Note: Harry Potter and all its characters, creatures and settings are owned and created by JKR and corresponding owners. But I own the souls of Matt, Jess, Kris, Joey and Lori…just not the souls of the people they represent.

CHAPTER 1

"Now, you all remember what you have to do?" Remus asked the five of them.

Matt, Joey, Jess, Kris and Lori continued to snore, heads on each others shoulders, on the train car. It was heading towards London, the centre of the Second War at the time. The four were meant to infiltrate Voldemort's headquarters and get as much information on his habits as possible, in order to for the Order to get a better ground on their enemy. From the looks of it, however, they wouldn't get much.

The train came to a screeching halt; Matt snorted himself awake, causing the rest of them to raise their heads, Remus' disappointing face greeting their sleepy eyes.

Remus shook his head. "You all have to take this seriously. This is war!"

With a serious expression on her face, Lori strapped on an army helmet, in a pink camouflage pattern. Painting below her eyes with black face paint, Lori then loaded her rifle. Nearly breaking everyone else's eardrums, she shouted, "Ready, sir!"

"Lori, put that thing down, and Jess…" Remus turned to her, "please, put that…whatever it is, away."

Jess put down the portable television, shutting off SG-1 from her viewing. Sullen, she looked at Remus with puppy dog eyes, hoping to convince him to let her put it back on. Remus wasn't easily won over; he just glared back at her with a disproving look.

"Just so you know, Artemis," he said, pointing to the gray and brown Great Horned owl on his shoulder, "will be sending our owls and sending yours. Keep an eye out for him."

The bird hissed; Joey crouched further back onto the car seat. "That is, if we have eyes to look with."

"Let us know if he's onto you, we'll get you out of there as soon as we can. Kris, since you seem to be the most sensible out of them all, I'm leaving you…"

His sentence trailed off as he stared with an eyebrow raised at Kris hugging a picture of her favorite TV character, Vaughn, whispering cutesy words, swaying back and forth.

Remus finished his sentence in an exasperated sigh. "…in charge of them."

Following the map they were given to by Mad-eye Moody, the five of them finally reached the door of the dark fortress. Ooze seeped from the crevasses of the walls, ravens squawked and owls hooted from dark corners of the surrounding trees as thunder passed overhead.

"So, where's the doorbell to this place?" Matt asked, out of breath from the long hike up the hill. He still couldn't believe he had to walk, even if it was to save the world. "You know, Remus could have rented us a car, and then we could have driven up here."

Kris rolled her eyes. "Yeah, up what road? And with what money? And what license?"

"Oh."

Lori walked up to the door, inspecting the old rusty lock. She shook it but it wouldn't come loose. "I suppose since we're wizards we have to open it like wizards do."

Anticipating for her to take out her wand, the group huddled around her, waiting to see the first spell preformed by any of them in a long time. But she did the opposite; she banged on the double doors.

"Hello? Anyone in there?"

"Hey! What are you doing down there?" a voiced called from one of the watch towers. A stout man with small watery eyes, a pointed nose and colorless unkempt hair with a bald spot in the back stood with his wand erect, held by his grubby skinned hands. "State your business!"

"We've come to speak to the Dark Lord," Joey, speaking for the group. He continued to read off of the notes he had written down on his hand. "We wish for acceptance into his league of Death Eaters."

The man shot a questioning glance. They were hoping he was buying it.

Holding a box of a dozen doughnuts up, Matt added. "We brought doughnuts!"

Scurrying down, the man opened the double doors, panting furiously. "Wonderful. The Lord will see you now, follow me. You pastry people certainly have quick delivery time. We thought we'd be waiting forever for those to arrive. Bring the rest of them in while you're at it."

The group stood confused as the stout man walked on. Then they all looked to Matt, staring at them then to the box of doughnuts, knowing what he had done. "Well, how I supposed to know that delivery truck was going to their place? Plus I was hungry. I guess I shouldn't have eaten everything in the truck."

"Multiplius!" Kris said, tapping the box with her wand. The one box instantly turned into 20, too much for Matt to carry alone. Catching several boxes before they fell to the ground, the group followed the stout man into the mansion.

They walked the corridors, each place getting darker and darker the further they went down. It seemed impossible, though, since every wall was painted black. What would one expect from an evil sorcerer, you ask? Jess was expecting a paint job, or at least brighter colors. She decided her first task was to paint all the Death Eaters' masks in bright colors.

A/N: Okay, so that was the first chapter of my…well, story I suppose. So what do you think? What should go next? I was inspired by the 101 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort list. Take a look at the link. Just to explain to y'all, my characters are inspired by people I actually know, Josh (Joey), Jenn (Jess), Kristy (Kris), Mark (Matt) and myself (Lori, changed from Lena), so, yes it is a partial Mary Sue, with Harry Potter as the basis. Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcomed. And if it's flames you send, remember as always: Flames help me roast my marshmallows!