I already published this little story in my one shot series but I decided to post it on its own.
1944
Steve almost felt guilty that he and Bucky had the evening off while brave soldiers fought on continental Europe to defeat Nazi Germany and Hydra, but it was also nice to have some drinks with his best friend after all the craziness of the last months. He was just glad that Buck was okay and looking forward to fight by his side. Just the way he always wanted it. He could finally serve his country.
Buck had chosen a bar and he followed him through the dark streets of London. It was already late and most people were at home or already in bars. Since May London was safe and people could continue with their lives. It was almost hard to imagine that there was a war in continental Europe. Steve planned to enjoy this night because they had no idea what would happen once they returned to Europe.
"Unbelievable." Bucky muttered next to him and Steve looked at him.
"What?"
"Those girls over there?" He pointed behind them at a group of young women who smiled when he looked at them. "They're not even looking at me! It's like I don't exist!"
Steve chuckled and shook his head in amusement. He hadn't thought about it when he'd agreed to do project Rebirth but it was nice that women were now looking at him, but then he remembered that they would have probably ignored him if he still looked like his old self. "Welcome to my old world."
"Yeah, yeah." Bucky grunted. "Once we're back home, you have to find me dates! But we're never double dating! I don't think my ego could take that."
Home. God, he would be like this for the rest of his life. He could make it to thirty, go back to art school after the war. Maybe find a nice girl and marry her. There were so many possibilities for him now. But first he would make sure that he would earn that chance of a new future.
Bucky opened the door of the bar and Steve followed him inside. The bar was dark and full of smoke but it still was inviting. A few groups were sitting around tables but there weren't a lot of people here. He almost preferred it that way. Large crowds now reminded him of his show monkey days. He was just glad that Bucky hadn't seen him on stage. He would have never let him live that down.
They went to the counter and ordered two whiskeys. The bartender didn't have much to do and almost immediately gave them their order.
Steve raised his glass. "You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?" He asked, half joking half serious. They had no idea what was waiting for them. And now it was his responsibility and duty to lead a group of brave and honorable men into combat.
"Hell no." Bucky chuckled. "That little boy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run from a fight- I'm following him."
He nodded and took a sip from his whiskey. It was good to know that Bucky still saw him just as Steve and not...not this persona. He just wanted to do what was right and was eternally grateful that he finally got the chance.
Steve looked over to the other side of the bar where a redheaded woman was sitting. She smirked and raised her martini glass before she looked away. He knew that he was blushing and stared into his whiskey.
"What's so interesting down there?" Bucky asked.
"Nothing." He looked up and judging by the knowing grin on his best friend's face he still had a pink face.
"Oh, I know that look. Did you see a pretty dame?" Bucky looked around until his gaze landed on the redhead. God, she was truly a vision. He wondered what her voice sounded like. He wanted to know her eye color because he couldn't tell from where he was sitting if her eyes were blue or green.
"Wow." Bucky whistled. "Who knew that the Brits had so swell gals!"
Did the woman hear Bucky because she looked into their direction again with a smirk on her beautiful face. God, she really had to be the most gorgeous girl he'd ever seen. Her smirk turned into a real smile when she looked directly at him. He couldn't help but smile back.
Bucky huffed. "Great another woman who pays no attention to me! I almost miss the days where you were a just a little punk. Now it's like I'm invisible!"
He couldn't really feel sorry for Bucky, not when the redhead was still looking at him. And she didn't just look at him like the chorus girls or the women who'd come to the shows, no it was almost like she truly saw him. God, what was wrong with him? He didn't know the woman!
She stood up taking her drink with her and then she actually walked over. Bucky mumbled something under his breath and left him to go a table. The redhead was now standing next to him.
"Hi." She placed her drink next to his. God, her voice was so smooth and husky!
"Ma'am." He managed to get out and wished that the serum didn't just make him taller, but also gave him the ability to talk to women.
She seemed amused and pointed at the bar stool. "Can I join you?"
"Of course." He nodded and wanted to pull it out for her but she was faster.
"So you're a soldier, huh?" She said while she eyed his body and uniform.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Don't ma'am me, I've just turned 20." She laughed and her laugh was beautiful.
"Sorry, ma-. Sorry. I'm Steve Rogers."
"Natalia." She said smoothly and held her hand out. He took it and her skin was soft. He probably held her hand longer than was socially acceptable and almost dropped it when he'd realized it. She chuckled and let her hands fall into her lap. She was wearing a dark green dress that accentuated the color of her hair perfectly and it clung nicely to her body. Not that he noticed that. And he finally knew her eye color. They were green, the prettiest green he'd ever seen since the serum had fixed his color blindness. "Last night before you're shipped off?"
"Something like that."
"Am I bothering you? I feel like I chased your friend away."
He looked for Bucky who was talking to a pretty blonde. "I think he's fine. And no, you're not bothering me." He wondered where she was from because her accent didn't sound British but it didn't sound completely American as well. "What brings you to London, Miss? If you don't mind me asking?"
"My family sent me to London since it seems safe now." She answered before taking a sip from her martini. "I'm from Russia though, if that's what you're asking. But I haven't been there in years."
"Your accent-"
"Yeah, my mother was American. She always spoke English with me. Have you ever been to Europe before?"
"No." He laughed. "I could have never afforded it. I always wanted to come though...I wish circumstances were different..."
"Yeah." She nodded. "War seems so idiotic. Regimes fall everyday. Just look at my country and what happend to the house of Romanov. The Nazis will learn that lesson as well. Nothing lasts forever."
The way she talked...she almost seemed sad. "Are you all alone here in London?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking? You're trying to abduct me?"
"What? No!"
She laughed. "I was just kidding. Yes, it's just me. I kinda like it though. It's the first time I'm really on my own." Her beautiful eyes appeared to be clouded for a second. "The house was quite full and strict that I grew up in. Where are you from? America is quite big, isn't it?"
"Brooklyn, New York. Born and raised." He said, proudly.
"You always wanted to be a soldier? Risk your life for your country?" The way she said it, it almost sounded like she was mocking him,
"Yes. It's an honor to fight alongside my fellow men. We're fighting for a good cause. To free people from tyranny. To give them back their freedom. I just wanna help people."
She brushed a strain of hair behind her ear. "I don't mean to offend you, Steve." She used his first name like they'd known each other for years. Wait, did he even know her last name? "You'd be surprised how many soldiers are just in it for the fame and the girls. They don't really take it seriously. Speaking of girls, is there one waiting for you at home?" She asked with a grin.
"No." He answered with pink cheeks. "No one ever looked twice at me."
Her eyebrows almost reached her hairline. "What? Are American girls blind?"
"No." He said, almost bitterly. "Definitely not. I didn't always look like this. I...I was kind of... a late bloomer."
"So what? I consider myself a good judge of character and you seem like a good guy. Your eyes never once dropped to my neckline. I'm almost offended actually."
Now he was fully blushing and Natalia laughed. "I'm sorry?"
She was smiling at him. "And you're sweet. Almost adorably cute."
"Yeah, well...women don't seem to like that."
"Then they're morons! But maybe I should be thankful for that or otherwise you would have a girl waiting for you and wouldn't be talking to me." She said with a wink. Was she flirting with him? "What are you gonna do when the war is over?"
"I'm an artist...well, not really." He added quickly when he saw her face light up. "I mean I went to art school for a year and do sketches but it would be great to do it professionally. But I also wouldn't mind staying in the Army. " Could he even just leave the Army after the war? Wouldn't that be selfish? Living a civilian life even though he had all these abilities now?
Natalia reached into her purse and handed him a pen. She shoved her napkin over to him. "Can you draw me something?"
"Um...uh, what? What do you want me to draw?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Anything. I'm not picky. Hey, maybe you'll be a great artist one day and I can sell it." She grinned and he huffed a laugh out. That was more than unlikely but why not humor her. He thought about it for a moment and then started to move the pen over the napkin. He shoved it back to her after he was done, unable to look into her eyes.
"Is that me?" She breathed out and he looked up at her. Her cheeks were flushed and he couldn't quite tell what she was thinking. "Thank you. It's really beautiful."
"I had a beautiful model." He blurted out and his eyes widened in shock. Jesus Christ!
Natalia's cheeks turned even redder. "You're sweet. Thank you. I don't think I've never met such a nice boy before." She said and now she sounded almost bitter. He almost asked what that meant because the way he saw it, Natalia should only meet men who treated her well and with respect. He would always treat her with admiration and respect. God, where was he going with this?! He just met her and he was going back to the front in two days.
"What do you want to do?" He asked her.
"Right now, I'm just doing...jobs that... present itself. Someone has a task for me and I'll do it. But I always wanted to be a ballerina. I have the training but...well, it will never happen." She said with sad smile.
"Maybe once the war is over and everything is kind of back to normal? You could go to Paris." He would love to see her dance one day. He was sure that she would make a great ballerina.
"No. That's never gonna happen for me. My path is already made." She moved her hand forward and her pinky touched his. She seemed to have done it unintentionally but she didn't move her hand away. Did she feel that spark too, once their fingers started touching?
"I'd love to see you dance, Natalia."
"That's the first time you said my name." She smiled and placed her hand on his. God, he hoped that she wouldn't notice his goosebumps. "What's your favorite childhood memory?"
"Huh?" Where was that coming from? "Um...Oh, I know! I was fourteen and I saved enough money to take my mother to dinner for her birthday. It was nothing fancy, just some diner and we had burgers and milkshakes...but she looked so happy. When I think of her, I'll always think of that day."
Natalia smiled softly. "That's a wonderful memory, Steve."
"What's yours?"
"It's probably silly. I think I was ten, maybe eleven and I had to walk through a forest to get to the next village and I was exhausted but I saw this deer right in front of me. We just looked at each other and I don't know...I've never felt that peaceful before or ever again. It's stupid."
"No, it's not."
She smiled a little. "Thank you."
She asked him all kinds of questions about America and his childhood but didn't really talk about herself. He wondered if she'd had a tough upbringing and didn't like to talk about her past. She did tell him a few things she'd seen in London.
"Okay guys, it's two am." The bartender suddenly yelled. "It's time for you to go home."
God, had he been talking to Natalia for three hours? He looked for Bucky who was making out with the blonde. What a surprise. They pulled apart. Bucky looked over to him. "I'm walking Lillian home. See you tomorrow!" He grinned and took the girl's hand who giggled, and they left the bar together.
"You want me to walk you home now that your pal ditched you?" Natalia asked amused.
Steve laughed. "That's nice. Do you want me to walk you home?" She raised an eyebrow and looked amused. "I mean...I just want to make sure that you get home safely." He stuttered out. He didn't mean to imply anything else. That wasn't him.
Natalia looked like she wanted to decline his offer, but then she nodded. "That's very sweet of you. Thank you." They paid (Natalia wouldn't let him pay for her drinks) and he helped her into her coat before they left the bar as well.
The guesthouse she was staying at was only a ten minute walk away. She'd looped her arm through his during their walk and his heart started fluttering. Did the few people who saw them thought that they were a couple? Natalia asked him about his mother and the way she reacted almost made him think that she'd grown up without one. But she'd said that her mother had been American and taught her English...
"This is me." She stopped and tilted her head towards the house behind them. "Thank you for getting me home safely."
"You're welcome."
She bit her lip and his gaze fell immediately to her mouth. "Would you think less of me if I kissed you right now, Steve Rogers?"
She wanted to kiss him? He'd never wanted anything more in his moment. Not even to join the army. "No, I-" He didn't come any further because she was already pressing her lips against his. At first very carefully but then she cupped his face and moved her lips eagerly against his. His hands landed on her waist and he pulled her closer. So this was what all the fuss was about! He had to admit that kissing was really great! He could only focus on how soft her lips felt and how nice she smelled.
"Do you want to come up?" She whispered against his lips.
He gulped and took a step back. Was she...He'd never thought the day would come that something like this would happen to him. She smiled softly at him, her cheeks flushed and her pupils were so wide that he almost couldn't see the green of her eyes anymore. "Yes."
Her smile grew wider and she took his hand and they sneaked quietly up to her room.
Natalia was laying on her stomach on her bed and he drew circles on her naked and lightly sweaty back. He had slept with a woman. He'd never pictured it happening like this with a woman he'd just met, but it had felt right.
"Alright, I have a question for you, which you do not have to answer. I feel like if you don't answer it, though, you're kind of answering it, you know?" She turned her head to look at him.
"What?"
"Was that your first time?"
Shit. He thought that it had been good for her. "That bad, huh?" He asked quietly. He'd wanted her to feel as amazing as he had felt.
"No!" She said immediately and sat up rolling him on his back to hover over him. "It was amazing!" She said with a grin. "Don't worry about that! It was just...I don't now...You seemed so nervous and actually listened to me and my body to figure what I like. For a first time that was really impressive!"
"Yeah?"
"Mhm." She murmured and kissed him passionately. He wrapped his arms around her small waist and they kissed and kissed until they were both out of breath. "Oh." Natalia moaned. "Feels like you're ready for the next round."
Afterwards they were both panting and on their backs looking up at the ceiling. "You're a quick learner, Rogers." She chuckled and took his hand to lace their fingers together. "I'll give you that."
"Thanks?"
She grinned at him and kissed the back of his hand. "It's almost dawn." She whispered.
"Shit! I have to be at the barracks soon. I'm so sorry!" He didn't just want to leave like that. A part of him wanted to stay here with her. To stay here with her for good but he couldn't. And he probably shouldn't. "I...I'm leaving tomorrow."
"I understand."
"Can I...Can I see you again? Tonight? Or maybe-"
"I don't think that's a good idea." She interrupted him.
"Are you staying here for longer? Can I write you?"
Natalia sighed and let go of his hand. He felt like she'd slapped him. Had he been reading too much into this? "That's not a good idea. The best thing would be if you'd forget all about me."
"I don't think that's possible."
She smiled sadly. "You're such a sweet man, Steve. The girl you're gonna marry one day is very lucky." She cupped his face and kissed him. "I'll never forget you, Steve Rogers. But you should forget about me. It's better this way, believe me."
"Natalia-"
"If things were different...If I was different...I would write you and I would wait for you but...I could never be the right girl for you."
"I feel like there is something you're not telling me. Are you married?" Had he slept with a married woman? There had to be something because she wouldn't be acting like this if she'd just wanted to get rid of him.
"No, I'm not married. I wish I could tell you the truth, but you're better off not knowing, trust me." Her eyes were glistening but the tears were gone after she blinked. "You should leave now."
"Natalia-"
"Please just leave."
He didn't want to but he respected her wish even though he felt like she didn't want him to go. None of this made any sense. He got out of bed and back into his uniform. "I'll look for you once the war is over, Natalia."
"You don't even know my full name."
"I'll figure it out."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It's Natalia Romanova."
"Thank you." He didn't know how but he knew that it was a big gesture of trust that she'd told him that. "Thank you."
She stood up with the sheets wrapped around her naked body. She walked over to him and cupped his face with her small and soft hands. "You're one of a kind, Steve Rogers." She kissed him softly. "I'll never forget you."
"I'll find you. I won't stop until I find you and you can explain everything to me." He promised her fiercely. Maybe he was crazy, but he wanted a future with her.
"You shouldn't, but I want you to." She laughed quietly like she couldn't believe what she had just said. "Will you run away with me after you saved the world?"
"Yes."
She smiled and kissed him again. "Then you won't have to look for me. Let's meet one week after the war is officially declared over at our bar."
He nodded. "Yes. One week after the war is over."
She was basically beaming at him and his heart was racing. "And then we'll run away together. You're going to show me your Brooklyn?"
"I promise."
She kissed him again and he'd never felt like this before. He barely knew her but he'd risk everything for her. Was this what love at first sight felt like?
"Promise that you won't trust any Russians."
"What?"
"Promise me that you won't trust them. They are not just trying to defeat the Nazis."
What was she saying? What did she mean? How did she know this? Was she working for the Brits? It was crazy, but he trusted her. "I promise."
"Good." She almost looked relieved. "You have to go now before anyone sees you."
"Are you in danger?" The whole thing just felt...weird.
"No, but you might be."
"What? Come with me." He pleaded.
"No, I have to deal with a few things before we can run away together." She kissed him again and he knew it was a goodbye kiss. "I'll see you."
"Yes." He kissed her one last time and then walked to the door. She watched him with a smile and he nodded at her before he walked out of the room. God, he hoped the war would be over soon and Natalia would be waiting for him at the bar.
2012
He'd sacrificed his life and that fucking Tesseract was still a threat to the world. He'd died for nothing. He'd slept for seventy years and now he had to get the Tesseract back again. From a fucking alien. He'd missed living his life for this. God, he hated everything here. He'd waken up and his world was gone. His friends were dead. Everything was different and foreign to him. How was he supposed to catch up on seventy years?
He looked around the plane, a quinjet as Agent Coulson had explained, and thought about what else he'd lost. Natalia. He'd lost any chance of running away with her. Of being with her. Had she been at the bar one week after Japan had surrendered? Had she thought that he'd stood her up? Had she realized that he'd been gone? Dead? Had she found out that he had been Captain America? Had she been able to get away from whatever mess she had been in? Had she lived a good life? Had she been a ballerina?
"I gotta say it's an honor to meet you, officially." Agent Coulson interrupted his train of thoughts. Steve hoped the smile he was giving him was convincing. "I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was... I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a... just a huge honor to have you on board."
He stood up. "Well, I hope I'm the man for the job." He had to focus on Loki and the Tesseract. He could wallow in self pity once he'd completed the mission. Maybe SHIELD could find out what had happend to Natalia. He just hoped that she'd lived a long and happy life.
The quinjet landed on the landing strip of the carrier and he followed Coulson down the ramp. He looked up from the ground and his heart almost stopped beating. No, that was not...Was he hallucinating? The woman standing at the end of the ramp looked exactly like Natalia. But that was not possible! Was his mind playing tricks on him?
"Agent Romanoff." Coulson said and then pointed at Steve. "Captain Rogers."
Romanoff? That sounded a lot like Romanova. What the fuck was going on? Was she Natalia's granddaughter? Had Natalia found a man and started a family? His stomach twisted in knots at the thought even though he knew he had no right to feel like this.
"Ma'am?" He managed to say.
"Hi." Agent Romanoff said with a smile that lit up her whole face. And he knew in that moment with every fiber of his being that this was in fact Natalia. He didn't know how it was possible but that was his Natalia standing in front of him. Alive and barely looking a day older than the last time he'd seen her. "I thought we said one week and not almost seventy years, Steve Rogers."