Disclaimer: All rights of the characters go to the people that own this show (which I am not party to). All rights to the lyrics of the song go to Martina McBride.
Dedication: For Hazel. Because I think if I hadn't found out that today is you birthday I'd have left this unfinished in my incomplete one-shots folder forever. So... happy birthday and hope you like it.
*o0O0o*
* This One's For the Girls *
*o0O0o*
this one's for the girls
who've ever had a broken heart
who've wished upon a shooting star
you're beautiful the way you are
this one's for the girls
who love without holding back
who dream with everything they have
all around the world
this one's for the girls
*o0O0o*
Elena entered her bedroom – or more accurately the warmly lit space in the guest wing of the Mikaelson mansion – and let out a tired sigh at her reflection in the mirror next to the bed. Despite the pleasant meal she'd compelled for herself not even a full hour ago the face staring back at her was drawn and hollow.
The emptiness of it wasn't for lack of blood, she knew.
In the month following the regaining of her humanity - her nails pierced the skin of her palm, cutting lines of crimson into the tender flesh as she clenched her fists and swallowed down her bitterness - …in that month she'd fed well and regained all the weight she lost while being starved. But some part of that experience stayed in the lines of her face, and sometimes when she tilted her head just so… she could swear the skeletal appearance of 'then' was still present.
She wished she could erase it, - wished until her chest hurt and her throat muscles clenched with the fight to contain the powerful cries clawing their way out - that she could go back.
Back to not caring, to the freedom of only feeling the sweetness of blood and not the guilt of ordering her meal to stand still and not scream, to the physical ecstasy of a kiss without the messy emotions ruining the moment. Back to having her heart be just hers.
Sometimes when she forgot herself, she found her mind wishing to go back further than that. To Jeremy. To Jenna and Alaric and John. Back to mom and dad.
But that hurt too much.
She noticed a tear threaten to fall and angrily wiped it away before it could get the chance to. She hadn't cried since that night and she wouldn't now.
The memories flashed through her mind as lightning bolts, quick and painfully sharp. The hunger and the searing pain of the sun. Her skin itched from the ghostly pain. The taunts of Katherine and their own relentless torture. The glass of the mirror cracked under her fingertips as she closed her eyes and rested her brow against its cool surface. The way they tricked her into feeling again by using one of her oldest friends as a pawn. She breathed through the sudden onslaught of emotion and fought to push the pulsing veins under her eyelids back into invisibility.
They forced her to break the wall holding back the avalanche of her grief, like they forced her to create it in the first place… but they would not make her cry. They wanted her to feel? Fine! But they didn't deserve to be included in those feelings.
Elena couldn't let them win. She would never again let them win.
Every time she looked at them now she had to swallow down the burning anger. Not because she wished to spare them her hatred… but because she knew that her feigned apathy was worse.
After all… the opposite of love has never been hatred.
And though stubborn little traces of that all encompassing affection she once held for them both lived on, she had become a good enough actress to hide those away. Elena was well aware there would come a day where she would either finally be able to purge the Salvatore brothers from her heart or where she would have to forgive them their numerous selfish actions.
But right now she didn't have enough strength left in her for either and she had no wish to try. Not for them.
Her tempestuous musings were interrupted by a hesitant knock at the bedroom door.
Elena's hand twitched from Alaric's training as if she was about to reach for a stake she hadn't carried since her turning. The only one she currently shared a house with was Rebekah, - the other woman's brothers had moved to New Orleans, leaving their sister as lonely as Elena… which quite obviously accounted for the reluctant invitation that had brought her here weeks ago – and Rebekah was never one for a hesitant anything.
Before she had a chance to worry about an uninvited guest – likely one of the ones she least wished to see - the door was pushed open in a manner much more in character with Rebekah's personality… meaning without verbal permission.
"Brilliant, you're not asleep yet. We are going out."
"Why would I be asleep? It's barely eight Rebekah." Elena pointed out to her generous host and felt her lips twitch in amusement. "Despite what you might think of me I've never been that good of a girl."
Unimpressed raise of an eyebrow was Elena's only answer. Elena groaned.
"Fine. Where are we going?"
"The Grill. The mall. To dance and catch a dinner. I really don't care, but I'm bored so let's go find something to liven up this damn quiet!"
Elena was just about ready to agree – her own mind was not cooperating this evening either, - but then her senses caught up with her.
Rebekah's breathing was accelerated and hitched with each inhale. Her heart was acting as if she'd just run a marathon, but she wasn't out of breath and she didn't look scared or nervous – and even thousand year old Original's couldn't easily hide those sorts of signs. She did however look like she was moments away from dissolving into tears,
Elena took a second of hesitation while her mind fought against caring for someone who had very literally killed her. But despite what she had liked to believe while her switch was still on… this Original vampire had become a friend during their quest to acquire the cure for the one among them who had actually, freely wanted it.
And seeing a friend upset had never been something Elena could turn her back on.
Rebekah must have seen some of her thoughts reflecting on her face because suddenly she looked away trying to find anything to halt Elena's concerned questions. They were a lot alike, neither enjoyed exposing open wounds.
Rebekah seemed to find her chance for a change of conversation behind Elena's back.
"What the hell did you do to the mirror? Do you have any idea how much its worth?"
"Wasn't Klaus the one who paid for it?"
That brought the other vampire to a halt, seemingly even made her forget whatever had upset her - for the smile she suddenly portrayed was wholly gleeful.
"… Good point!"
They took a moment to bond over their shared enjoyment of anything getting in the way of Klaus having a pleasant day. But before Rebekah could get a chance to distract her again Elena asked in a voice as nonthreatening and as carefully unsympathetic as she could make it to be. She knew that if her tone could be translated as pity - in any way - there would be no possibility of getting an answer that didn't involve serious physical harm.
"Are you alright? What happened?"
The blonde's eyes flashed with pain and she opened her mouth to speak. Elena's expression grew darker with every word.
*o0O0o*
The following morning she barged into the Salvatore manor like a force of nature. The lock on the door was left broken behind her as she stormed towards the living room where she had no doubt Damon was waiting for her.
He was. Him, a smirk… and two glasses of whiskey.
"Elena. What a surprise, please do come in."
She took a moment to observe him. Over the year she'd known him Elena had gotten good at it. After all, she needed to know the kind of mindset she was walking in on. Would she have to be careful of making him jealous and worry about what he'd do as retaliation to Stefan? Or maybe Katherine had just broken his heart again and she needed to be careful so that her brother's neck wasn't snapped – at his name resounding through her mind a sharp blade of loss cut into her. Or most dangerous of all, was something threatening her life again and was one of her friends going to be placed in the position to deal with the fallout?
But no, Damon's eyes were completely calm, like a puppet master he had pulled the strings with all his facilities intact and gotten exactly what he set out do. Brought her here, to him.
And he'd done so by playing with Rebekah's heart again. This action was unforgivable and she would make sure he learned that lesson thoroughly. Her voice once she used it was harsh and quiet, almost a hiss.
"God, you don't even see it do you Damon? The way you treat me like a doll?"
"I love you Elena."
"Really?" She looked at him and prepared to say the things emotionless Elena might have… if she'd cared enough "You can't trust them Elena, they've betrayed you Elena. Forgive me Elena. I need your forgiveness Elena. I love you Elena. I'll always choose you Elena, even if I have to kill Bonnie and Caroline and Matt. I'll always protect you Elena. Turn it off Elena! Turn it on Elena!"
"Elena…"
"I'm not a toy. I have the right to forgive or to hate. My compassion isn't for you to use when it suits you and scorn when I direct it at Rebekah or Elijah after the tragedies that have befallen them. And I should have had the choice to mourn or not. And the choice to let it all back in? That should have been mine too. But it wasn't was it? You took it from me. You've taken my choices away at every turn. So I'm done. I'm done with you and I'm done with Stefan and I'm done with Mystic Falls."
"Elena… I'm sorry."
"I know. I don't care. I could… but this time, I choose not to."
She went on to send him one last glare and turned to leave. But like always he couldn't seem to let her walk away without having his last word.
"How's Rebekah today?"
She froze with her hand on the doorknob, the muscles on her back tensing and her fists clenched squeezing the metal in her hands till it creaked at the strain. Turning around back towards him there's yet another triumphant grin waiting for her. Like he thought he'd won something.
"Leave Rebekah alone. You want to get to me? Use the phone."
"Jealous again, Elena?"
Her stance smoothed out, she slowly relaxed and smiled. There was an edge to it she knew he'd recognize and by the frown beginning to replace that falsely sweet smile of his he did.
Her next steps were slow and deliberate. Halfway to him, without releasing him from the trapping of her eyes, she stopped to pick something up from the antique sandalwood desk. She was like a predator with the meal within her sights and no plans to play with the food before satisfying this ravenous hunger, well… not extensively.
After all Damon needed to finally learn a lesson. She had compassion, she understood forgiveness, but no one was allowed to hurt her friends and family. And Elena was starting to realize that Rebekah had become both.
*o0O0o*
"Did I hear you stab Damon?"
Elena looked at Rebekah lounging in the bright sunlight against a very familiar light blue car, its engine purring under her hips, and smiled. At the back of her mind she didn't fail to notice in slight surprise how this smile was actually genuine.
"A distinct possibility. Did you hotwire his car?"
"Yes. So, where to first?"
Elena hummed under her breath while putting on the sunglasses and sliding into the driver's seat.
"California? I feel like checking out the beaches. We packed bikinis right?"