On the Train

Disclaimer: The author does not own any rights to the Harry Potter empire, and no money is being made from the effort of typing this drivel. Characters and the Hogwarts express (and I presume the tracks on which it runs) are owned by JK Rowling and her associates.

Rating: T Warnings of minor naughtiness, nothing more.

Synopsis: With some expert advice from her siblings, one of Harry's friends has organized some pay-back.

September 1, 199-something

Most of the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry sat in their compartments on the Hogwarts Express as it steamed north from King's Cross Station in London into the highlands of Scotland. Others roamed the length of the train, attending meetings (for the Prefects and the new Head Boy and Head Girl), visiting friends, or generally annoying other students.

Of the last variety were Draco Malfoy and his band of miscreants, Slytherins all. The blond ponce believed he, as a pure–blood wizard, was personally the pinnacle of creation. His friends were of similar minds, both in respect to Draco's overblown sense of self-importance, as well as their own.

One of the self-appointed tasks of this merry band was the harassment of any students who were not seen as being up to their impossibly high standards. This included any who were not of pure wizarding blood for at least as far back as the cleverly forged family trees would show (neglecting certain episodes of marriages between first cousins, and it was rumoured, even closer relations). Of particular focus for this group were Harry Potter and his friends, the mudblood witch and the blood-traitor family.

Every year, Draco and what were generally referred to by other students as his stooges, his bookends, or to the more piscatorially aware, his remoras, would go to the compartment where Ron and Ginny Weasley and their friends were encamped.

This year, however, it was going to be different.

Ginny Weasley had inherited her mother's temper, and her twin elder brothers' attitude to what was and what was not considered allowable behaviour. She had made some preparations, and was just waiting to spring her trap. In this endeavour, she had told her friends her plan, and so when the Slytherin would-be vigilantes arrived, they were met by a volley of stunning spells.

Draco's pack, this time, numbered only four, being Draco himself, Gregory Goyle, Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode. Their usual cohort, Vincent Crabbe, had located the bottle of firewhiskey that had been (poorly) secreted in the boys' loo by the Weasley twins, and thinking nothing of it, proceeded to drink a good portion of it. The combined effects of the ipecac and castor oil which had been added to the bottle (with a judicious spell to mask their flavours) made it certain that he would not be joining his friend in their harassment effects, and would not likely leave the boys' loo in the foreseeable future.

As Draco jerked the compartment door open, and started to make his usual comments about the presence of Scarhead, the mudblood and the blood-traitors, he and his comrades fell to the floor of the carriage. Ginny and Luna Lovegood immediately levitated the group into the cabin.

Luna smiled a very nasty smile, which looked very strange with the wide-eyed semi-stunned look in her eyes. She giggled, which raised eyebrows by her companions (Luna had never before been known to giggle). Looking at the rest in the compartment, she ordered "I have an idea. Strip them!"

Ron Weasley looked at his sister's blonde friend in confusion. The young witch smiled at him and pointed out that Draco and Pansy were approximately the same height as each other, and Goyle and Bulstrode were similarly similar. Luna grinned and said "I think that their clothing would fit each other quite well."

In rapid order, the two pairs of students were undressed (with Ron Weasley, on seeing Millicent's nude form, complained "My eyes. My Eyes!") and then re-dressed in the clothes of the other. A quick disillusion spell was applied, timed to fail only during the sorting feast when the four Slytherins were in the middle of the Great Hall of Hogwarts. During this process, Luna commented that the obese Goyle's breasts were as large as Bulstrode's, so her bra would probably fit him perfectly, which it did.

The four were moved to an empty compartment, and Harry recruited Colin Creavey to come with his camera, to record the evidence before the disillusion charms were applied. Being one of the new Polaroid series of wizarding cameras, prints were immediately sent to the daily Prophet, as well as to Draco's father. This was to negate any effect of Draco's usual threat of "When my father hears about this…", as he (Malfoy senior) would already be aware of his son's transvestite proclivities.

A second stunning spell was applied as the train pulled into Hogsmeade station, so that the pack would sleep longer, and would have to rush to get to the castle on time.

Once the group awoke, they grabbed the last thestral-drawn carriage (which was still waiting for them) and arriving at the castle's doors, ran into the castle to their places at the Slytherin table. While they ran, the girls noted that their undergarments were failing to provide their usual support, while the boys found that their underwear was giving far more support than was normal. Due to their rushing to get to their places, they thought no more about the implications at the time.

When the disillusion charms failed, an hour later all students who had cameras, having been warned, were prepared.

As they say, it was one for the record books.