Super smash Locked and Loaded
"I'm glad you were all able to make it today," Master hand said in his booming baritone. I've been noticing a lot of fighting amongst all of you, and it needs to stop. After the whole pie day incident and everything, human resources told me I had to come up with an idea to bring you all together or else we're out. I've already lost the deposit on this mansion because you all had to grind cream and frosting, and crust in to the wood and carpet and walls, oh and ceiling. And don't even get me started on the cat fight in the women's dressing room.
"Hey that's peaches fault!" Zelda cried.
"It's true," Lucina agreed. "She steals clothes.
"It's not my fault you guys don't want to share," she retorted.
"This is exactly the problem.
"Oh, and can you tell wario to stop clogging all the toilets including the girl's bathroom? It's really a problem," Samus added.
"It's master's hand's fault we got those low flow toilets," Wario Grunted.
Master hand flashed with pulses of energy, and shot the closest smasher, who happened to be Jiggly puff, who started whimpering.
"Oh poor thing," Peach cooed, picking up the smoldering creature, and cradling her gently.
"Can I have your attention now?" Master Hand questioned, his fingers clenched.
"Good,' he said once the murmurs had ceased.
"I have an idea of how all of you can get your anger out while waiting for the smash tournament is being prepared without further defacing this mansion. I booked the largest laser tag arena I could find for you all to take out your frustrations.
"Laser tag?" Dark pit scoffed. "What is this the eighties?"
"Some of the other children laughed.
None of that," commanded Master Hand. It was the only idea they really liked. Crazy Hand suggested to just let you all go to the back courtyard and let you kill each other, but the paper work on that would be immense."
"Let's kill each other!" Bowser Junior shrieked, bouncing up and down.
Ness and Lucas backed away uneasily.
No more of this nonsense. I promise there will be consequences if there is anymore chaos!" he boomed, sending everyone once again into a deep silence. "Be up at eight Tomorrow morning to get ready to go. If any of you are late, or do not show up for the smash breakfast proceeding the game ..."
"That means you villager," Tune Link jeered, laughing.
"Hey, Hey. I still owe Nook for my house ok? And that comes before some stupid tournament ok?"
"Anyway's," Master Hand said with an impatient sigh. No excuses.
Everyone nodded and filed out of the room.
The next morning everyone made it out for breakfast to the surprise of Master Hand, and everyone was relatively well behaved.
Pikachu did shock charizard when someone dropped their fork loudly. In reaction, Charizard burnt Pikachu to a crisp, and also set the table cloth on fire. Greninja quickly put it shout with his water gun attack, and everyone settled back into their meal.
When they arrived at Laser Land, they saw that the whole place was empty and just for them. There were barricades and beams and all kinds of obstacles.
"This actually looks pretty cool," Corrin said in awe.
"Yeah no kidding," Robin agreed.
"Woe!" Yoshi added.
"everyone settle down! Settle down!" master Hand commanded.
A hush fell over the group.
Thank you, Master Hand," said a man, who came to stand next to him.
"Greetings all!" he called, his voice echoing throughout the arena. "I am Tom Nook, and I am here to bid you welcome to my arena."
"Who's that guy?" Bayonetta questioned.
"I came from a different universe where everything looks completely different, and ... well ... anyway's, it's a long story, but this is my arena, and you shall be playing for honor and glory today.
"It's just laser tag," Mario whispered to Luigi, who nodded hesitantly.
"It's not just laser tag," he stated, making the Mario Brothers jump. "The winner will get 2 things. First of all, they will get a hand made trophy in there own likeness, plated in gold."
"Everyone ooed and awed at this pronouncement.
"The second thing," Nook continued "Is exclusive rights to pick all of the stages you wish to fight in during your next tournament."
At this, the lot of them burst into loud excited conversations with their neighbors.
"Silence!" Master hand boomed, shaking the arena.
A hush fell over the room.
"So I have no idea how to play this dumb game. I just own the arena.. Here to explain the game to you all is toad."
"Oha noa. Donta givea him the micraphonea," Mario called, but it was too late.
"HELLO! I'M TOAD!" Toad shrieked, causing the micraphone to ring out with static.
Everyone covered their ears and cringed. Duck hunt ran around barking madly. The duck fell off his back, and waddled around quacking madly, and trying to find his companion.
"Talka quieter Toad!" Luigi called out from the crowd.
"OK!" Toad shrieked again, causing more noise to ring through the speakers.
"this is going to be a long day," Gannondorf grumbled to Bowser, who roared in agreement.
"SO THE RULES ARE VERY SIMPLE. YOU HAVE TO SHOOT THE OTHER PLAYERS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. NO TOUCHING OR TACKLING IS ALOUD. IF YOU GET SHOT FIVE TIMES YOUR GUN WILL STOP WORKING AND YOU WILL LOSE. DOES EVERYONE GET IT?" he yelled.
"Everyone nodded, not wanting Toad to talk again.
"Very good," Tom said, taking the micraphone back from Toad before he could say an other word.
"Remember the prizes everyone, because only first and second get something."
"Hey," Riu called. Does third place not get a prize as well. That is how it always works!"
"Fine. Fine. Third place gets to live, now let the games begin. Please enter the arena, all, so that we may start.
"They wouldn't kill us would they?" the Villager asked worriedly.
"Of course not. I think it was just a simple joke," Rosalina said reassuringly as she walked passed him.
They all filed in to the arena, and waited along one wall. Toad and Waluigi went through the smashers, handing them all their guns. Once that was finished they departed the arena, and closed the gate.
"I myself hate this violence," Peach breathed to Zelda and Samus next to her.
"Then get out of here princess, and go back to your kingdom wherever that is," Samus breathed back sharply. "I mean really though, if you hate violence, then why do you do the smash tournament?"
"Oh hush, Samus. You shouldn't talk that way," Zelda chastised.
"You've said it," Zero suit Samus came back.
Peach turned away, hurt by there words. Just then, toad's voice came back over the intercom.
"We begin in 5! 4! 3! 2! ... 1!" he cried.
At that, smashers scattered to all sides of the arena. Hundreds of Laser beams filled the air like glowing spider webs. Peach, to her delight got Samus twice and zero suit Samus once before Palutena took her out all five times from behind. Peach shot an angry look back before exiting the area. Samus got link from behind, and link whipped around and shot, but she ducked out of the way so that the beam passed over her head. She rolled aside jumped back to her feet, and leapt on to a barricades before vaulting to a beam hi above.
"IMA WARIO! IMA GONNA WIN!" he cried, making his bike appear from nowhere.
At that proclamation, he mounted his bike one of his tiny minions proffered to him, and began herding all the children he could into a corner. Within moments he had Tune link, Ness, and Lucas trembling before the might of his motor bike.
"Forfeit, or getta run over," he commanded.
They all dropped their guns without a word, and he shot all of them until their guns darkened. With downcast eyes, they walked over to join peach, Roy, Marth, and Zelda, all of which had been knocked out of the game.
Both pit and dark pit flew hi in to the air to get away from wario's bike, but were made easy targets, and were soon shot down, being forced to join the others outside the gate. "Wario where did you get your bike!" Master hand cried.
"I hava my ways," he answered, his triple chins jiggling happily.
"WELL YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED!" Toad shrieked.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" Wario cried, waddling out of the arena.
The pokemon were really going at it. Pikachu was using his agility to jump from beam to beam, Just barely missing being shot by cloud and shulk who were both going after him. While Cloud was reloading to shoot again, Shulk came up from behind, and shot him twice in the back, before he dropped to the ground. Shulk was busy basking in his excitement and didn't notice Samus drop from a beam above him, getting two good shots at him. Shulk and Cloud both split in different directions as fast as they could go.
"You better run!" Samus called after them joyfully, taking a shot at Kirby, and making her mark. Kirby's gun went dark, and he dropped it and exited.
Unfortunately, back in the chaos of the arena, Yoshi was no match against the tag team of Pikachu and Greninja, and admitted defeat.
Zelda and Link went at the battle with ferocity, while Gannon, unseen, got both of them out of the game.
"While I fail in hyrule, I do not fail in laser tag," he stated triumphantly, holding up his gun. However, he was close to being out himself, and Greninja and Lucario both got him from atop one of the barricades. He mumbled to himself and joined Bowser outside the arena.
Pikachu and Greninja went at it, shooting beams and zooming around the stage. Charizard soared overhead, sending torrents of flames down at the other players.
"Will someone get him out of here?" Master hand shrieked.
No one volunteered for the job.
"Darn it man. Can't we get a trainer in here?" Tom Nook questioned irritably.
"He's wild. He doesn't have a trainer," master hand responded.
"Why in the name of profit did you let a wild dragon on your smash team?"
"The choosing was not up to me. I had no say," master hand protested.
"A flaming column descend from the ceiling, nearly striking Palutena, who dove out of the way. Unfortunately, she was open for attack by Samus, who got her twice.
"Good game," Palutena said, bowing at Samus, who simply shrugged in reply. Just then, Lucario shot a water gun attack up at charizard, who got sprayed right on the flame of his tail. He came crashing down, smashing a barricades beneath him. Wire frames rushed into the gaming area, loaded him on to a cart, and wheeled him away. There was a momentary pause before laser tag began again in earnest.
The game went on and on. Pikachu and Greninja got exhausted from all of their incredible agility and were eliminated. Meta Knight was shot first by donkey Kong, and then he was going to take out Lucina, but realized he needed to reload his gun, and she shot him before he could take her out.
Lucina twirled the gun in her hands expertly, and dove back into the fray. Before long, Samus, Cloud, Shulk, and Lucina remained.
Cloud shot at Lucina, and she rolled right into Samus, who delivered the final beam to Lucina's head.
"Way to go, Lucina, Roy, Robin, and Corrin all cried in unison.
"Thanks guys," She replied dejectedly.
Back in the arena, Samus managed to sneak, unheard, behind cloud, ending his participation in the game as well.
"She's a beast ain't she!" Shulk called amiably.
Cloud nodded sullenly and joined the others.
"now that we are down to our finalists it is time for sudden death. When I say go, you shoot, and whoever shoots the other first wins," master hand stated.
"Shulk and Samus nodded in understanding.
"Ready! go! he boomed.
Shulk shot first, but Samus jumped up and missed the beam by mere inches. She angled her laser at Shulk, who back flipped to miss it. Samus growled in frustration, while Shulk chuckled happily, Dancing behind a barricade. Samus jumped on top of the barricade. Shulk stepped back, but did not get out of her range in time, and was defeated.
"The champion!" master hand boomed.
"Champion?" Tom Nook spat furiously. You expect me to hand out prizes after these people destroyed Laser Land? I don't think so.
"My kingdom can pay for it," Peach stated.
"Or we could always do an other fund raiser," Bowser said with a low chuckle.
Many of the smashers exchanged smiles.
"no fund raisers," master hand demanded.
"Everyone looked down with sullen eyes.
"Well, I won first place," Samus said, stepping forward. "if we pay you by a certain time, can we still get our prizes?"
"Money by Tomorrow or no prizes.
"We need more time, peach protested. "Even if I paid you from my treasury it would take at least a week to get here.
"Tomorrow," Nook responded with finality.
They all sighed in disappointment.
"Oh, and you all need to clean this place up.
"Man can't we take a nap first?" Link protested with a yawn and a stretch.
"Oh please, you just don't wanna help," Zelda shot at him angrily.
"Well exuuuuuuuuse me, princess, but I happen to be tired, and this game took a lot out of me."
Everyone started laughing while Zelda blushed, enraged.
"All righta letsa get to work," Mario said, disbanding the giggles.
With that, everyone started on the cleaning. Mega man, Rob, and packman stood off to one side, whispering together.
"Hey! Get over here and help," Cloud shot at them, making them jump.
"We will be with you in a moment," rob said.
Within a few moments they went to join the others.
The cleaning took many long hours, and by the time they were done, the sun had completely set.
"Can we geta dinner. Ima starving," Wario complained.
"Does anyone have any money? I surely don't," master hand informed them.
"Everyone gazed around inquiringly.
"Mario and I gotta money we canna share," Luigi finally volunteered.
"Now what do you all want?" master hand queried.
"I saw a burger queen on the way here," Roy said.
"That is not very healthy though," Zelda stated.
"Oh whoa Caresa," Wario said with a sniff.
"You should," Marth mumbled under his breath.
"I say we getta soma pizza," Mario supplied. I saw a mamma Janesa Pizzas on the waya here.
"No no! Burger queen!" Olimar argued. "They have the hopper. It's the only Pikmin friendly burger around.
"Let's just go to burger queen. I'm too tired to argue this anymore," Cloud said, annoyed and flustered at the whole situation.
Everyone eventually agreed, and they set off for dinner.
When they got back to the smash mansion master hand gathered them all in a room.
"So how do any of you propose to make Nook's money by Tomorrow hmm?"
"We actually have some great news about that," Rob began. Packman came up with the idea to record the laser tag event, and after our last fund raiser and it's success I agreed, so Mega man and I set everything up and recorded the whole thing. Apparently, there is a web site called .com, and it's full of videos of different people playing laser tag.
"How will this help?" master hand grumbled.
"Well," Mega man continued, "A Video game maker from Gravegunner studios saw our video, and wants to pay us for the rights to the video and make a game based on it. He said he'd give us like 100000 dollars. That should cover the costs of all the damages.
"Indeed that would. Go ahead and make the exchange then.
"done and done," Mega man stated happily.
"it's already done?" master hand asked.
"well yeah," Rob responded.
"Why did you not consult me first?"
"honestly, sometimes it's easier to ask for your forgiveness rather than your permission," Lucina said. "Remember when Zelda asked if she could bring her cats to the mansion and you said no? Well that's why we don't ask you for stuff anymore.
"You realize she wanted to bring all 10 cats yes?"
"So," Sheik protested. "This place is almost as big as her castle and has a bigger courtyard. They would have been fine.
Master Hand huffed agitatedly.
"Well, either way, we need to stop using the Internet to solve our problems. It's too risky.
"Don't be ridiculous," link said, leaning back in his chair. "The Internet solves all of life's problems.
"No it does not," the hand argued.
"It has for us," Corrin said.
"Well we need to not let these kinds of things happen anymore. Do you all understand?"
They all nodded.
"Now can we go to bed?" Link questioned in a whine.
"Yes. Yes. Let's all go our separate ways," master hand agreed.
They all stood, bid one an other a good night's rest, and departed the conference chamber.