To say that fate despised him at the moment... well, that was most definitely an understatement.
Fate had captured his heart, and given it to someone. Someone he would never get, and who would never realise.
Usually, one would think it wasn't so bad; it really wasn't. His heart screamed in joy and excitement at this newfound... crush (he cringed and reddened at the childish, yet accurate, name for these feelings); his mind and logic said otherwise.
But, slowly but surely, his crush turned into love, and it hurt. It broke his heart every day and broke him further, and the more it hurt, the more his love grew.
The more his love grew? Another step he took this chilly afternoon deep within London. Off in the horizon, his eyes caught the London Bridge, causing his eyes to water, and a small sniffle got caught muffled in the scarf.
His eyes fluttered as the cold hit them, and as he brain drifted towards thoughts of the boy he loved so deeply, his heart broke all over again.
The walk there was long and torturous. He was nearly out of breath as he reached the gate of the bridge, staring at the remainder of his fate in the waters below.
He looked at his reflection in the water, his eyes who everyone thought were beautiful now faded, his tears gently rippling as they touched the surface of the slowly running river.
He gripped the railing behind him, knuckles turning white. The boy closed his eyes, thoughts of his love filling his mind, and took a deep breath.
Just one little push-
"WAIT!"
His eyes widened, and he froze, turning around to face the voice, tears still gently falling from his eyes.
He was beautiful, the way he approached me. Hair flying, breathing heavy (he must have ran when he saw me), skin much paler than usual, if that was even possible.
"Dan? Dan, what are you doing?!" Anger flickered in his eyes between the panic and relief.
He froze at the words, and he didn't know what to say to the boy he loved and hated so much, who made him want to cry at some times, and to hug and kiss him forever at others.
Dan looked down at the water again, voice caught in his throat.
"Please..." Phil whispered, utter terror evident in his voice. He held his hand out to me. "Please come back! You can't do this to me..."
His eyes widened. "Wh-why? Why do you..." He sobbed, the taste of the salt from his tears hitting his tongue. "Why do you care?" He finally choked out, surprised at how clear he sounded.
"Just get down!" Phil himself was on the verge of tears.
"NO!"
"Come here, NOW." Phil grabbed Dan's wrist to tug the boy towards him. The sudden movement made Dan wavering on the edge causing his heart to leap.
Dan shrieked, practically throwing himself against Phil, heart pounding in fright.
He felt warmth and butterflies in his stomach, like when his crush first formed, but of course it was replaced with the pain and need from the love. He looked up into the other's light blue eyes, and saw fear and horror.
"Dan..." Every trace of anger disappeared from Phil's features, his face softening greatly. "Let's go back home, yeah?"
Dan looked down. "No... You've done this too many times." He didn't know how to explain why he said it, but he saw his own surprise reflected in Phil's eyes.
Dan slowly leaned forward, lips puckering just slightly. Only inches away from Phil's, and he heard the ebony-hair boy freeze as his breath hitched.
He stopped moving. Their lips just millimeters apart, and Dan didn't connect them.
Instead, he slowly turned and started walking back to the flat, deciding that was a better decision anyways.
Phil's eyes were the only thing that moved for a split second, following Dan's form.
Dan went red, his heart shattering again from the desperate love he held for Phil. He felt his legs collapse under him, and his tears flow down his face, eyes widening as he felt arms around him and he cried his heart out into his friend's shoulder.
"Dan, Dan..." Phil stroked his friend's hair, the loud sobs preventing Dan from actually responding. He sighed and wrapped one arm around Dan's back, and the other under his knees.
It was a long trek back to their flat, but Dan's sobbing form cuddling into Phil's body was all the motivation he needed to carry both of their weight home.
Dan felt Phil sit down, still holding the sobbing form of the youngest in his arms. "I'm sorry" he whispered, his throat hurting from all the crying.
"Dan? Honey?" He brushed the fringe out of Dan's sweaty and tear-covered face, "Sweetheart..."
Phil never really used affectionate nicknames unless if was a serious situation. And even then, he used them only with Dan. No one else.
"Don't you ever feel sorry."
Dan looked up at his friend, silently cursing himself as he saw the tears that were gently falling out of his perfect blue eyes.
Phil leaned down and lightly kissed Dan on his temple, just like he knew Dan liked it. He noticed Dan's cheeks redden and giggled slightly, not caring if Dan hear him.
Dan cocked his head lightly. "What's with the giggling?" He murmured gently, noticing the look Phil gave him that showed pure affection, but of course he was wrong, he was just in love and hallucinating.
Phil just pulled Dan, who was still on his lap, a close to him as possible, cuddling him like a small kitten. He smiled.
"You're just so cute when you blush."
Dan's heart broke all over again, it was just Phil being overly affectionate, he was almost completely sure of it, and it hurt. "Stop it..." He whispered. "It hurts... It hurts when you act like this." Phil looked confused, so the younger just broke down in tears again.
"What?" Phil pulled away slightly to look at his friend, who saw this as an opportunity to escape Phil's grasp.
Phil, however, was always quick to react. He grasped Dan's wrist and pulled him back to his lap to the same position, cuddling him even tighter if that was possible.
"I need to go, Phil!"
"No," Phil stated sternly, gently but firmly cupping Dan's face so that they faced each other, inches apart. "What you need is me to be here for you. And I will do that until you feel better or tell me what's going on."
"No!" Dan cried, his heart hurting more. "I can't do this. I can't do it. You're always nice to me, you haven't done anything wrong really, but it hurts! Phil... It hurts because..."
Dan looked down and avoided his friend's gaze, his voice caught in his throat.
"Dan..."
Despite popular belief, Phil's grip was much stronger than Dan's, and they both secretly knew there was no way Dan was getting out of this now.
"Please don't be afraid. Just... Tell me..."
Dan pulled away, sitting up and staring into his friend's eyes.
"Ok then Phil. If you want me to tell you I will! Maybe I've been in love with my best friend for a while now, and all he does is make me fucking love him more and it hurts because I fucking LOVE you Phil!"
Dan was full on crying now, sobbing and choking out words, as he collapsed on the floor, regret and relief flooding through him.
Phil immediately sprung up to retrieve Dan, knowing that his response would fall on deaf ears through the utter meltdown Dan was having.
"I fucking love you Phil!"
Despite the sobbing boy cradled in his arms like a small child, Phil could help but smile like a fool.
In the sudden rush of joy once the realization that finally hit him, that Dan loved him, he all by squished the boy in his arms. Phil drew soft circles on Dan's back with one hand and cradled one cheek, wiping away the tears, widgets other.
Dan didn't even seem to notice at first the comforting gestures or Phil's goofy grin; he was too deep in this meltdown.
The poor thing.
Dan gasped and choked and sobbed more, his head buried in the other's chest. Then it hit him. He looked up at his friend, who was smiling, his eyes filled with affection.
"Y-you don't hate me?" He whimpered.
"Honey, how could I hate you..." Phil gently kissed Dan's lips.
Nothing hot and passionate; just sweet, simple, and completely to the point.
"...when I'm too busy loving you?"
Dan gasped, taking a moment to react, before grabbing Phil and kissing his lips with all of his pent-up emotions from all those years almost leaving instantly as he knocked his friend backwards, his hands in the older's hair.
Phil finally pulled away to breathe, thoroughly amused by Dan's excitement.
"Whoa! Slow down a bit, yeah?" He laughed, pulling Dan in for a more loving, gentle kiss, slowly rubbing his hands around Dan's back.
Dan giggled."But I've loved you for ages!" He fake pouted, turning around and sulking, and waiting for Phil to move up behind him to kiss him on the cheek.
"But I loved you for much longer!" Phil tackled him from behind, assaulting Dan's neck with light kisses, reaching down to squeeze his butt playfully.
Dan squealed "Phiiiil!" He whined. "Stooop!" He smiled again, his eyes filled with happiness, his smile felt like it'd never end.
His eyes opened. He looked down at the water again, sighing. His dreams were almost believable, but not real. He pulled himself up and jumped...
Phil awoke with a scream, heart pounding from the overly-vivid nightmare.
"DAN! IM SCARED. PLEASE, DANNY, I NEED YOU!" Phil wailed, tears pouring down his face in this utterly distraught state.
Dan burst into Phil's room, no questions asked.
He immediately began comforting Phil, "There, there... It was just a dream. I'm here for you; don't worry."
He already felt Phil's sobs quiet as he stroked Phil's hair.
"I'll always be there for you..."
Dan's eyes snapped open at the memory.
Phil still needs me.
But it was too late, and Dan's eyes widened at the quickly-approaching surface of the water.
Phil gasped and screamed, tears running down his face. "Dan?!" He called out into the flat, but hearing no reply. Of course Dan wouldn't wake up yet, he was Dan after all. He got up and walked across the room, and stopped.
What was he doing here?
Where was this?
He screamed and grabbed his hair, collapsing on the floor, crying loudly, remembering everything.
Dan was dead.
Phil wasn't at home anymore.
He was in an Asylum.