Proof I Exist

A Zero/Rin fan fiction

Written by: shinedown

Disclaimer: If I owned Grand Chase, I'd so be all up in that Ronoob x Ele action. Hell, I'd even put it in the plot.

It was a dream—always the same dream. A dream of one day disappearing without a trace. A dream where he would leave her behind and leave behind nothing but a scar on her heart that would never heal.

He held the goddess reborn in his arms tightly, but not enough to wake her from her slumber. He had never felt like this before. He'd never in his life been afraid of anything. Not even his eventual confrontation with Void. The elder demon was indeed strong; he'd heard the tales from Grandark. He also knew the fear the much older man had known when he himself lay with his lover like this; her sleeping form nestled against him for protection from the cold winter wind. He never imagined he would lose her, and Zero was certain that Rin was completely unaware of his inner turmoil, completely unaware that he was scared that he would one day leave her behind.

Just earlier that day, the other members of the Grand Chase had come to congratulate them on their engagement. He had proposed to Rin a week before, when the nightmares that now plagued his mind did not exist. Grandark had teased that they fully intended to have a Zero Jr. soon enough and Rin blushed, though Lass and Arme had noticed the girl place a hand on her stomach absently. Zero caught this as well and later that night, his suspicions were confirmed; she was pregnant.

He was happy. Unbelievably happy, he was sure he would add, were he the one narrating this story. She had said she was hoping for twins, that way they could have a mini Zero and a mini Rin, and Zero had agreed, taking the woman in his arms and kissing her. In the short years he had been alive, he had never known that life could be this good. That living for someone you cared about deeply could bring such overwhelming happiness. He hadn't even known what happiness was until the day he and Rin announced officially that they were a couple.

When he had first met her, he regarded the girl the same as he did everything else: interesting, but not worth the time at present. He was focused, determined to take down Void with all he had. He had wanted only to achieve his goal. Upon meeting him in Thunder Hammer though, and suffering an embarrassingly crushing defeat, Rin had been there to pick up the defeated Zero, and bring his spirits back up. He pushed his body harder, developing more techniques to aid in protecting not just himself anymore. He decided, from that moment on, he would protect anyone important to him. Starting with Rin.

At first it was almost like an obsession, he did it because he felt he should. He took mortal blows for his comrades, pushing his body to the doors of death and sometimes even beyond. Grandark chastised him, mocked him saying he was being a fool that; he had greater things to focus on than throwing his life away for some fragile humans and a silly goddess who gave up her immortality. Zero hadn't listened. He disobeyed the sword then and sought only to protect that which was precious to him.

In time, even that strength didn't seem to be enough. Constantly comparing himself to Void and his strength, Zero was desperate to get stronger. To prove to not just Void but to everyone he cared for and any who opposed him, that Zero Zephyrum would do anything it took. Anything at all, to protect his friends.

Looking back on it, he couldn't believe how foolish he was. How silly he had been to be so desperate for power that he had let Grandark influence him more and more. Slowly his will vanished, and his body, pushed into overdrive to contain all that power, was slowly starting to fade away. Just thinking about it brought shivers down his spine. He had never thought that being at someone's mercy could be so…suffocating. At the time, he had felt liberated. He didn't have to think anymore, didn't have to plan his strategy or anything. Everything was left to Gran, and all he had to do was carry it out.

He remembered the nights he spent watching Rin like a hound, ever watchful and ever ready to strike out at anything that he deemed an enemy. Still fighting with his inner turmoil, seeking to turn it into strength, he hadn't noticed that Rin felt trapped. He hadn't noticed that everyone felt the same way—instead, he went about his days as he always had: focusing his masked eyes for any potential threat—

Zero felt a slight shifting in his arms and looked down to see cyan eyes looking back up at him. "You were awake this whole time?" He asked, somewhat amused. Rin shook her head, lifting one arm to her fiancé's face. Her hand was warm and soft, and her touch light. She was always gentle when handling others, as if her very touch could break them, leaving her alone. It was a silly thought, and he had told her so once when she told him of one of her nightmares: everything and everyone she touched turned to sand and blew away in the wind.

Rin was normally very confident, her smile able to lift everyone's spirits and she was great at encouraging others to do their best. Much like the dancer, Amy, she had become a vital member of the Grand Chase, for her ability to rally others and give them strength.

But that night, when she had tears in her eyes and trembled against him violently, he had never before seen a more vulnerable and broken goddess. It was as if all her strength was gone and she was just a helpless girl, a slave to all her insecurities and fears, with nothing to back her up and give her the support she needed. That is, until Zero had spoken three words he was certain he had never said before. Not because he didn't feel it, but he never felt the need. He showed her all the time in his actions, with his words and by being her shield in times of adversity. "I love you," he had said, and when more tears flowed from her startled eyes, he knew the effect was instant. She was happy, and she was visibly calming. A wide smile spread across her face as she held him tightly.

But now, as he lay here in bed, staring into the deep cyan orbs of his soon-to-be bride, he was the one scared now. He was never able to show his emotions, so on the surface he looked calm, but inside, he was a wreck. His fears now laid bare before him, he didn't know what to do to overcome them. His body was dying, his consciousness slipping, and Grandark refused to acknowledge him anymore, fully intent to dominate the boy if he so wished. Slipping in and out of madness more and more with each passing day, Zero didn't know how much longer it would be before he was no longer himself. His doubts weighed heavily on his mind, and regret filled him to his core. At this rate, he would never live to see his children born.

"You're thinking too much, like always." Rin said, as if reading his thoughts. He smiled faintly, though it seemed more like a scowl at the time. Rin shifted in bed, so that she was eye level with him, both hands caressing his face, her fingers playing at the edges of his mask. "You just have to have faith that nothing will go wrong, that things will get better. Trust me, Zero. You can fight it, whatever it is that's bothering you. You'll win."

"I don't know about that, but thanks. I'll do my best." Zero smiled, genuinely this time. Rin returned it, placing a soft kiss on his lips before lying back against his chest. Leaning back against the headboard, Zero closed his eyes and fell asleep, holding the goddess in his arms for warmth, wondering if it would be his last memory of her like this, before he was gone for good. He pushed the thought aside, relishing the feeling as much as he could.