "for real." Said derp "and! I am not alone!" said derp "what do you mean?" said ash "I have a sister that was transformed into a pink cat thing" said derp as he released herp from her ball.
"WHAT!? That's your sister?" said ash as his mouth dropped to the floor "yeah?" said derp "that's the legendary Pokémon mew!" said ash
'Well this is awkward….' Thought herp as he saw ash's mouth drop to the floor start to sputter with words like "wha….how….Legendary…Mew...…" where ash final words before he fainted while Pikachu just stood there bowing while saying "pika pika pika pi." which meant "all hail lord mew." Over and over then both herp and derp face palmed from his actions 'was he always like this?' asked herp "pretty much." Said derp "But the Pikachu never well bows" said derp as they saw ash start to twitch on the floor and then they face palmed again and again and again and again and you get the gist of it "hey ash get up you look like a crazy person." Said derp as he tried to slap the crazy out of him "well looks like I'm going to have to carry ash." Said derp "nononononononononono" said ash not wanting to be dragged over the dirt and stones "then get up!" said derp to ash "fine" said ash "I wish I had a mew." Ash mumbled 'WHAT WAS THAT?' thought herp to ash "nothing just nothing' ash thought and said at the same "hey don't make me slap that anger out of you!" said derp "FINE!" ash said and herp thought to derp.
'psssst ash just think to me to respond k?' thought herp to ash 'k' thought ash 'hey ash you know what derps anger level is at?' thought herp 'what?' thought ash 'It's OVER 9000!' thought herp then both ash and herp burst into laughter "what's so funny?" derp said then they laughed harder "what's so funny!?" said derp "you are!" replied ash "why you little…. !?" said derp as his anger levels truly passed 9000! Then the chase was on (it's best to read this scene with mission impossible or James bond music playing in the back ground) they ran and jumped across buildings with Pikachu and herp laughing their heads off then they were chased across buildings and other objects trying to do parkour to gain ahead (which is what ash also did and is still doing) then this continued the best parts where when derp caught ash and made him run around the whole city in his underwear(which I have done and it very humiliating note to self don't challenge someone with colors for running to a race and set bets) and when Pikachu and herp where caught and where forced to wear clothes which they hated!
"That was fun!" said derp as ash, Pikachu and herp all got back from doing their punishments then just as derp finished that a purple black hole appeared "what the fudge!?" said derp in surprise then a white triangle jumped out of the black hole "whaaaa?" said ash as he saw the white triangle "hey y.v.!" said derp "hey derp long time no see!" said y.v. as he saw derp "where is the rest of the crew?" asked derp "they will be here in a sec. " said y.v. "cool a new Pokémon!" said ash as he threw a poke ball (which you use to capture Pokémon which Pikachu is) at y.v. "hey that hurt!" said y.v. as the poke ball hit his head "so you're not a Pokémon?" asked ash "what is a… ah forget about it." Said y.v. "so do you guys still got the weapons?" asked y.v. "yup' said derp as he pulled out the golden revolver and herp used telepathy to communicate while using telekinesis to hold the gun "here comes the whole crew!" said y.v. as the crew came "what and who are they?" asked ash extremely confused "well I'm yung Venus." said y.v. "this is fish" said y.v. as he introduced fish the fish "this is rouge" said y.v. "this is bandit" said y.v. "this is melted." Said y.v. "this is eyes." Said y.v. "and this guy is new his name is horror." Said y.v. as he introduced horror "hey guys you don't need your guns here by the way" said derp "we only need these poke balls which you damage a little and then you throw the ball at them then you own them!" said derp "well that makes sense!" said eyes "well we better get going you guys coming with?" said derp "also some people might think you guys are Pokémon so they might throw poke balls at you." Said derp "and this is important ONLY SHOOT WHEN SHOT AT." Said derp "Well to ADVENTURE!" said rouge as he ran in front of everybody "hey wait up!" said everybody as they all tried to catch up with him
When all of our heroes finally caught up with rouge "jeez what took you so long! I've been standing here for 5 minutes!" said rouge impatiently "well it's not my fault that we are so slow!" said derp on every body's defense "let's stop fighting k?!" said y.v. but derp was not listening as he saw someone very very suspicious "Hey!" said derp as he approached the person "hey." Said the stranger "what's your name?" asked derp "depends will you tell the cops?" asked the stranger "no..." replied derp "ok my name is aiden Pearce." Said Aiden Pearce "nice name." said derp "want to join us on an adventure!" asked y.v. "ack sure but next time please don't scare people like that." Said Aiden in fright still recovering from the last jump scare "well let's get going!" said derp as he lead our heroes down a path 'I wonder how long it will be before they recognize me as the vigilante hacker…' thought Aiden "hey don't I know you from somewhere?" asked derp as he thought he knew what Aiden was. "No have we met before?" asked Aiden with a little bit of sweat coming off of his forehead. "Nah just messing with ya!" said derp "ok that was not funny…" said Aiden "guys let's just focus on our journey ahead." Said y.v. "k." said derp so our heroes went ahead on the path to freedom (seriously the road they were going on was called freedom.) "hey guys this is a good place to stop and take a brake "yeah I'm starving I haven't eaten anything in like 10 minutes!" said ash "seriously?" asked derp "yup" said ash "well I'm off to catch some Pokémon anyone coming with?" asked derp "me!" said Aiden, rouge, y.v., fish and eyes. "Well get your poke balls. And let's go!" said derp as they darted off into the woods.
2 hours later "well that was fun." Said derp as they came back to their camp "yeah I still can't believe you caught a latias ash!" said y.v. "that and that fact that we all got back packs for some reason." Said Aiden "yeah that was really strange." Said derp 'dinners ready!' said herp "coming!" said derp as he walked to the camp fire "FOOD!" said ash as he ran as fast as he could toward where the food was at now some face palmed and some sweat dropped but it was insane how fast he ate it was like a fat kid on Halloween times ten! "Hey ash leave some for us!" said derp on everybody's behalf "yeah!" said everyone else "fine here have half of the food" said ash as he tossed 10 steaks and some bread and vegies and basically a lot of food at derp covering him in a mountain of food which was insane and so was the heat of the food in fact there was so much food that herp had to teleport derp out. "Well that just happened." Said derp as he exited the pile of food.
"Sorry." said ash while laughing 'uhhh guys we better get moving…' said herp "why?" asked fish 'well lets just say that derp does not like being laughed at.' Said herp "hey ash can I tell you something?" asked derp "run." Said derp as ash was close to him then just as he started to run derp ran as fast as he could now of course he used latias because she (yes latias is a she) is the fastest Pokémon but not fast enough because derp ran so fast that he was gaining speed "HEY ASH!" asked derp "YEAH?" answered ash "LET'S BATTLE" said derp "OK latias slow down k?" asked ash "ok now let's battle go charmeleon!" said derp "go Pikachu!" said ash "charmeleon use flamethrower!" charmeleon's flame thrower shot proud and clear "Pikachu dodge it!" said ash as Pikachu jumped "charmeleon use fire spin!" then charmeleon pulled fire around him and span very fast towards Pikachu "Pikachu are you ok?" asked ash "yeah I'm fine" said Pikachu while rubbing his head "ok Pikachu return go latias!" said ash "latias use steel wing!" said ash as latias came close for the strike her wings turned white and left a trail behind hitting charmeleon from behind "ok charmeleon return!" as he recalled charmeleon "ok go herp!" said derp 'do I have to?' asked herp "yup!" said derp 'fine.' Said herp "well this is going to be interesting" said ash "you bet!" said derp "herp use metronome!" herp charged some electricity and produced a huge ball of electricity around itself and ran straight at latias he was so fast that latias couldn't dodge and latias was damaged but only by half because of typing difference "ok my turn latias use reflect type!" latias changed type to psychic "ok herp use metronome!" one of herp's teeth glowed and turned white and bit hard into latias putting latias down to half health "latias use dragon pulse" latias collected purple energy all around her mouth forming a ball then blew it out of her mouth making a solid line of purple dragon energy going extremely fast but mew almost got out of the way she was clipped on her tail dealing full damage 'hacks' muttered herp as that happened "ok mew use metronome!" herp pulled some blue energy in her small hands and then just threw it at latias since she put the homing lock on it there was no escape "ok herp follow it up with metronome!" said derp herp's tail glowed fire red and a giant v came right out of it the v was on fire and struck just dead on causing latias to faint "latias are you ok?" asked ash as latias gave a reassuring coo "ok latias return go Pikachu!" said ash "ok herp you can return to cooking or something" said derp 'thank you!' said herp "ok charmeleon I chose you!" said derp "charmeleon use fire blitz!" charmeleon charged a big red ball of fire and then threw It straight at Pikachu who simply dodged out of the way "ok Pikachu use aura tail!" said ash as Pikachu's tail glowed blue, went stiff and produced a blue ball and then the blue ball shot of from the tail and landed dead on causing charmeleon to almost faint but not before using flamethrower which caused Pikachu to faint just as charmeleon fainted "so tie?" said derp "yup tie!" said ash
So after our hero's healed up all of their Pokémon while Aiden said his goodbyes. "Bye Aiden!" said everyone "well guys time to head to pewter city to get our first badges!" said derp "umm derp where are we?" asked fish "you want the good news or bad news?" said derp "good news." Said fish "good news is that we are having a great time to catch Pokémon!" said derp "and the bad news?" said fish "is that we are definitely lost." Said derp looking sheepish "ok I got an idea derp, y.v., rouge, and I will go left everyone else will go right k?" said fish "sure!" said everybody.
One hour later
"Guys wait my phone is ringing." Said derp "oh hey ash how are you?" said derp "good by the way we are finally at pewter city!" said ash "nice let me just teleport to you k? Asked derp "sure!" replied ash. "Umm ash?" asked derp "what is anything wrong?" said ash "this is 2fort and yes it is call 2fort with a 2 not two but 2!" said derp "also there are only 18 people here well 9 people and their twins." Said derp "is that all?" said melted "nope they and kill each other every day but there are times when they are friendly." Said derp "how do they survive?" asked ash "they got something called respawn that basically respawns them then seconds after their death!" said derp while everyone was dumbfounded "oh and by the way I recommend that you don't wear any red or blue clothes." Said derp "why?" asked rouge "simple they are actually two companies fighting guess what their names are?" said derp 1 minute later "no one knows?" everyone nods their heads "their names are reliable excavation demolition and builders league united and what are theirs name abbreviated?" asked derp "red and blu!" said eyes then the realization dawned on them that was why he said not to wear red or blue clothes! "well lets go speak to them!" as they all ran to the 2 forts that lay ahead.
10 minutes later
Derp was dodging bullets while shooting his own out of cover they just had to get in just as the cease fire ended they just had to "STOP!" said derp "WE DON'T HAVE RESPAWN!" then all bullets stopped except for one sniper bullet which hit derp right in the gut making a hole "crud" was the last word he spoke before he fell to the floor dead all of his poke balls opened and everyone in the group pooled around him then fire burned in all of their eyes ash's body had blue flames coming out of his body y.v. had a golden Gatling gun rouge made twenty copies of her self eyes made a whole giant ball of physic energy and herp well let's just say that you don't anger his sister "what the heck?" said the sniper when he no longer had any control and was pulled towards the group before everyone in the group attacked 20 minutes later ahead of them was Man co the company that made respawn they walked forward carrying the corpse of derp toward Man co for hope that he could respawn and if that did not work well them let's just say that man co won't be here much longer 5 minutes of walking later "mister hale a group of people are here to see you."
Said hale's butler "well hello!" hale said with an Australian accent as he turned his swivel chair to meet face to face with 18 people half with golden guns half changing some attacks and one corpse "please register him for respawn" asked the kid with blue fire around him "nope!" said hale then he fought an onslaught of bullets punches electrocution and best of all physic energy with him barley able to speak the kid asked again "so will he be able to respawn or do you want to have a fun trip to the moon?" said ash "fine ill add him to the respawn list along with all of you ok?" said hale with an Australian accent "thank you!" ash said "oh and by the way I got a compromise for the battle for who gets the land Redmond gets half and Blutarch gets half. "And red and blu can join us and they will also make some good money." At the word money both teams ran straight in asking if they could come.
from out of nowhere there was a golden light that appeared right in the center of the room "ok what is this?" said the scout "well I never!" said the sniper in awe "hello!" said the person derp just came running in "ok what did I miss!" he said "no way!" said the person floating down "derp!" said the person "wait a sec and who are you?" said derp "huh I thought you would recognize me." Said the person "well derp I am your brother Logan!" said Logan "well this awkward." Said ash sheepishly "you bet!" said the engineer "well guys I already got my Pokémon let's go!" said Logan as he ran down the building he stopped dead on not moving but still somehow defying gravity "what you guys forgot the respawn?" said Logan "no but how are you defying gravity?" said derp "well it is a theory!" said Logan "true well guys lets join him!" said derp "I'm going to run circles around you!" said the scout "and I'll run circles around your circles!" said Logan "meet you guys at pewter!" said Logan with ash close behind 10 minutes later Logan was running from roof top to roof top jumping to his heart's content "finally you guys are here Oh and scout's here!" said Logan "what is it?" said red scout "it's just a little machine the doubles your speed and lets you do parkour also everyone gets it including our Pokémon!" said Logan "nice!" said the everyone
Logan: well that just happened
derp: ok why did i die?
Logan: fine i'll tell you just stop death staring me
Logan: cus i wanted a reason for everyone to be sad then mad then happy
Ash: so you basically wanted us to have an emotional rollercoster
Logan: yup!